I got around to watching Twilight =D
I could be watching something that I know I'll like. I could be doing my term projects. I could be playing the used video games which I got for my cousins. But everyone knows true entertainment and productivity is laughing at the failure of others.
Points of interest:
-Chick playing Bella fails at acting, and she's still too good for her. I'm listening to her opening monologue and thinking "OMG SHE DOESN'T TALK AS HIGH AS A PICCOLO?! YOU'RE DOIN' MARY SUE WRONG, DIRECTOR."
-The vamps killed a deer. D= A poor innocent little (probably baby) deer. D= Has PETA filed a lawsuit yet?
-I love the sparkly, sqiggly title. =D So very appropriate.
-Jacob is fugly. And my God, why are his teeth so white? It bothers me. I just keep on staring at his teeth, wondering what kind of horrible acid he must have poured into his mouth to get it like that.
-I like how Bella just parks her truck in the middle of nowhere. There are parking lots, honey. You know, those places with white lines that are all PALE and BRIGHT like your marble friends?
-"Aren't people from Arizona supposed to be really tan?" "(insanely depressed voice) Yeah... Maybe.... That's why they kicked me out." WTF? That's not how you deliver a joke.
And rule of thumb when writing comedy: don't make the other characters laugh too hard at jokes. Because you look like a huge moron when the viewer doesn't think it's that funny.
-Yeah, uh.... Nice attempt at being original, but transfer students aren't popular. Especially not when they don't take initiative to get people to know them.
-The fan blows Bella's hair all dramatic like... And Edward suddenly looks like he wants to vomit. PRICELESS.
-Okay, the whole back and forth staring thing is creepy. It gives off WTF sexual tension vibes. Like the "don't you fucking dare tell my husband what we did last night, bastard, but let's do it again tonight" kind of sexual tension.
It's even creepier when it's just Edward staring. It's so stalkerish. I'd file for a restraining order immediately, hot guy with disgusting lipstick or not. I know they're going to say that it's because Edward can't read her mind and all that bull, but that's a sex offender look, not a "WTF is wrong with this chick" look.
-Okay... Bella hangs up on her mom, looks up, and we suddenly see a shot of Edward's sex offender look. O.O Scared the fuck out of me. Who needs to watch The Ring when you can watch about vampire rapists?
-"(in absolute monotone) I need to confront him. And demand to know what his problem was." Oh yeah; that's totally the tone of voice to use when talking about a stalker rapist. I love her acting. XD
-Edward sounds awkward when he introduces himself. Really awkward. His actor is British or something, right? I'm hoping the awkwardness is just him trying to do an American accent and not Edward failing in general. Because really, he's a psycho stalker rapist with, like, abandonment issues or something. He ain't got much else going for him aside from his "coolness". And then once she looks away, he keeps staring. O.O He scares me so much.
-The chemistry is so forced, it's unbelivable. They're just smiling at each other and being buddies in a really awkward, WAIT WUT way.
-Bella doesn't like "cold, wet things". So... No diamond penis?
-Edward does not get a hint. Bella tells him that she moved to Forks because of a complicated reason, and he says "I'm sure I can keep up." How can he be anti-social and not understand the concept of privacy?
-Edward asks Bella about her stepdad with his rapist eyes. O.O That's so freakin' creepy, if I haven't said that enough times.
And then he goes back to looking at the microscope and Bella starts breathing heavily. Like, "OMG HE JUST ASKED ME ABOUT MY STEPDAD WHILE TRYING TO FUCK ME WITH HIS EYES. I THINK I'M GOING TO CREAM MYSELF."
-Um. Am I the only one freaked out by a vampire working as a doctor....? At least he's not working at a blood bank: "FUCK YOU, LEUKEMIA KID; THIS IS MINE!"
-"Let's say for the sake of argument that I'm not smart." AHAHAHA. Oh, Bella, it's not for the sake of the argument. XD
-You know... The whole Edward reading mind things reminds me of Mao from Geass -- the way he can read every mind except one. However, Geass handles it so much better, with so much emphasis on what it is to be human and to love. Geass recognizes that Mao's love for C.C. is something that arose from the circumstances, and he has never truly, truly understood her and therefore has not truly loved her. Twilight just takes such a shallow OMG TRULUV; THEY R MENT 2 B.
-Dude... Why is he carrying her up the mountain at top speed? He's got an eternity to live, right? He can wait for her to get up by herself. And if he keeps on doing that, her quads are totally going to be atrophied.
