My Favourite "Live Free or Die Hard" Fics
Back in January, I decided that I was tired of scrambling back through comm posts or trying to remember where I read a particular DH fic that I love and had forgotten to bookmark. So I started systematically going through all the sources of DH fic I could think of -- the hard4brains and smallfandomfest comms, AO3, all the porn battles, etc. -- and this time I bookmarked all my faves, along with a few fanvids and icon/screencap posts. And I made a backup to my bookmarks on my LJ.
There ended up being around 150 bookmarks. Wow!
So I figured I would share the fruits of my labours. So here are my definitive Die Hard Faves, listed alphabetically by author. :)
**Fixed broken links. Added six new links. 01-06-2012
**Fixed broken links and noted missing/purged fic. 08-15-2021
Aibari
1. We Save Our Worst Ideas For Last
The first attack Matt Farrell sees is in front of a sandwich shop in Harlem.
AlexandriaBrown
1. First
“I didn’t think, it wasn’t right,” Matt sucked in a shaky breath. “I didn’t think it was right to kiss her while I was thinking it was you.”
Artangst
1. Awkward
McClane’s hand seems to come out of nowhere and land on his shoulder with a thump, keeping him where he is. “This one,” McClane starts, his words icy and measured. “Is important because I know him.”
Cala
1. Fix It, or McClane Scale of Annoyance
“There are two guys at my desk, waving some email at me - that I apparently sent them - and demanding to know what I did to my computer.”
Matt’s brain immediately classified John’s tone of voice as “I would kill you with my pinkie, but you’re too far away” on the McClane Scale of Annoyance, which automatically made Matt pay attention.
CC62827
1. Chucking the Metaphor
Christ, not that again. “I told you, Kid. Heroes eat alone.” Then just in case there was still enough morphine in his system to make Matt miss the context clues, John grabbed the remote and turned up the volume.
Chase65
1. Aftermath
There had been a threat and he’d neutralized it. Black and white. Move on. He didn’t do aftermaths.
Dira Sudis
1. The One You're With
Matt looks up, grinning, and says, "You got me bamboo? Happy Thursday?"
2. Pulling The Thorn
He's looked up all John's old press, and this is ringing a faint bell, one of those human interest anecdotes out of the whole Nakatomi thing. John McClane defeated twelve terrorists barefoot. Matt remembers adding uphill, in the snow, on Christmas! to that in his head, in a state of slightly hysterical awe. He never thought about this part of it.
3. National Pastime
"Nothing like the upper deck at Shea in July," McClane said, in a hearty, two-working-legs, not-even-wearing-a-sling-anymore kind of voice that made Matt want to punch him a little bit. Not in the gunshot wound or anything, but still.
Elayna88
1. Untitled
He'd done all this before, but it was easier this time, simpler with Matt. - No longer public
Flora
1. Upgrade
"Look, I don't know why you're being such a complete Luddite about this. Seriously, it's stable, it's easy, and I can teach you whatever you want to know. Open source, so you're not paying for corporate bullshit, you know, so it's like abandoning the Wal-Mart bakery in exchange for apple pies made straight from the heart of Great-Aunt Edwina, and--"
Flurblewig
1. Options to Explore
He runs his hand over his head. Is he seriously thinking about this? Thinking about the kid--about Farrell... Matt... in an Option C kind of way? Thinking about what it would feel like to wind his fist into that ridiculous hair, to slide his hand under those stupid Sci Fi t-shirts, to pull down the zipper of those insanely tight jeans. To crush that mouth against his own, to lick that pale skin: taste beer and sweat and that indefinable sense of maleness that he barely remembers. Hard muscles under his hand, hard body against his, hard cock heavy and hot in his hand. Or silky and smooth in his mouth, or stretching and so filling in his...
Fools_Game
1. Shut Up
It becomes a kind of game, after that. Getting Matt to talk himself in circles, to become agitated, to trip over his words, to work himself up. A casual “I saw this thing on Fox News last night,” is good for a half-hour of sputtering rage and increasingly incoherent diatribe.
Gemjam
1. Coda
Halfway through the meal, McClane reaches across the table and touches the end of the ribbon on Matt's wrist, giving a little tug. "Hey, what's with this?
2. Different Names for the Same Thing
Matt puts food in John's fridge but forgets to eat. He rents movies but never watches them. He puts clothes in the washing machine but forgets to turn it on.
3. Residue
John's body is warm against his, and the kiss feels so good, but now that Matt's this close again, he can smell the gunpowder, that slightly singed scent lodging in his nostrils.
4. Learning Curve
"Shut the hell up with that talk, kid," McClane growled at him, kissing him firmly on the lips. Matt kissed back, feeling himself melt into it. McClane pulled back, his lips skimming Matt's cheek as he went for his ear again, sucking on the lobe. "You tell me to stop, I'll stop," he said, his voice dark and low.
Gixi
1. Road Rage
Matt raised his eyebrows. "Really? You don't think it means anything that the first thing that comes to mind when you're pissed at another driver is to call him a cocksucker?"
Gloriana
1. Untitled
Crawling through ventilation systems was not his favourite thing, McClane thought, but it beat being shot to death or suffocated, both of which the guys chasing after them had had in mind.
2. Untitled
And maybe McClane only noticed it because he felt the gap at his own side so sharply: Matt at home, spending the time playing video games in their darkened bedroom, alone.
Hackthis
1. The Height of Technology is Frozen Pizza
The second time Matt calls McClane is because he won some pool at the local pub and has tickets to see the Rangers. Matt's not really into sports that aren't played with a Wii, but McClane's a man's man, he must like things like hockey. McClane must like things like getting dirty and sweaty and filthy and eating really fattening food and maybe getting smeared all --
This time, Matt has to hang up after the second ring because all the blood has left his brain.
2. Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before
John smiles broadly. "Did you know there are pot brownies in the fridge?"
Halfshellvenus
1. Aftershock
Anyone with sense would have backed away in embarrassment, which was why Matt was surprised to find himself suddenly kissing John like his life depended on it. Even more surprising was the way John moaned in response, and kissed him back every bit as hard.
