Autumn Lives.
Ah...and so I rest beneath the grafitti in celebration of my past misfortune once again.
Cold.Outside.Alone. The way I like it. Sure, having someone to cuddle with might be nice, but hey, can't winnem all right? I live for moments like these. Maybe not for the emotional state I've become intwined in but definitly for the peaceful experience of them. I bare the cold. My fingers freeze as I write. Its worth it. This amont of solitude and "zen" cannot be found in front of any computer screen in any household. This is sanctity. This is Autumn folks. This season is my reflection.
Is that weird? Of course it is...That's what I'm looked at as now-a-days. I'm weird because I think. I'm weird because I can talk. I can write. I have no problem explaining the way I feel. Fuck me. I guess I am weird, huh?
I haven't been lying. I'm not frustrated with you. I'm frustrated with myself for allowing myself to feel too quickly and fall too roughly. I want what I can't have. A taste of what I can't drink. Call me crazy(or weird...hah) but not being able to obtain what I feel like I want or need, just doesn't seem like it should be something I see as being an acceptable factor in my book. But then again...who actually wants to accept defeat? I'll give you a hint. It starts with No.One.
I'm impatient for acceptance or closure. Maybe a bit of both? Maybe there are the same. What do I know? My twenty year-old philosopher mind only knows so much, right? Or can I tell the future? I know which one works for me.
My hands are blue and shaky. Now we're getting somewhere. Now I'm feeling just what an hour or more of quiet and peace is worth to me. My joints are cold and arthritic. Crazy eh? No. Just weird.
I miss my trust and ability to leave it with certain individuals. I guess I'd better get used to that feeling huh? Gaining my trust is like seeing bigfoot. You'll encounter it once and never again.
maybe I should start using those words more often.
Never Again.
Peace and Love.
Cold.Outside.Alone. The way I like it. Sure, having someone to cuddle with might be nice, but hey, can't winnem all right? I live for moments like these. Maybe not for the emotional state I've become intwined in but definitly for the peaceful experience of them. I bare the cold. My fingers freeze as I write. Its worth it. This amont of solitude and "zen" cannot be found in front of any computer screen in any household. This is sanctity. This is Autumn folks. This season is my reflection.
Is that weird? Of course it is...That's what I'm looked at as now-a-days. I'm weird because I think. I'm weird because I can talk. I can write. I have no problem explaining the way I feel. Fuck me. I guess I am weird, huh?
I haven't been lying. I'm not frustrated with you. I'm frustrated with myself for allowing myself to feel too quickly and fall too roughly. I want what I can't have. A taste of what I can't drink. Call me crazy(or weird...hah) but not being able to obtain what I feel like I want or need, just doesn't seem like it should be something I see as being an acceptable factor in my book. But then again...who actually wants to accept defeat? I'll give you a hint. It starts with No.One.
I'm impatient for acceptance or closure. Maybe a bit of both? Maybe there are the same. What do I know? My twenty year-old philosopher mind only knows so much, right? Or can I tell the future? I know which one works for me.
My hands are blue and shaky. Now we're getting somewhere. Now I'm feeling just what an hour or more of quiet and peace is worth to me. My joints are cold and arthritic. Crazy eh? No. Just weird.
I miss my trust and ability to leave it with certain individuals. I guess I'd better get used to that feeling huh? Gaining my trust is like seeing bigfoot. You'll encounter it once and never again.
maybe I should start using those words more often.
Never Again.
Peace and Love.