-There are even sparkly sounds in the background. =DDD
And then I stopped watching because Jesus Christ; this is annoying.
Points of interest:
-Chick playing Bella fails at acting, and she's still too good for her. I'm listening to her opening monologue and thinking "OMG SHE DOESN'T TALK AS HIGH AS A PICCOLO?! YOU'RE DOIN' MARY SUE WRONG, DIRECTOR."
-The vamps killed a deer. D= A poor innocent little (probably baby) deer. D= Has PETA filed a lawsuit yet?
-I love the sparkly, sqiggly title. =D So very appropriate.
-Jacob is fugly. And my God, why are his teeth so white? It bothers me. I just keep on staring at his teeth, wondering what kind of horrible acid he must have poured into his mouth to get it like that.
-I like how Bella just parks her truck in the middle of nowhere. There are parking lots, honey. You know, those places with white lines that are all PALE and BRIGHT like your marble friends?
-"Aren't people from Arizona supposed to be really tan?" "(insanely depressed voice) Yeah... Maybe.... That's why they kicked me out." WTF? That's not how you deliver a joke.
And rule of thumb when writing comedy: don't make the other characters laugh too hard at jokes. Because you look like a huge moron when the viewer doesn't think it's that funny.
-Yeah, uh.... Nice attempt at being original, but transfer students aren't popular. Especially not when they don't take initiative to get people to know them.
-The fan blows Bella's hair all dramatic like... And Edward suddenly looks like he wants to vomit. PRICELESS.
-Okay, the whole back and forth staring thing is creepy. It gives off WTF sexual tension vibes. Like the "don't you fucking dare tell my husband what we did last night, bastard, but let's do it again tonight" kind of sexual tension.
It's even creepier when it's just Edward staring. It's so stalkerish. I'd file for a restraining order immediately, hot guy with disgusting lipstick or not. I know they're going to say that it's because Edward can't read her mind and all that bull, but that's a sex offender look, not a "WTF is wrong with this chick" look.
-Okay... Bella hangs up on her mom, looks up, and we suddenly see a shot of Edward's sex offender look. O.O Scared the fuck out of me. Who needs to watch The Ring when you can watch about vampire rapists?
-"(in absolute monotone) I need to confront him. And demand to know what his problem was." Oh yeah; that's totally the tone of voice to use when talking about a stalker rapist. I love her acting. XD
-Edward sounds awkward when he introduces himself. Really awkward. His actor is British or something, right? I'm hoping the awkwardness is just him trying to do an American accent and not Edward failing in general. Because really, he's a psycho stalker rapist with, like, abandonment issues or something. He ain't got much else going for him aside from his "coolness". And then once she looks away, he keeps staring. O.O He scares me so much.
-The chemistry is so forced, it's unbelivable. They're just smiling at each other and being buddies in a really awkward, WAIT WUT way.
-Bella doesn't like "cold, wet things". So... No diamond penis?
-Edward does not get a hint. Bella tells him that she moved to Forks because of a complicated reason, and he says "I'm sure I can keep up." How can he be anti-social and not understand the concept of privacy?
-Edward asks Bella about her stepdad with his rapist eyes. O.O That's so freakin' creepy, if I haven't said that enough times.
And then he goes back to looking at the microscope and Bella starts breathing heavily. Like, "OMG HE JUST ASKED ME ABOUT MY STEPDAD WHILE TRYING TO FUCK ME WITH HIS EYES. I THINK I'M GOING TO CREAM MYSELF."
-Um. Am I the only one freaked out by a vampire working as a doctor....? At least he's not working at a blood bank: "FUCK YOU, LEUKEMIA KID; THIS IS MINE!"
-"Let's say for the sake of argument that I'm not smart." AHAHAHA. Oh, Bella, it's not for the sake of the argument. XD
-You know... The whole Edward reading mind things reminds me of Mao from Geass -- the way he can read every mind except one. However, Geass handles it so much better, with so much emphasis on what it is to be human and to love. Geass recognizes that Mao's love for C.C. is something that arose from the circumstances, and he has never truly, truly understood her and therefore has not truly loved her. Twilight just takes such a shallow OMG TRULUV; THEY R MENT 2 B.
-Dude... Why is he carrying her up the mountain at top speed? He's got an eternity to live, right? He can wait for her to get up by herself. And if he keeps on doing that, her quads are totally going to be atrophied.
-There are even sparkly sounds in the background. =DDD
And then I stopped watching because Jesus Christ; this is annoying.