2. Reeling
It wasn't just the danger or the relief coursing through him that got Matt flustered and sped up his heart.
3. Number 01 With A Bullet
"Gun training, kid," John answered, grinning broadly, the relief visible on his face. "And I'm going to teach you."
4. Subtextual Valentines
Gathering Matt's hand into both of his own, John bends down and nibbles the edges of Matt's fingers before eating a small part of the candy. Matt inhales sharply, but doesn't pull back, which is a very good sign.
5. Better Late Than Never
"Hacker Hero Tames Technology," whatever the hell that meant. All John really noticed was the blue shirt that looked really good on the kid, and the floppy hair/big smile/bigger eyes that had him grinning back at the cover as if Matt himself had just walked back in through John's front door.
Healingmirth
1. Untitled
They barely made it through the door to the hotel room before Matt turned around again and grabbed hold of John’s tie, loosening the knot enough to get to the button at John’s collar.
2. Give and Take
The best - the absolute best - thing about morning sex is a John McClane that no one else gets to see.
3. any tool is a weapon if you hold it right
It's a point of pride with him that he uses his strength as a tool, not a weapon, in his normal life. So he's not happy about whatever double standard he has in his head that is tangled up between men and women and one-night stands and whatever this is, where he can bruise Matt on a regular basis and not even notice.
4. something to believe in
"You don't even have to - look, I got a hotel room for the reunion so I wouldn't have to find my way home after the staggering amount of booze I'm going to need to get through the rest of this weekend. You can hang out there, order room service, watch tv. Just please help me get through this. I'll do whatever you want."
5.John McClane Can Slam A Revolving Door
Part One of the Revolving Door series
McClane's suspicion had been enough to pull Matt back from the brink of his message-board addiction, but he still felt like he needed to come clean about at least some of it so he could face McClane with a clear conscience.
6. Shifting Out of Neutral
Part Two of the Revolving Door series
He thinks that he can give Matt this. He used to be fucking fantastic at dating, before the kids and the job that felt more like his life than his actual life did. The music at the dance may have changed a bit since the last time, but he still knows the steps.
7. It Ain't Me
Part Three of the Revolving Door series
The idea of John McClane, undercover cop, is ridiculous.
8. Boys in Blue
Part Four of the Revolving Door series
Matt turns away in his fidgeting, and John nearly loses his quiet words to the city noise outside. "I just don't want to wonder if I'm going to be welcome at your funeral."
9. I'll Be Home For Christmas
Part Five of the Revolving Door series
"I told you we were meeting my dad and his partner for dinner. You knew there were going to be four of us. You even made the reservation."
"Yeah, but he's a cop. I thought you meant partner, not, you know, partner."
10. Expulsis Piratis, Restituta Commercia
"They make these things called ships, and they do this thing with them called shipping. It involves transporting goods from one region to another. Perhaps you've heard of it."
Hope
1. Smokin' Cigarettes and Watchin' Captain Kangaroo
The kiss is brief. Because that's what it was, a kiss, the voice in Jack's head reiterates, in a tone more of earnest befuddlement than its usual sarcasm, and when Jack opens his eyes again his Dad's gone from view, Matt closing the apartment door and walking out of the TV's frame without even glancing in Jack's direction.
Iniq
1. pose in the murderer's shadow
"Look, if anyone did that to my boyfriend, I'd want to know who did it," McClane said then, laying his hands on the table, flat and with the palms up, as if inviting a confession.
2. to find themselves tricked
At the door, McClane turned around and looked at the kid. "He's here to help you, alright? He's one of the good guys."
Jasmasson
1. Chuck Norris and John McClane walk into a bar...
John considered himself to be a stoic man - a man’s man. One who expressed emotions by grunts, and manly slaps on the back, and - at most - whispers in his sweetheart’s ear. But if Lucy didn’t stop crying soon, John was going to join her.
Kita0610
1. On The Mating Habits of Middle-Aged Action Heroes
Matt’s hair is a mess; it covers most his face, like always. Like always, John feels the itch in his palm to brush it back. And John is sort of drunk, so he does.
Lalejandra
1. The Time Between Living and Dying
Claire doesn't leave a note or anything, but he hears only four days later the message "This is Claire Redfield's convoy, broadcasting for any survivors. Is there anybody out there?" So she made it, and found actual people, and he only misses her a little.
2. All Things Being Equal, I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia
Nothing since the moment Holly turned, her hair blowing and her eyes wide, and John realized that he had to spend the rest of his life with her, has anything scared the shit out of him more than Farrell's stupid sweet sleepy smile. - No longer posted
Lamardeuse
1. Always A Bridesmaid
They'd been doing this - whatever this was - for about a month now. Usually, Matt invited John over for dinner, or came over to John's and cooked something, and they ended up in bed, or in the shower, or against the wall, or (one really memorable time) on the dining room table. John was starting to associate sex with food so strongly that sometimes he got a hard on while eating his lunch at the station, which was not all that conducive to effective police work.
2. Life, Mid-Crisis
Part One of the Life, Mid-Crisis series
"Okay, sorry, and I cook, and I lift weights, and I know what wine to buy, but I don't have the balls to call you on the goddamned phone like I've been dying to for mo - "
3. From A Rut To A Groove
Part Two of the Life, Mid-Crisis series
"Hey, hey," Matt soothes, holding him just as tightly, "you didn't think I'd give up on you that easy, did you?"
John shakes his head, but maybe they both know he's lying, because he feels Matt press a kiss to his ear, his temple, his cheek, reassurances branded into his skin.
4. Interlude No.1, or In-Laws in D Flat Major
Conclusion of the Life, Mid-Crisis series
Now, though, it hits him that it's been too easy, way too easy, and there's a reason for that: it hasn't even occurred to her that her baby boy might have hooked up with John McClane, fiftyish, balding cop. In fact, she's made a perfectly logical assumption, given the fact that she's been introduced to two men tonight, one who's approximately her son's age, and one who's approximately her own. Add to that the fact that Matt and John have both kept the PDAs off today's menu and it all makes sense.
