[FIC: TRICK 03a]
Title: Trick
Author: sexineko
Genre: Romance/Drama
Chapter: 03
Length: undecided - chaptered
Pairing: Jaeho (seme!jae, uke!ho)
Rating: R - NC17
Summary: Cause there was nothing wrong with loving him, cause this, this feeling felt right and wonderful. They were going to show the world that their kind of love was okay, it wasn’t scary and it wasn’t wrong. We’re TRICK, ready or not, here we come.
Beta’d by my wonderful chan-chan. (chants_xan)
He groaned and pushed deeper as tight heat surrounded him, fire rushing through his veins making it hard to breath. He grabbed the legs wrapped tightly around him and placed them on his shoulders, thrusting deeper.
Changmin cried out as he hit his prostate, hands clutching his shoulders, nails digging in, making him hiss in pleasure and pain. Junsu leaned down, capturing the soft lips and shoving his tongue in Changmin’s mouth as he plunged deeper into him.
It was a sinful dance of want and desires. Changmin’s cries fueling his desire even more, driving him crazy with want. Insatiable, maddening desire was all he felt and he ground his hips against Changmin’s prostate, drawing out a scream.
“Come on baby, scream louder for me.” He whispered breathily in to Changmin’s ear, alternating between thrusting and grinding his hips. He wanted to make Changmin feel just as crazy, make him scream and beg, just like how he felt.
So close, he felt the pressure building up, it was right there but he didn’t want to cum yet, he didn’t want to cum at all, he wanted to draw this out for as long as he could. Heaven, it felt like heaven except heaven shouldn’t feel this sinful, this wonderfully wrong that it was right.
“Ah fuck, Junsu-yah” Changmin cried out, then he was saying his name like a prayer, arching up and cumming all over his chest. He felt Changmin tighten around him and with a low groan, a shout of his lover’s name and bright light clouded his vision.
Junsu gasped as he woke up, sweat covering his body and his breath harsh. With a groan of distaste he stood up, tossing the soiled boxers aside and walked towards his bathroom. He turned on the lights and stared at his image with a frown.
Two years and he was still having dreams about Changmin. He felt like a teenager all over again, raging hormones and awkward all over. He climbed in to the shower, letting the hot water run over him, wishing it would wash away the need, this painful yearning he felt.
Even after all this time, after all his girlfriends and one night stands the one person who drove him crazy was Changmin. Changmin was the only person who could make him scream, make him beg; make him want to lose the careful control he had.
Exiting the shower he threw on a pair of boxers, some sweats and grabbed his sweat shirt before heading out in to his living room. He glanced at the clock and noticed it was only five am, way too early to be up and definitely way to early to be thinking about that tall idiot.
He collapsed on to the sofa and stared up at the ceiling, replaying the dream. He could still hear Changmin’s cries, his warm, tight, heat surrounding him. Why is it so hard to let you go? Junsu thought angrily. Get out of my head; get out of my heart because honestly, he couldn’t take anymore of this.
He wanted to run to him, tell him it’s okay for them to be together. Tell him there’s nothing wrong with two men being together but the pain, the memories of their departure kept him from saying anything. Changmin was too afraid, too ashamed of what he was and himself. Despite all the tough words and prideful thinking, he was too scared to admit that he was in love with a man. At least to the world, in his head, he could say it loud and proud.
He stood up and walked over to his fireplace, glancing over at the picture before his eyes settled on one particular picture. It was a picture of them together, so young and foolishly happy. It was a bright sunny day, after a whole week of rain the sun decided to grace them with its presence once again. Junsu packed a lunch for the two and went to the park they frequented, found a secluded corner and had lunch along with warm honey kisses.
He lightly ran a finger over Changmin’s face and wished, even if just for a moment, they could be back to that time. He sighed and grabbed his wallet and keys before heading out the door. A talk with his brother might help clear his head a bit and headed to the hospital because he was positive that was where he would be.
---
And just as he thought, there was JaeJoong cuddled up to Yunho on the small hospital bed. Junsu walked over and sat down in the empty chair next to the bed and stared at the two figures blissfully unaware of the attention.
Junsu was jealous, so envious of the courage his brother had and the love. He wasn’t blind unlike his brother, he saw the way Yunho stared at his brother, and what he saw was the same look Changmin used to have when looking at him. Their love was amazing in his opinion. Those two were so supportive of each other, always there and knowing what the other needed, feared, desired.
Yunho and JaeJoong, they were like two peas in a pod. Sure they could get a bit loud when arguing and their ignorance to their love for each other was a bit annoying but a love like theirs wasn’t something you encountered often. It was the rare, unconditional, blinding love that you saw in movies and dreamt about at night.
He was so envious of his brother’s strength and proud for doing what he was doing, for going through all this just so others could have a chance at a love people were too afraid and ignorant to understand. If his brother can do it, why couldn’t he? Why couldn’t Changmin?
He sighed and refocused his attention on his brother, contemplating if he should wake him up or just wait till he stirs himself. No doubt he didn’t get much sleep, guilt ridden over Yunho. A few minutes of contemplating and Junsu was saved from a decision as sleepy dark chocolate eyes blinked sleepily at him.
