So Close!
Alllllmost made my 50-movies-in-2012 goal. SO CLOSE.
47. Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) - starring Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez
This fifth installment of the RE franchise was supposed to be a good one, at least based on my ever-so-logical formula (previously, the odd numbered films have been good; the even numbered films have sucked ass.) Unfortunately, now I see why this movie only lasted a week in my local theatre when it came out in September: it ignored the formula and sucked even though it’s an odd numbered installment. Jeeeez. The only time this movie succeeds is in its opening sequence, when a clone-Alice is living a happy suburban life with husband clone-Oded-Fehr (HI ODED, SO GREAT TO SEE YOU) and neighbor clone-Michelle-Rodgriguez (HI MICHELLE, YOU STILL LOOK AMAZING) until zombies attack. See, this is what zombie movies are supposed to do - they’re supposed to feature, you know, zombies. Then real-Alice wakes up and we discover she’s inexplicably in an Umbrella facility in Russia. She has to escape, but there’s an extraction team coming to help her (with also inexplicably contains Boris Kodjoe from the last film) - the gang travels through “plague simulations” of New York, Moscow, etc. And it’s BORING. There’s a giant mutant with an exposed brain, and these two big mutant dudes with scythes, and at one point there appear to be zombies in WWII regalia riding motorcycles and firing machine guns and I really really REALLY wanted to stop watching but Milla is kickass and totally my I Would Go Gay For Her girlfriend, so. And then it ends with somebody telling Alice that they need her to help them win this war with the zombies/mutants/whateverthefuck (or something, I was zoning out by then) and honestly, this whole thing just ignores the fact that in movie 3 it was already established that the T-virus not only reanimates the dead but also destroys all life and the world is basically turning into/had turned into a giant desert *breath* and I just want even a popcorn movie to follow it’s own internal logic and MAKE SENSE, okay? Stupid movie.
48. Paul (2011) - starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jason Bateman
Aaaand Pegg & Frost redeem themselves and get back into my good graces with this awesome little movie. Simon and Nick play a couple of nerds at their first San Diego Comic Con. They’re happy just basking in the sights and then going on their own personal tour of famous alien landmarks such as Area 51 and the Black Mailbox, when they come across an actual alien - a sarcastic, profane, little green dude called Paul who’s being pursued by government agents led by Jason Bateman. Bonds are forged, lessons are learned, and love is even found (no, not between Paul and the boys.) Love love love the humour in this. (And I think I may have a bit of a crush on Nick Frost, not gonna lie.)
49. Run Fatboy Run (2007) - starring Simon Pegg, Thandie Newton, Hank Azaria
Despite the fact that Pegg is not in fact “fat” (as he points out, he’s “out of shape”) this is an enjoyable little film. Simon left his pregnant fiancée Thandie at the alter five years before, and has basically been regretting it ever since. Now he has a chance to prove to her that he can finish what he starts, by running in a long-distance marathon. Yes, it’s filled with clichés, but I think it works because all of the characters feel “real”. And I got teary-eyed at the end of yet another film. I should have been taking a tally.
That was fun. And it did make me watch a lot of those movies that I get and then never have time for. I think I'll try it again in 2013 -- and this time I'll make it to 50. :)
It's 3 hours from New Years Eve here, so I should shower and get ready for work. I'll be answering taxi phones & spending my night wanting to strangle all the drunk people making sure everyone gets home safe and sound.
Thank you, my flist, for all your awesomeness in 2012. Thank you for letting me share your joys and sorrows. All the best to all of you for 2013!
.
47. Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) - starring Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez
This fifth installment of the RE franchise was supposed to be a good one, at least based on my ever-so-logical formula (previously, the odd numbered films have been good; the even numbered films have sucked ass.) Unfortunately, now I see why this movie only lasted a week in my local theatre when it came out in September: it ignored the formula and sucked even though it’s an odd numbered installment. Jeeeez. The only time this movie succeeds is in its opening sequence, when a clone-Alice is living a happy suburban life with husband clone-Oded-Fehr (HI ODED, SO GREAT TO SEE YOU) and neighbor clone-Michelle-Rodgriguez (HI MICHELLE, YOU STILL LOOK AMAZING) until zombies attack. See, this is what zombie movies are supposed to do - they’re supposed to feature, you know, zombies. Then real-Alice wakes up and we discover she’s inexplicably in an Umbrella facility in Russia. She has to escape, but there’s an extraction team coming to help her (with also inexplicably contains Boris Kodjoe from the last film) - the gang travels through “plague simulations” of New York, Moscow, etc. And it’s BORING. There’s a giant mutant with an exposed brain, and these two big mutant dudes with scythes, and at one point there appear to be zombies in WWII regalia riding motorcycles and firing machine guns and I really really REALLY wanted to stop watching but Milla is kickass and totally my I Would Go Gay For Her girlfriend, so. And then it ends with somebody telling Alice that they need her to help them win this war with the zombies/mutants/whateverthefuck (or something, I was zoning out by then) and honestly, this whole thing just ignores the fact that in movie 3 it was already established that the T-virus not only reanimates the dead but also destroys all life and the world is basically turning into/had turned into a giant desert *breath* and I just want even a popcorn movie to follow it’s own internal logic and MAKE SENSE, okay? Stupid movie.
48. Paul (2011) - starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jason Bateman
Aaaand Pegg & Frost redeem themselves and get back into my good graces with this awesome little movie. Simon and Nick play a couple of nerds at their first San Diego Comic Con. They’re happy just basking in the sights and then going on their own personal tour of famous alien landmarks such as Area 51 and the Black Mailbox, when they come across an actual alien - a sarcastic, profane, little green dude called Paul who’s being pursued by government agents led by Jason Bateman. Bonds are forged, lessons are learned, and love is even found (no, not between Paul and the boys.) Love love love the humour in this. (And I think I may have a bit of a crush on Nick Frost, not gonna lie.)
49. Run Fatboy Run (2007) - starring Simon Pegg, Thandie Newton, Hank Azaria
Despite the fact that Pegg is not in fact “fat” (as he points out, he’s “out of shape”) this is an enjoyable little film. Simon left his pregnant fiancée Thandie at the alter five years before, and has basically been regretting it ever since. Now he has a chance to prove to her that he can finish what he starts, by running in a long-distance marathon. Yes, it’s filled with clichés, but I think it works because all of the characters feel “real”. And I got teary-eyed at the end of yet another film. I should have been taking a tally.
That was fun. And it did make me watch a lot of those movies that I get and then never have time for. I think I'll try it again in 2013 -- and this time I'll make it to 50. :)
It's 3 hours from New Years Eve here, so I should shower and get ready for work. I'll be answering taxi phones & spending my night wanting to strangle all the drunk people making sure everyone gets home safe and sound.
Thank you, my flist, for all your awesomeness in 2012. Thank you for letting me share your joys and sorrows. All the best to all of you for 2013!
.