Lizzypaul
1. Aftermath
“I...” Matt started, then twisted up and kissed John. It was barely a kiss, a brief touch of lips, before Matt was scooting back in his seat, eyes wide, hand going for his door handle. “Ohmygodpleasedon’tkillme,” he mumbled.
2. Affirmation
Sequel to Aftermath
John. Now there was something he could write about.
Lucylooo
1. Shift
He brought the beer into the bedroom, stripping out of his leather jacket, kicking off his boots, and pulling free his belt. There was a dark lump on the other side of the bed that moved when he sat down on his side, heavily. After a moment, it made a noise.
2. Blue Light
John McClane sat in his car for a good five minutes before he mustered the strength to turn it on. It had been a long day - the three-borough chain-reaction blackout had necessitated that all available officers remain on active duty to deal with the emergency, so, after pulling a ten-hour shift, he'd stayed on another eight to help out. At least he'd managed not to get stuck with traffic detail. The shield had to have some advantages.
Lunabee34
1. The One Where Matt Farrell Is Most Certainly Not Sleeping With John McClane (not even a little)
“Life is not a wet dream, Frederick. It’s not even a B movie. Guys like McClane don’t fuck guys like me. Ever.”
2. Occam Never Met John McClane
"There's a fresh razor in the medicine cabinet," McClane says, his voice rough and gravelly. He bows his head, and Matt drags the blade across the curve of McClane's skull, warm pink skin left in its wake. Matt runs a finger over that strip of exposed skin, and McClane shivers at his touch. Matt's half-hard, has been since McClane said okay, but that little shudder, that soft noise that McClane makes in the back of his throat when Matt touches him-they nearly make him come in his pants.
3. New Paths to Helicon, Pt. 2, or How Matt Farrell Finally Got into John McClane's Levis
"What is your damage, Farrell?" she says as soon as Matt picks up. "Forty seven messages in two weeks? Seriously?" She pauses for Matt to say something but he's always had trouble talking while hyperventilating. "You owe me the ass-kissing of the century for this one. Dad asked me to bring in his mail while he was gone so I was there for at least thirteen of your psycho check-ins. But don't worry. I deleted them all last night before he got home. Your little man crush is safe with me."
4. Waist Deep and Sinking
"You know what, McClane? I don't even care anymore if you know." Matt flings himself into the far corner of the elevator and flattens himself up against the fabric covered walls. "You have got to stop touching me, man. It's driving me crazy. I know you don't mean anything by it, but you gotta cut that shit out. I can't take it anymore."
5. Coming Home
Matt's not that guy. He's really not, no matter what McClane said. Staying alive is a very special motivator, and saving McClane, saving Lucy-that was just another kind of saving his own ass. So how he ends up here on the floor of Citibank watching his blood sink into the carpet, Matt doesn't exactly know.
Megyal
1. Stock and Barrel
Handcuffs, Matt had said and his gaze had been so intent, even if he had sounded so careless. Handcuffs. They're hot.
2. Love, at dinner
"Maybe we should disown him," Martin suggested and this pulled an amused hiccup out of Anne, even as she dabbed at her eyes. No matter how shrill they had gotten at each other behind the closed door of their bedroom, they really had the same sense of humour. Martin still had the knack of making her laugh.
3. He goes to (he goes left)
"And sleeping in the same bed as you?" Jack threw in, half-jokingly... then it turned to a sick sort of horror when, without answering, his father took the black pepper from Lucy and shook out some of the contents into the bowl of chicken, motions tight and intent. "No way. No. Way."
4. Working Progress
Foster appeared as if he was swallowing a very large and bitter pill. "That's his... his boyfriend."
5. Three to Tango
"Holly," he breathed out, more to himself than anything else; she looked different from the family-photo John still kept on a shelf over the television, with her hair less curly and faint lines at the corners of her eyes.
6. The Art of Falling (without breaking your neck)
"I'm a total virgin with this dude-sex thing," he blurted and John, caught in the middle of a moan, stopped short and blinked at him. "Yeah, I... okay, this dick in my hand? That's not my dick? I've never done this before. And, and. You've done this before, you're like, a professional at the sex with dudes and I'm just warning you that I'm not. Good at it, not good at the sex thing, because I haven't done it before. With girls, yeah... not with Lucy! God, no, with other girls. So, I--"
7. Thicker Than Water
"Your fucking sister called again," Matt muttered into his pillow, back turned to John.
John wrinkled his brow. "That's why the phone's fucked. See, the trick with her is you have to hang up right after she says hello."
8. Have Mercy on an Old Man
"No, seriously." Matt grinned at him as if John had said this out loud, and he looked like all his evil plans, whatever they were, had come to fruition. "I'm hungry for you. Totally addicted, you have no idea." His face took on a considering expression. "Sometimes I worry if you can handle me, since you're kind of ancient and all."
9. And then along came John (or, Five Times McClane Saved Daisy Duke)
"Oh, hi there," Matt greeted him weakly as the last bit of rubble was removed. His face was streaked in dust and he looked as if he'd gone a week in the Sahara; but as John hauled him out and steadied him on his feet, his grip on John's forearm was like a clamp. "Shit, I lost like fifty lines of code."
10. Get Some of This
Lots of folks weren't aware of this new development about Matt; they looked at him and thought he continued to be that same easy-going dude, and for the most part he was, except... except, recently, he had discovered he was a raging monster when it came to John McClane.
11. So Good in Blue
He pulled out the dark-navy suit and hung it up, studiously not looking in Matt's direction as the kid came back into the room, a towel wrapped low on his hips. He tried not to make it look as if he was trying to escape in the bathroom, and took the coldest shower he could. Coming back out, he stopped short, for Matt was over there fondling his dress-blues.
12. The Story of McClane's Life
"Did he come with anybody?" John asked, too casually, but Lucy's eyes suddenly sharpened; Holly turned around and directed an identical stare in his direction. John stuffed more pie in his mouth.