“Su? What are you doing here?” JaeJoong asked voice heavy with sleep.
“I couldn’t sleep.” He replied and watched as his brother carefully got up, careful not to disturb the sleeping figure. JaeJoong got up, put on his shoes and made his way to the table, grabbing a drink and turned back to Junsu, eyes expectant and knowing, “So, what’s wrong?”
He sighed and ran a hand through his still wet hair, not sure where to start. He took a deep breath and decided to ask him the question that’s been bothering him for awhile.
“How do you do it?”
JaeJoong blinked and stared at him, confusion coloring his eyes. “Do what?”
Junsu glanced at Yunho’s sleeping figure, “Have the word scrutinize your every move, talk behind your back because your with a man?” Junsu turned his eyes back to JaeJoong, eyes curious and sad. Comprehension dawned on JaeJoong’s face and he turned his eyes towards Yunho also, eyes turning soft and a small smile blooming across his face.
“It has its moments. We’re doing this for them, those who don’t have a voice.” JaeJoong turned his eyes back to Junsu, eyes searching, and tilted his head curiously to the side. “What’s really bothering you?”
“I might… no, I do love a man but I’m not sure what to do. We already ended on bad terms but I can’t stop dreaming about him, hyung. He’s all I can think about, all I can fucking see.” Junsu said in an angry whisper, eyes shutting as his eyes watered.
JaeJoong stood there silently, taking in his brother’s appearance and his words, his eyes calculating and working to figure out who exactly this mystery man was. Junsu turned sad, confused eyes to JaeJoong and he sucked in a breath as everything fell into place.
“Changmin?” JaeJoong asked and Junsu’s nod confirmed his realization.
“But when…?” JaeJoong trailed off, mind whirling at the new knowledge. How did he miss this? His baby brother and Yunho’s brother together … and apparently in love.
“Back when you were training for the debut.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” JaeJoong asked, not sure if he was hurt or not. Junsu’s eyes turned towards him, filled with self hatred and remorse.
“I could hardly accept it myself, how was I going to tell you?” Junsu said, his voice defeated. JaeJoong sighed and walked over to his brother, pulling him in for a hug, clutching him tight and Junsu clung to him, body shaking with unshed tears.
“I love him so much it hurts, hyung.” Junsu whispered brokenly and JaeJoong’s heart broke because he knew exactly how that felt and JaeJoong’s eyes turned to Yunho and let out a squeak of surprise as he saw tired brown eyes staring back in to his own. Junsu pulled back, ready to ask what’s wrong when he saw Yunho’s eyes open and staring at them, curiosity written all over his face.
“Hyung! You’re awake.” Junsu said with a nervous chuckle, hands running through his hair.
“Changmin huh?” Yunho said with a thoughtful look on his face. Junsu could do nothing else but nod, since he already knew there was no point in denying it now.
“So, why is he against us then?” Yunho asked curiously. JaeJoong turned to him, also curious, as he shifted on the bed next to Yunho.
“Because he doesn’t want to admit he could love a man.” Junsu said bitterly, a slight pout on his face.
Yunho and JaeJoong were both quietly contemplating in their own heads as Junsu sat in his seat, fidgeting nervously for their reactions. It wasn’t that he was scared they were going to be against it-- that would be counter-productive to why they were in the group to begin with-- but the fact that it was Changmin. Yunho’s younger brother, the one who was barely legal when they first started their relationship whereas Junsu was legal and definitely old enough to know that he shouldn’t be doing the things he did with Changmin. Okay definitely not making myself feel better, stop thinking Junsu, stop thinking.
“Relax, would you? We’re not mad.” Yunho said, exasperated. JaeJoong grunted his agreement next to him, eyes searching his for something. For what, he wasn’t sure.
“You love him,” JaeJoong said. Junsu nodded, curious as to where this was going. “He loves you,” JaeJoong continued, and once again Junsu nodded, “you want to be with him right?” JaeJoong asked and this time, Junsu hesitated but nodded because it was true, he did want to be with him, “Then what’s stopping you?” JaeJoong concluded, he said it so simply that Junsu wondered, what was stopping him? But he knew the answer to that.
He was stopping himself because he was afraid of getting hurt; having his heart bare to someone who would, in the end, crush it with their hands. Because Changmin was the one person in the world who could crush him and put him back together and that thought, alone, frightened him.
“I know you’re scared but if you truly want to be with him, if you truly love him, then he’s worth the pain and more.” JaeJoong said with a soft smile, a knowing look in his eyes. He had a look in his eyes that Junsu saw in his own countless times and Junsu wondered is that how it is with Yunho?
Yunho was looking at JaeJoong with a weird look on his face, his eyes indescribable, and Junsu figured this would be his cue to leave. So he stood up, tossing them a grateful smile.
“Thanks hyung-duel. Get better soon okay? I’ll visit again later.” And Junsu was out the door, mind whirling with emotions and one question kept circling his head, Was Changmin really worth it? And Junsu found himself reluctantly thinking, Yeah, he is.
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to be continued on part 03b.