(no subject)
Well ive been spending all my time lately thinking bout my life and ive noticed how good it is and how lucky i really am, but for the first time in like 3 weeks i dont have something to or someone to talk to and maybe thats why i have been feeling so great i have things to do, and now i dont so today i feel like crap, i really just wish i had 1 person, someone who knew the real me, someone that would know if im putting up a face or if im for real, Cuz truth be told i dont know if im puting up or a face or if im really happy, I feel happy, i feel good, but i let myself get to me an i think these things just cant be, like i dont deserve happiness or something. I really just want someone to hold. I want someone to cuddle with and enjoy these cold nights together. Someone to stare at the stars with. I want to love someone, to have them know that my world isnt complete if they are not a part of my life, that i could not be who i am if they werent with me. I wanna be in love. Yea so im 19 and being in love never works out but i still want it. Ill take the pain that comes if or when it doesnt work out. You have to live for today and not worry bout tomorrow and im just tired of watching everyone else have someone, practically everyone i know is in a relationship and im jealous, i dont even know what it is. Why am I the guy thats only has had 1 girlfriend. Why am i the guy thats only kissed 1 girl. Why am I the guy thats only fallen in love once. I honestly dont think I am a bad guy, maybe i have issues or problems i dunno, maybe its just like my ex use to say im a chick, i guess i just care to much, i dont wanna get hurt again and its taking me alot to trust people, but i feel that i could love someone, i could give them my heart, but why is that other people get to have the 1 thing in life that i always wanted...love.