13. Who Waits Forever, Anyway
John had found the kid in a small bodega, eyes huge and wild as he popped up over the counter and waved a spray-can of something in John's direction. There was a small cigarette lighter in his other hand, the flame trembling. John, who had broken in to see if he could get some stuff, raised his hands slowly, looking the kid steadily in the eyes.
14. Those Who Wait
"Are you going to take off your shirt?" McClane asked. "I've been wasting time for about four years, I'm kind of in a hurry here."
Morphinelovexx
1. Exclusion
The way McClane had his spread hand resting on the small of Matt's back irked him. The way Matt didn't seem to notice made him absolutely fucking nuts.
Niektete
1. Banging His *No, Not Head* Against The Wall
“But I don't want to wait until we get home,” John says, pulling Matt into his arms to kiss him. “I want it now. Come on, Matt, I want you right now.”
Permetaform
1. Accustomed
A nice easy morning.
Which is of course when their street explodes; leading to a series of unfortunate events that includes a motorcycle, an airplane, a tank, a stadium, the entire New York Stock Exchange being held for ransom, and a very confused buffalo.
Persnickett
Just check out everything she's written here: Master List
Petwritings
1. Situation Normal
“Yeah, I know.” There’s a little edge to that voice, a note of hysteria that’s strangely familiar. “I secured the line, it makes the connection shitty. Listen, hey, I’d love to catch up, but I kind of have this problem right now, and I know I said I wouldn’t bother you anymore, but I think someone’s trying to kill me.”
Poisontaster
Die Hard Master List here
Quiet_Tiger
1. Good Idea, Bad Idea
Fooling around in the backseat of his car had been a horrible, awful idea.
Rivestra
1. Harmless Crank Calls and Other Death-Defying Acts
"I didn't call you," he repeats, deadpan, calm. "I called McClane's room."
Romanticalgirl
1. WAD Files
** Must be logged in at the Archive to view
Matt flicks his gaze down to John's fingers and his lips part. No sound comes out, like the question's caught in his throat, so John leans in and kisses him, keeping him from saying a word. John groans at the contact, all the images he tries to keep at bay when he's alone in his bed and desperate for some kind of relief, some oblivion crashing in on him as he slides his tongue into Matt's mouth.
Saekokato
1. Pixie Dust
"Fucking perfect," he mutters under his breath. His apartment is across town, and he can't even grab a cab. He sure as hell ain't walking there, wouldn't have even if there hadn't been a Storm rising - some neighborhoods took exception to stray Pixies running about. And Matt takes exception to being squashed like a bug.
Salieri
1. Pretty Little Death Song: Five Ways Matt Farrell Died
NOT deathfic.
As it turned out, Thomas Gabriel had friends. Big ones who lived in penthouses and Washington brownstones, and who had long memories and a lot of patience.
2. I Fly
Matt has stopped pointing him out, mostly because the first five times he tried, by the time John turned to look, the Human Fly was gone. The last couple of times John didn't bother looking up from his newspaper or away from the TV. Instead he just grunted in that way that meant, "Yeah, kid. Human Fly. Got it." - purged journal
Scaramouche
1. Statute of Limitations
“It’s fucking tiring to be on my back all the time, too!” John damn near shouts. He glares down at his right leg, but the cast hasn’t disappeared since the last time he’d checked. “Fuck.”
2. Sometimes It's Like This
Their teeth click as John insistently presses their mouth together, and it's easy to read the frustration in him that's just on the edge of dangerous. Matt's a little frightened, a little thrilled, a lot turned on and perilously close to coming when John breaks the zipper in getting Matt's pants open.
3. Kink For Great Justice
Matt’s voice has a whole new timbre to it, smooth and tight like the knots now holding John’s hands in place. John shuts his eyes and sends his mind to a familiar place. He’s never used it in a situation like this, but it’s a well-worn suit, comfortable and easy to pull on. He opens his eyes and he’s right there.
4. Affirmation on the 23rd Floor
“Thank you! Thank you for saving my sorry fucking ass!” Matt can’t seem to stop shouting. “Again! I don’t know if I have enough time in the world to thank you every single time this happens! Maybe I should just print Thank You Cards in bulk and throw them at you whenever the occasion comes up!”
5. Folded Spaces
“Now you got to make me prove that we still have enough kitchen space,” John says, deft hands tugging Matt’s shirt out from his pants. “Ain’t that right, kid?”
6. Orbits, Drift
John settles into the chair next to Matt’s bed, easy as anything. The smattering handiwork of stitches and bandages across his person look inadequate, because Matt had been there to witness the abuse sustained by this particular human body, and there’s no way that *this* is all that John’s got to walk away with.
John has to be, like, a secret government cyborg, or something.
7. Heroes Never Die (Except When They Do)
What Matt doesn’t expect is John showing up the following Wednesday to start haunting him.
8. Absolute Horizon
Sequel to "Orbits, Drift"
“Ground rules,” Matt says. “No sex in my mom’s house.”
9. You Better Watch Out
Part One of the John McClane Is An Asshole series
And Matt was sure that McClane was focused on the game, until he (McClane, that is, not Matt) stretched, noisily working out a crick in his neck, then let the arm not attached to his beer fall oh-so-casually behind Matt’s shoulders.
10. You Better Not Cry
Part Two of the John McClane Is An Asshole series
“Your father hit on me.”
11. You Better Not Pout (I'm Telling You Why)
Part Three of the John McClane Is An Asshole series
“No, I really don’t,” Matt says, voice trembling only a teensy weensy bit. “Why don’t you tell me what your intentions are?”
12. He's Making A List
Part Four of the John McClane Is An Asshole series
“This is the part where I declare myself,” John says. He turns slowly, making a show of taking in the cramped space of Matt’s apartment. “Since you don’t have any parents, I guess I’ll have to cut out the middle man."
