Fathers Day is nearly here...
Fathers Day is coming up and I've been thinking about what would be an appropriate gift for the man who is currently denying that you are his daughter in order to hurt your Mother while filing false statements to the courts.
I wish this was an angry rant but it is more hurt and confused.
It is even more ridiculous since I'm 26 and so the fact that he never paid child support while he was separated from my Mum is pretty irrelevant at this point.
His health has not been good for years and we having been putting up with a lot of horrible behaviour out of compassion but it really has come to the point where I can’t take anymore.
Funny how this has come up when my Mother and I have ended up being the last when it comes down to caring for him. His kids by his first wife haven’t been able to handle being around him, which really is understandable.
They make it harder on us when they believe his rubbish and spend their entire visits giving us dirty looks.
One of his other daughters that he had given a car refused to drive him anywhere after her first try because he upset her so much. I was the one who was left to take him to his appointments and to the shops and have to put up with him insulting the rest of the family all the way.
Mum had to take him to the Doctors because he would try to give the wrong information to her about his medications and then blame her if it was wrong.
I've been making excuses for him like that he is getting old and is bored and doesn’t have empathy so the things he finds entertaining are really hurtful to everyone else.
When he took out a false Domestic Violence Order against my Mum and tried to have it done behind her back it finally came clear to that hey, my Dad really is just a complete asshole.
Understand I had half expected him to maybe file for divorce given that he had run off with another women, but no first he has to make up a completely bogus and hurtful claim, and has continued to make up more and more as Mum has brought out proof against him.
He has even claimed that he has been living alone since 2007 and that Mum has just recently come back and started taking his things.
We had flooding in January 2011 and worked very hard to save as much stuff as possible and Dad has thrown that in our faces. I now regret everything of his I saved and especially regret saving his things before my own.
We did end up going and grabbing our stuff after we got this DVO because Dad had stated in it that everything was gone and he would have thrown our stuff out if he had the chance so that he could say it was true.
We tried to get people in to fix things so that Dad could move back in but he insisted on hiring a caravan so he could stay on site and would not agree let anyone fix the property.
I’ve basically given up on the idea of moving back in by now.
The only really good thing is that even though he has been convincing the neighbours and even the family Doctor to give false statements there is enough proof on paper to back up that these are untrue claims. It does make me pretty mad that the Doctor would do this as well because I had some expectations that a medical professional would be above making up these sorts of lies, presumably for some sort of monetary compensation.
I can only guess that money is involved because I can’t comprehend another reason to commit perjury. Doctors are just human like the rest of us, it’s just that I would not be willing to compromise my standards with the sort of rubbish that has been written about my Mother.
My Father once told me he would not put me in his will if I did not agree with him, and I told him that to imply that I was only hanging around for his money was the most horribly hurtful thing he could have said to me.
He has really dug himself into a hole with the number of falsehoods that he has put in writing and that has help alleviate some of the stress because nearly all of it can be proved wrong.
I don’t believe I can forgive him this time, which is pretty saddening for me because it is likely he will die soon. It sounds like now that he is with this new woman he is not taking the same medication and has gone downhill rapidly.
This woman does seem to be after him solely for his money and has apparently, this is what we heard from one of his other daughters, managed to already drain quite a bit of money out of him.
He has tried to claim that my Mother was greatly in debt when they met presumably to make sure she doesn’t get anything in settlement but at least this is another thing that can be disproved.
It just hurts a great deal that he would do this. There is some feeling of relief that I won’t have to put up with his verbal abuse anymore.
I have this fear that I will be expected to go back to caring for him after all this, because I don’t know who else will? Probably sounds strange, but I don’t think I can do it again. It’s not like he hasn’t claimed I wasn’t his daughter before, or had people throw out my things but I just don’t think I can cope with anymore.
When I was living with him all the time it made me want to die, and whenever I wanted to go out he kept coming up with “emergencies” which are apparently more important if you yell.
I thought class was stressing me, but now that I have some distance I’ve realised that he was always there to delay me when I was going to class and whenever there was an assignment due he always had to come first.
I’ve started to think I’m not completely hopeless and stupid, it makes me want to cry. Weird, I know. I’ve just been so tired.
Ok this got way more depressing than I meant it to be, I just felt that I needed to get this off my chest somewhere and at least here no one knows me.
Coming back to the original point I'm not sure what the appropriate response is to all this, it's just really strange to realise your own Dad is just a horrible person. Unfortunately I do still have some level of concern for him, but it would be really satisfying to send him something that expresses how I feel about this latest incident.
I did just have the thought that I could send him the papers for a DNA test and maybe one of those tongue depressors, in the past he has refused to have a DNA test done presumably because he wouldn’t be able to deny I’m his but if he wants to go to court it only seems appropriate that he fill one out.
