the sound of loneliness makes me happier.
i hate when my ribs feel like they are bleeding from the inside.
i woke up this morning startled by one of the scariest dreams yet: my past. it was a combination of a bad memory that has escaped me and pure insanity. the dream started with the thought of my parents renewing their vows--i think i laughed in my sleep. but in this moment, if i close my eyes, i can recall every detail of the dream. someone save me.
3 days ago i felt the most excruciating pain in my ankle. i could barely walk on it and that was AFTER it cracked back into place. eventually the pain subsided but i am not looking forward to feeling that again, especially because it can only get worse. fucking sweet.
i am having one of the worst weeks ever and its only tuesday. i cant wait until school is over yet i still have a whole month left. and my teachers could be worse and i cant deal with who i have now? fuck me, i dont think i can make it.
but hey, school, no matter how bad (and rn its VERY bad) is better than staying home and listen to my parents fight the same fight at the top of their lungs.
i miss the weeks where i loved my life wholeheartedly. oh wait, i cant miss them because they never existed.
i possibly may be the worst friend ever. its too hard for people to hate me because my better times apparently make the bad times bearable. but people, you deserve stability.
i love you and thats why its so wrong to keep stringing you along, willingly or not.
i hate being the bragging rights.
i hate being the one to put the blame on, the one to scream at.
i hate being not good enough.
i hate being who i am.
i woke up this morning startled by one of the scariest dreams yet: my past. it was a combination of a bad memory that has escaped me and pure insanity. the dream started with the thought of my parents renewing their vows--i think i laughed in my sleep. but in this moment, if i close my eyes, i can recall every detail of the dream. someone save me.
3 days ago i felt the most excruciating pain in my ankle. i could barely walk on it and that was AFTER it cracked back into place. eventually the pain subsided but i am not looking forward to feeling that again, especially because it can only get worse. fucking sweet.
i am having one of the worst weeks ever and its only tuesday. i cant wait until school is over yet i still have a whole month left. and my teachers could be worse and i cant deal with who i have now? fuck me, i dont think i can make it.
but hey, school, no matter how bad (and rn its VERY bad) is better than staying home and listen to my parents fight the same fight at the top of their lungs.
i miss the weeks where i loved my life wholeheartedly. oh wait, i cant miss them because they never existed.
i possibly may be the worst friend ever. its too hard for people to hate me because my better times apparently make the bad times bearable. but people, you deserve stability.
i love you and thats why its so wrong to keep stringing you along, willingly or not.
i hate being the bragging rights.
i hate being the one to put the blame on, the one to scream at.
i hate being not good enough.
i hate being who i am.