Sullacat
1. Epiphany
At one point Matt pulled back, looking up at John with shining eyes, happy but definitely confused. He opened his mouth to say something, and John prepared himself a barrage of questions. He was surprised when Matt quietly whispered, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” - deleted journal
Svilleficrecs
1. WPM
This thing that happened - that is happening between them - John hasn't got a name for it, but he really likes it.
2. Context
Matthew visits John's precinct and as he waits for 'Detective McClane' to wrap up, he stares at the pair of handcuffs that rest on the corner of John's cluttered desk.
3. The Walking Wounded
The next time John sees the kid it's the end of August, almost two months after everything goes down. He's back in DC for one of those things where you gotta wear a suit and tell a bunch of people in suits stuff you already told a bunch of other people in suits. He figures the kid might be there, figures he'll probably shave and look about fourteen. The thought makes John smile.
Tigerlady
1. How Enos Finally Caught Daisy (Or, Possibly, The Other Way Around)
"Hey, I'm sorry," Matt says, and adrenaline floods John's system, sending him for his gun before he's got the blankets all the way off, "but I just had to... I mean, it just hit me out of the blue. I killed two guys."
Torakowalski
1. And I’ll Stay Right Here
Matt's cock twitches, moving against John's restraining thigh and god, god, shit, fuck, now is not a good time for this particular little kink of Matt's to wake up and take notice.
2. Just That Simple Thing
"Daisy Duke, did you break into my house today?" John's voice was extra rumbly when he was pissed. Matt didn't find that hot. Not at all.
3. Mr Rock and Roll
When John comes around, it's to a familiar softwetwarm feeling, and his first thought is Holly. Except, unless things have changed a lot in the three years since he's seen her, Holly doesn't have stubble, and that's weird enough to drag him all the way awake.
Torra
1. Good Thing Going
"I told you, I don't do California anymore."
2. Great To See You (Now Go Away)
"John fucking McClane." Zeus groaned loudly as the doors to the hallway were flung open, an older, bald man striding though, limping hard on the plaster cast around his left leg, a kid in his late twenties trailing behind him. "McClane, what the hell are you doing here?"
3. Self-Inflicted
The gun dug more sharply into his neck, pushing into his jugular. Matt groaned and looked towards John, still tied up and bloody in the chair. John shook his head, "Don't you dare, kid."
4. Potatoes: Thanksgiving in Three Acts
"Just remember that if anyone tries to blow up the bridge or something, just shoot them and hurry on home, no stopping to linger with witty comments before you wrap things up...
Utopian Trunks
1. That Guy
After the Fire Sale, Matt has nowhere to go and crashes at John's place. John gets to know sides of Matt he never guessed at during their adventure on the 4th of July, and starts to like not having to eat alone.
2. His Space
Sequel to That Guy
Matt yanks the headset off and lobs it across his desk, upsetting a cupful of pens and a stack of CD jewel cases. He swings around in his chair, looks up at John with huge, brown eyes, pupils dilated, his rapid breathing visible in the rise and fall of his chest. "You can't just go, now," he says, and there's an edge of desperation to his, "John."
3. Point B
Sequel to His Space
Instead, his heart was hammering so hard he felt lightheaded, there was heat unfurling in his stomach that had nothing to do with overcrowding, and he was so desperately hard it hurt, right there on the N, surrounded by dozens of other commuters... who couldn't touch him because the wide back and strong arms of John McClane formed an impenetrable wall between them.
4. Taking Names
Sequel to Point B
What he hadn't gotten over, it seemed, was his fear of other people flying, especially if they were doing so without him, especially if they happened to be Matthew Farrell.
5. Poster Boy
Sequel to Taking Names
John awoke feeling like his sinuses were filled in with concrete, he'd been swallowing Brillo pads all night, and his chest was a size too small for his internal organs.
Bruce Willis Icons
1. by lamardeuse
DH Icons
1. by Utopiantrunks
2. by Farferello
3. by Runningtoyou
4. by Salieri - purged journal
5. by lil_coyote
6. here and here -- by atlantisgrrrl - no longer public
7. by sasskitten - deleted journal
8. by healingmirth (205 icons, all four movies!)
9. by lil_coyote (Christmas Icons)
DH Screencaps
1. here and here -- by healingmirth
McClane Info
1. John's service info
.
There ended up being around 150 bookmarks. Wow!
So I figured I would share the fruits of my labours. So here are my definitive Die Hard Faves, listed alphabetically by author. :)
**Fixed broken links. Added six new links. 01-06-2012
**Fixed broken links and noted missing/purged fic. 08-15-2021
Aibari
1. We Save Our Worst Ideas For Last
The first attack Matt Farrell sees is in front of a sandwich shop in Harlem.
AlexandriaBrown
1. First
“I didn’t think, it wasn’t right,” Matt sucked in a shaky breath. “I didn’t think it was right to kiss her while I was thinking it was you.”
Artangst
1. Awkward
McClane’s hand seems to come out of nowhere and land on his shoulder with a thump, keeping him where he is. “This one,” McClane starts, his words icy and measured. “Is important because I know him.”
Cala
1. Fix It, or McClane Scale of Annoyance
“There are two guys at my desk, waving some email at me - that I apparently sent them - and demanding to know what I did to my computer.”
Matt’s brain immediately classified John’s tone of voice as “I would kill you with my pinkie, but you’re too far away” on the McClane Scale of Annoyance, which automatically made Matt pay attention.
CC62827
1. Chucking the Metaphor
Christ, not that again. “I told you, Kid. Heroes eat alone.” Then just in case there was still enough morphine in his system to make Matt miss the context clues, John grabbed the remote and turned up the volume.
Chase65
1. Aftermath
There had been a threat and he’d neutralized it. Black and white. Move on. He didn’t do aftermaths.
Dira Sudis
1. The One You're With
Matt looks up, grinning, and says, "You got me bamboo? Happy Thursday?"
2. Pulling The Thorn
He's looked up all John's old press, and this is ringing a faint bell, one of those human interest anecdotes out of the whole Nakatomi thing. John McClane defeated twelve terrorists barefoot. Matt remembers adding uphill, in the snow, on Christmas! to that in his head, in a state of slightly hysterical awe. He never thought about this part of it.
