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I'm at a point in my life where everything should be getting better. I got rid of the excess baggage that was weighing me down since November or so. I have moved on to better things. Seeing new people. Doing different things. Doing what I want. Acting responsibly. For some reason, I still don't feel content. Don't for a second think that it's because I miss what I had. I never had that. It was gone years ago. It was a crash dummy in a Vespa traveling 90 MPH into a brick wall from the start. No chance. I'm maturing. I know it. I can feel it. I just hate everything around me. This state makes me sick. The people I am dearest to are gone, and those who remain carry a weight ready to place over my chest and head every time I see them. I don't care to deal with that weight, so I won't. They both seem to be getting by alright with each other by themselves though... if that makes sense. It does. Shut the fuck up.
I am getting to the point where I am sick of waiting for anyone. I might like you a lot, we might be good friends, great friends, or just acquaintances. Either way, I'm getting sick of waiting for you to make up your mind while I sit and drink myself stupid on nights like this. I could have spent all day not worrying about who I was waiting to see later, or when that might be, or what might happen. I could have just done some drawings, worked on my crafts, gone over things that will make me a more solid personality in the future. Instead, I waste yet another day shitting away time until I get a call or a text from someone who can't seem to get the other leg over the goddamn fence. What the fuck. Shit or get off the fucking pot. One or the other. Either way, it doesn't matter a fucking bit to me. Everything needs to come easy now, or not come to me at all. That's the way I see things. It happens easily, or it just doesn't. So HAPPEN; OR DON'T. Thank you.
I'm at a point in my life where everything should be getting better. I got rid of the excess baggage that was weighing me down since November or so. I have moved on to better things. Seeing new people. Doing different things. Doing what I want. Acting responsibly. For some reason, I still don't feel content. Don't for a second think that it's because I miss what I had. I never had that. It was gone years ago. It was a crash dummy in a Vespa traveling 90 MPH into a brick wall from the start. No chance. I'm maturing. I know it. I can feel it. I just hate everything around me. This state makes me sick. The people I am dearest to are gone, and those who remain carry a weight ready to place over my chest and head every time I see them. I don't care to deal with that weight, so I won't. They both seem to be getting by alright with each other by themselves though... if that makes sense. It does. Shut the fuck up.
I am getting to the point where I am sick of waiting for anyone. I might like you a lot, we might be good friends, great friends, or just acquaintances. Either way, I'm getting sick of waiting for you to make up your mind while I sit and drink myself stupid on nights like this. I could have spent all day not worrying about who I was waiting to see later, or when that might be, or what might happen. I could have just done some drawings, worked on my crafts, gone over things that will make me a more solid personality in the future. Instead, I waste yet another day shitting away time until I get a call or a text from someone who can't seem to get the other leg over the goddamn fence. What the fuck. Shit or get off the fucking pot. One or the other. Either way, it doesn't matter a fucking bit to me. Everything needs to come easy now, or not come to me at all. That's the way I see things. It happens easily, or it just doesn't. So HAPPEN; OR DON'T. Thank you.