If anyone has some other good suggestions they are welcome to share them.
I wish this was an angry rant but it is more hurt and confused.
It is even more ridiculous since I'm 26 and so the fact that he never paid child support while he was separated from my Mum is pretty irrelevant at this point.
His health has not been good for years and we having been putting up with a lot of horrible behaviour out of compassion but it really has come to the point where I can’t take anymore.
Funny how this has come up when my Mother and I have ended up being the last when it comes down to caring for him. His kids by his first wife haven’t been able to handle being around him, which really is understandable.
They make it harder on us when they believe his rubbish and spend their entire visits giving us dirty looks.
One of his other daughters that he had given a car refused to drive him anywhere after her first try because he upset her so much. I was the one who was left to take him to his appointments and to the shops and have to put up with him insulting the rest of the family all the way.
Mum had to take him to the Doctors because he would try to give the wrong information to her about his medications and then blame her if it was wrong.
I've been making excuses for him like that he is getting old and is bored and doesn’t have empathy so the things he finds entertaining are really hurtful to everyone else.
When he took out a false Domestic Violence Order against my Mum and tried to have it done behind her back it finally came clear to that hey, my Dad really is just a complete asshole.
Understand I had half expected him to maybe file for divorce given that he had run off with another women, but no first he has to make up a completely bogus and hurtful claim, and has continued to make up more and more as Mum has brought out proof against him.
He has even claimed that he has been living alone since 2007 and that Mum has just recently come back and started taking his things.
We had flooding in January 2011 and worked very hard to save as much stuff as possible and Dad has thrown that in our faces. I now regret everything of his I saved and especially regret saving his things before my own.
We did end up going and grabbing our stuff after we got this DVO because Dad had stated in it that everything was gone and he would have thrown our stuff out if he had the chance so that he could say it was true.
We tried to get people in to fix things so that Dad could move back in but he insisted on hiring a caravan so he could stay on site and would not agree let anyone fix the property.
I’ve basically given up on the idea of moving back in by now.
The only really good thing is that even though he has been convincing the neighbours and even the family Doctor to give false statements there is enough proof on paper to back up that these are untrue claims. It does make me pretty mad that the Doctor would do this as well because I had some expectations that a medical professional would be above making up these sorts of lies, presumably for some sort of monetary compensation.
I can only guess that money is involved because I can’t comprehend another reason to commit perjury. Doctors are just human like the rest of us, it’s just that I would not be willing to compromise my standards with the sort of rubbish that has been written about my Mother.
My Father once told me he would not put me in his will if I did not agree with him, and I told him that to imply that I was only hanging around for his money was the most horribly hurtful thing he could have said to me.
He has really dug himself into a hole with the number of falsehoods that he has put in writing and that has help alleviate some of the stress because nearly all of it can be proved wrong.
I don’t believe I can forgive him this time, which is pretty saddening for me because it is likely he will die soon. It sounds like now that he is with this new woman he is not taking the same medication and has gone downhill rapidly.
This woman does seem to be after him solely for his money and has apparently, this is what we heard from one of his other daughters, managed to already drain quite a bit of money out of him.
He has tried to claim that my Mother was greatly in debt when they met presumably to make sure she doesn’t get anything in settlement but at least this is another thing that can be disproved.
It just hurts a great deal that he would do this. There is some feeling of relief that I won’t have to put up with his verbal abuse anymore.
I have this fear that I will be expected to go back to caring for him after all this, because I don’t know who else will? Probably sounds strange, but I don’t think I can do it again. It’s not like he hasn’t claimed I wasn’t his daughter before, or had people throw out my things but I just don’t think I can cope with anymore.
When I was living with him all the time it made me want to die, and whenever I wanted to go out he kept coming up with “emergencies” which are apparently more important if you yell.
I thought class was stressing me, but now that I have some distance I’ve realised that he was always there to delay me when I was going to class and whenever there was an assignment due he always had to come first.
I’ve started to think I’m not completely hopeless and stupid, it makes me want to cry. Weird, I know. I’ve just been so tired.
Ok this got way more depressing than I meant it to be, I just felt that I needed to get this off my chest somewhere and at least here no one knows me.
Coming back to the original point I'm not sure what the appropriate response is to all this, it's just really strange to realise your own Dad is just a horrible person. Unfortunately I do still have some level of concern for him, but it would be really satisfying to send him something that expresses how I feel about this latest incident.
I did just have the thought that I could send him the papers for a DNA test and maybe one of those tongue depressors, in the past he has refused to have a DNA test done presumably because he wouldn’t be able to deny I’m his but if he wants to go to court it only seems appropriate that he fill one out.
If anyone has some other good suggestions they are welcome to share them.