3. National Pastime
"Nothing like the upper deck at Shea in July," McClane said, in a hearty, two-working-legs, not-even-wearing-a-sling-anymore kind of voice that made Matt want to punch him a little bit. Not in the gunshot wound or anything, but still.
Elayna88
1. Untitled
He'd done all this before, but it was easier this time, simpler with Matt. - No longer public
Flora
1. Upgrade
"Look, I don't know why you're being such a complete Luddite about this. Seriously, it's stable, it's easy, and I can teach you whatever you want to know. Open source, so you're not paying for corporate bullshit, you know, so it's like abandoning the Wal-Mart bakery in exchange for apple pies made straight from the heart of Great-Aunt Edwina, and--"
Flurblewig
1. Options to Explore
He runs his hand over his head. Is he seriously thinking about this? Thinking about the kid--about Farrell... Matt... in an Option C kind of way? Thinking about what it would feel like to wind his fist into that ridiculous hair, to slide his hand under those stupid Sci Fi t-shirts, to pull down the zipper of those insanely tight jeans. To crush that mouth against his own, to lick that pale skin: taste beer and sweat and that indefinable sense of maleness that he barely remembers. Hard muscles under his hand, hard body against his, hard cock heavy and hot in his hand. Or silky and smooth in his mouth, or stretching and so filling in his...
Fools_Game
1. Shut Up
It becomes a kind of game, after that. Getting Matt to talk himself in circles, to become agitated, to trip over his words, to work himself up. A casual “I saw this thing on Fox News last night,” is good for a half-hour of sputtering rage and increasingly incoherent diatribe.
Gemjam
1. Coda
Halfway through the meal, McClane reaches across the table and touches the end of the ribbon on Matt's wrist, giving a little tug. "Hey, what's with this?
2. Different Names for the Same Thing
Matt puts food in John's fridge but forgets to eat. He rents movies but never watches them. He puts clothes in the washing machine but forgets to turn it on.
3. Residue
John's body is warm against his, and the kiss feels so good, but now that Matt's this close again, he can smell the gunpowder, that slightly singed scent lodging in his nostrils.
4. Learning Curve
"Shut the hell up with that talk, kid," McClane growled at him, kissing him firmly on the lips. Matt kissed back, feeling himself melt into it. McClane pulled back, his lips skimming Matt's cheek as he went for his ear again, sucking on the lobe. "You tell me to stop, I'll stop," he said, his voice dark and low.
Gixi
1. Road Rage
Matt raised his eyebrows. "Really? You don't think it means anything that the first thing that comes to mind when you're pissed at another driver is to call him a cocksucker?"
Gloriana
1. Untitled
Crawling through ventilation systems was not his favourite thing, McClane thought, but it beat being shot to death or suffocated, both of which the guys chasing after them had had in mind.
2. Untitled
And maybe McClane only noticed it because he felt the gap at his own side so sharply: Matt at home, spending the time playing video games in their darkened bedroom, alone.
Hackthis
1. The Height of Technology is Frozen Pizza
The second time Matt calls McClane is because he won some pool at the local pub and has tickets to see the Rangers. Matt's not really into sports that aren't played with a Wii, but McClane's a man's man, he must like things like hockey. McClane must like things like getting dirty and sweaty and filthy and eating really fattening food and maybe getting smeared all --
This time, Matt has to hang up after the second ring because all the blood has left his brain.
2. Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before
John smiles broadly. "Did you know there are pot brownies in the fridge?"
Halfshellvenus
1. Aftershock
Anyone with sense would have backed away in embarrassment, which was why Matt was surprised to find himself suddenly kissing John like his life depended on it. Even more surprising was the way John moaned in response, and kissed him back every bit as hard.
2. Reeling
It wasn't just the danger or the relief coursing through him that got Matt flustered and sped up his heart.
3. Number 01 With A Bullet
"Gun training, kid," John answered, grinning broadly, the relief visible on his face. "And I'm going to teach you."
4. Subtextual Valentines
Gathering Matt's hand into both of his own, John bends down and nibbles the edges of Matt's fingers before eating a small part of the candy. Matt inhales sharply, but doesn't pull back, which is a very good sign.
5. Better Late Than Never
"Hacker Hero Tames Technology," whatever the hell that meant. All John really noticed was the blue shirt that looked really good on the kid, and the floppy hair/big smile/bigger eyes that had him grinning back at the cover as if Matt himself had just walked back in through John's front door.
Healingmirth
1. Untitled
They barely made it through the door to the hotel room before Matt turned around again and grabbed hold of John’s tie, loosening the knot enough to get to the button at John’s collar.
2. Give and Take
The best - the absolute best - thing about morning sex is a John McClane that no one else gets to see.
3. any tool is a weapon if you hold it right
It's a point of pride with him that he uses his strength as a tool, not a weapon, in his normal life. So he's not happy about whatever double standard he has in his head that is tangled up between men and women and one-night stands and whatever this is, where he can bruise Matt on a regular basis and not even notice.
4. something to believe in
"You don't even have to - look, I got a hotel room for the reunion so I wouldn't have to find my way home after the staggering amount of booze I'm going to need to get through the rest of this weekend. You can hang out there, order room service, watch tv. Just please help me get through this. I'll do whatever you want."
5.John McClane Can Slam A Revolving Door
Part One of the Revolving Door series
McClane's suspicion had been enough to pull Matt back from the brink of his message-board addiction, but he still felt like he needed to come clean about at least some of it so he could face McClane with a clear conscience.
6. Shifting Out of Neutral
Part Two of the Revolving Door series
He thinks that he can give Matt this. He used to be fucking fantastic at dating, before the kids and the job that felt more like his life than his actual life did. The music at the dance may have changed a bit since the last time, but he still knows the steps.
7. It Ain't Me
Part Three of the Revolving Door series
The idea of John McClane, undercover cop, is ridiculous.
