To whom it may concern:

[sew_these_lips]

I know it took me a few days to come up with an answer that isn't based on lies and avoidance, but if you think I hadn't asked myself that same question over and over again in my mind then you're wrong. It only took this long because I, too, had to find the answer for myself. And now that I know the answer to your inquiries I know a lot more about why I do the things I do or don't do. I do it because I need stability and new starts, a way to cover past years, old scars, and old tears. I don't know why I seek out stability in the middle of an earthquake but it's what seems to work for me. And although it may seem bad through your eyes, I do it because it's the best I've ever had. I don't use your advice but I'll take it to heart and I'll pick it apart. I'll take your words that tore me down and analyze the things you said out of spite. I'll come up with the answers and build myself up to why I do what I do and why your advice and your opinions don't mean shit to me.

I had an epiphany just last night. I'm happy.
It hit me like a thousand watt lightning bolt, and I smiled. And I couldn't stop upon realizing that it's no one thing that has triggered this content feeling. It's my life, the whole package. For the first time I'm genuinely happy with my life. It's not a boy, or a new car, or a finished painting, or the night of a concert. It's everything.
For the first time I'm exactly where I want to be and am thankful for everything.

So I hope this answers your questions, I hope this is what you were looking for all along as well. With my happiness in mind, right? So please for me; not another word, about the choices I make or the mistakes you blame me for.