Bawdy Butt Skanks
I've always been a classy broad, except for that time I called a boy named Heratio.."Fellatio", but today I had to shed the nice girl mittens and bitch slap someone in the face. Ok, I didn't actually slap them, but I sound cooler when I say that. Two "not so slim" ladies <--take that lightly, brushed past me in the grocery store today and made some rather sordid remarks about my thin frame. As if the comments were not enough, the larger of the bawdy butt skanks subtley whacked me with her purse when she waddled past. It could have been accidental, but I'm guessing she meant to take her years of weight gain out on my arm with her homeade rucksack full of mini thins. The loggerhead then had the courage to turn around and say "Oh, sorry...didn't SEE you there.". So I said "So you're fat AND blind?" Now, I realize I earned myself a membership to the Skinny Bitches Of America Club with that comment, but did she or did she not bring it upon herself? She didn't have anything to say, so I'm guessing she came unprepared to our little battle of wits. The two snubbed me once more with the "look", all you women know what I'm talking about, and thankfully they went away.
On a lighter note, I was touched today (in a non-sexual way) when I read about two teens that started a Cell Phones For Soldiers program. "Through generous donations and the recycling of used cell phones from drop-off sites across the country, they have already distributed thousands of calling cards to soldiers in Iraq, Kuwait, Afghanistan, and elsewhere." Aww, why wasn't I that nice when I was 13? I was probably too busy wondering why my Ken doll didn't have a skin flute.
On a lighter note, I was touched today (in a non-sexual way) when I read about two teens that started a Cell Phones For Soldiers program. "Through generous donations and the recycling of used cell phones from drop-off sites across the country, they have already distributed thousands of calling cards to soldiers in Iraq, Kuwait, Afghanistan, and elsewhere." Aww, why wasn't I that nice when I was 13? I was probably too busy wondering why my Ken doll didn't have a skin flute.