8. Boys in Blue
Part Four of the Revolving Door series
Matt turns away in his fidgeting, and John nearly loses his quiet words to the city noise outside. "I just don't want to wonder if I'm going to be welcome at your funeral."
9. I'll Be Home For Christmas
Part Five of the Revolving Door series
"I told you we were meeting my dad and his partner for dinner. You knew there were going to be four of us. You even made the reservation."
"Yeah, but he's a cop. I thought you meant partner, not, you know, partner."
10. Expulsis Piratis, Restituta Commercia
"They make these things called ships, and they do this thing with them called shipping. It involves transporting goods from one region to another. Perhaps you've heard of it."
Hope
1. Smokin' Cigarettes and Watchin' Captain Kangaroo
The kiss is brief. Because that's what it was, a kiss, the voice in Jack's head reiterates, in a tone more of earnest befuddlement than its usual sarcasm, and when Jack opens his eyes again his Dad's gone from view, Matt closing the apartment door and walking out of the TV's frame without even glancing in Jack's direction.
Iniq
1. pose in the murderer's shadow
"Look, if anyone did that to my boyfriend, I'd want to know who did it," McClane said then, laying his hands on the table, flat and with the palms up, as if inviting a confession.
2. to find themselves tricked
At the door, McClane turned around and looked at the kid. "He's here to help you, alright? He's one of the good guys."
Jasmasson
1. Chuck Norris and John McClane walk into a bar...
John considered himself to be a stoic man - a man’s man. One who expressed emotions by grunts, and manly slaps on the back, and - at most - whispers in his sweetheart’s ear. But if Lucy didn’t stop crying soon, John was going to join her.
Kita0610
1. On The Mating Habits of Middle-Aged Action Heroes
Matt’s hair is a mess; it covers most his face, like always. Like always, John feels the itch in his palm to brush it back. And John is sort of drunk, so he does.
Lalejandra
1. The Time Between Living and Dying
Claire doesn't leave a note or anything, but he hears only four days later the message "This is Claire Redfield's convoy, broadcasting for any survivors. Is there anybody out there?" So she made it, and found actual people, and he only misses her a little.
2. All Things Being Equal, I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia
Nothing since the moment Holly turned, her hair blowing and her eyes wide, and John realized that he had to spend the rest of his life with her, has anything scared the shit out of him more than Farrell's stupid sweet sleepy smile. - No longer posted
Lamardeuse
1. Always A Bridesmaid
They'd been doing this - whatever this was - for about a month now. Usually, Matt invited John over for dinner, or came over to John's and cooked something, and they ended up in bed, or in the shower, or against the wall, or (one really memorable time) on the dining room table. John was starting to associate sex with food so strongly that sometimes he got a hard on while eating his lunch at the station, which was not all that conducive to effective police work.
2. Life, Mid-Crisis
Part One of the Life, Mid-Crisis series
"Okay, sorry, and I cook, and I lift weights, and I know what wine to buy, but I don't have the balls to call you on the goddamned phone like I've been dying to for mo - "
3. From A Rut To A Groove
Part Two of the Life, Mid-Crisis series
"Hey, hey," Matt soothes, holding him just as tightly, "you didn't think I'd give up on you that easy, did you?"
John shakes his head, but maybe they both know he's lying, because he feels Matt press a kiss to his ear, his temple, his cheek, reassurances branded into his skin.
4. Interlude No.1, or In-Laws in D Flat Major
Conclusion of the Life, Mid-Crisis series
Now, though, it hits him that it's been too easy, way too easy, and there's a reason for that: it hasn't even occurred to her that her baby boy might have hooked up with John McClane, fiftyish, balding cop. In fact, she's made a perfectly logical assumption, given the fact that she's been introduced to two men tonight, one who's approximately her son's age, and one who's approximately her own. Add to that the fact that Matt and John have both kept the PDAs off today's menu and it all makes sense.
Lizzypaul
1. Aftermath
“I...” Matt started, then twisted up and kissed John. It was barely a kiss, a brief touch of lips, before Matt was scooting back in his seat, eyes wide, hand going for his door handle. “Ohmygodpleasedon’tkillme,” he mumbled.
2. Affirmation
Sequel to Aftermath
John. Now there was something he could write about.
Lucylooo
1. Shift
He brought the beer into the bedroom, stripping out of his leather jacket, kicking off his boots, and pulling free his belt. There was a dark lump on the other side of the bed that moved when he sat down on his side, heavily. After a moment, it made a noise.
2. Blue Light
John McClane sat in his car for a good five minutes before he mustered the strength to turn it on. It had been a long day - the three-borough chain-reaction blackout had necessitated that all available officers remain on active duty to deal with the emergency, so, after pulling a ten-hour shift, he'd stayed on another eight to help out. At least he'd managed not to get stuck with traffic detail. The shield had to have some advantages.
Lunabee34
1. The One Where Matt Farrell Is Most Certainly Not Sleeping With John McClane (not even a little)
“Life is not a wet dream, Frederick. It’s not even a B movie. Guys like McClane don’t fuck guys like me. Ever.”
2. Occam Never Met John McClane
"There's a fresh razor in the medicine cabinet," McClane says, his voice rough and gravelly. He bows his head, and Matt drags the blade across the curve of McClane's skull, warm pink skin left in its wake. Matt runs a finger over that strip of exposed skin, and McClane shivers at his touch. Matt's half-hard, has been since McClane said okay, but that little shudder, that soft noise that McClane makes in the back of his throat when Matt touches him-they nearly make him come in his pants.
3. New Paths to Helicon, Pt. 2, or How Matt Farrell Finally Got into John McClane's Levis
"What is your damage, Farrell?" she says as soon as Matt picks up. "Forty seven messages in two weeks? Seriously?" She pauses for Matt to say something but he's always had trouble talking while hyperventilating. "You owe me the ass-kissing of the century for this one. Dad asked me to bring in his mail while he was gone so I was there for at least thirteen of your psycho check-ins. But don't worry. I deleted them all last night before he got home. Your little man crush is safe with me."
4. Waist Deep and Sinking
"You know what, McClane? I don't even care anymore if you know." Matt flings himself into the far corner of the elevator and flattens himself up against the fabric covered walls. "You have got to stop touching me, man. It's driving me crazy. I know you don't mean anything by it, but you gotta cut that shit out. I can't take it anymore."
5. Coming Home
Matt's not that guy. He's really not, no matter what McClane said. Staying alive is a very special motivator, and saving McClane, saving Lucy-that was just another kind of saving his own ass. So how he ends up here on the floor of Citibank watching his blood sink into the carpet, Matt doesn't exactly know.
Megyal
1. Stock and Barrel
Handcuffs, Matt had said and his gaze had been so intent, even if he had sounded so careless. Handcuffs. They're hot.
2. Love, at dinner
"Maybe we should disown him," Martin suggested and this pulled an amused hiccup out of Anne, even as she dabbed at her eyes. No matter how shrill they had gotten at each other behind the closed door of their bedroom, they really had the same sense of humour. Martin still had the knack of making her laugh.
3. He goes to (he goes left)
"And sleeping in the same bed as you?" Jack threw in, half-jokingly... then it turned to a sick sort of horror when, without answering, his father took the black pepper from Lucy and shook out some of the contents into the bowl of chicken, motions tight and intent. "No way. No. Way."
4. Working Progress
Foster appeared as if he was swallowing a very large and bitter pill. "That's his... his boyfriend."
5. Three to Tango
"Holly," he breathed out, more to himself than anything else; she looked different from the family-photo John still kept on a shelf over the television, with her hair less curly and faint lines at the corners of her eyes.
6. The Art of Falling (without breaking your neck)
"I'm a total virgin with this dude-sex thing," he blurted and John, caught in the middle of a moan, stopped short and blinked at him. "Yeah, I... okay, this dick in my hand? That's not my dick? I've never done this before. And, and. You've done this before, you're like, a professional at the sex with dudes and I'm just warning you that I'm not. Good at it, not good at the sex thing, because I haven't done it before. With girls, yeah... not with Lucy! God, no, with other girls. So, I--"
7. Thicker Than Water
"Your fucking sister called again," Matt muttered into his pillow, back turned to John.
John wrinkled his brow. "That's why the phone's fucked. See, the trick with her is you have to hang up right after she says hello."
8. Have Mercy on an Old Man
"No, seriously." Matt grinned at him as if John had said this out loud, and he looked like all his evil plans, whatever they were, had come to fruition. "I'm hungry for you. Totally addicted, you have no idea." His face took on a considering expression. "Sometimes I worry if you can handle me, since you're kind of ancient and all."
9. And then along came John (or, Five Times McClane Saved Daisy Duke)
"Oh, hi there," Matt greeted him weakly as the last bit of rubble was removed. His face was streaked in dust and he looked as if he'd gone a week in the Sahara; but as John hauled him out and steadied him on his feet, his grip on John's forearm was like a clamp. "Shit, I lost like fifty lines of code."
10. Get Some of This
Lots of folks weren't aware of this new development about Matt; they looked at him and thought he continued to be that same easy-going dude, and for the most part he was, except... except, recently, he had discovered he was a raging monster when it came to John McClane.
11. So Good in Blue
He pulled out the dark-navy suit and hung it up, studiously not looking in Matt's direction as the kid came back into the room, a towel wrapped low on his hips. He tried not to make it look as if he was trying to escape in the bathroom, and took the coldest shower he could. Coming back out, he stopped short, for Matt was over there fondling his dress-blues.
12. The Story of McClane's Life
"Did he come with anybody?" John asked, too casually, but Lucy's eyes suddenly sharpened; Holly turned around and directed an identical stare in his direction. John stuffed more pie in his mouth.
13. Who Waits Forever, Anyway
John had found the kid in a small bodega, eyes huge and wild as he popped up over the counter and waved a spray-can of something in John's direction. There was a small cigarette lighter in his other hand, the flame trembling. John, who had broken in to see if he could get some stuff, raised his hands slowly, looking the kid steadily in the eyes.
14. Those Who Wait
"Are you going to take off your shirt?" McClane asked. "I've been wasting time for about four years, I'm kind of in a hurry here."
Morphinelovexx
1. Exclusion
The way McClane had his spread hand resting on the small of Matt's back irked him. The way Matt didn't seem to notice made him absolutely fucking nuts.
Niektete
1. Banging His *No, Not Head* Against The Wall
“But I don't want to wait until we get home,” John says, pulling Matt into his arms to kiss him. “I want it now. Come on, Matt, I want you right now.”
Permetaform
1. Accustomed
A nice easy morning.
Which is of course when their street explodes; leading to a series of unfortunate events that includes a motorcycle, an airplane, a tank, a stadium, the entire New York Stock Exchange being held for ransom, and a very confused buffalo.
Persnickett
Just check out everything she's written here: Master List
Petwritings
1. Situation Normal
“Yeah, I know.” There’s a little edge to that voice, a note of hysteria that’s strangely familiar. “I secured the line, it makes the connection shitty. Listen, hey, I’d love to catch up, but I kind of have this problem right now, and I know I said I wouldn’t bother you anymore, but I think someone’s trying to kill me.”
Poisontaster
Die Hard Master List here
Quiet_Tiger
1. Good Idea, Bad Idea
Fooling around in the backseat of his car had been a horrible, awful idea.
Rivestra
1. Harmless Crank Calls and Other Death-Defying Acts
"I didn't call you," he repeats, deadpan, calm. "I called McClane's room."
Romanticalgirl
1. WAD Files
** Must be logged in at the Archive to view
Matt flicks his gaze down to John's fingers and his lips part. No sound comes out, like the question's caught in his throat, so John leans in and kisses him, keeping him from saying a word. John groans at the contact, all the images he tries to keep at bay when he's alone in his bed and desperate for some kind of relief, some oblivion crashing in on him as he slides his tongue into Matt's mouth.
Saekokato
1. Pixie Dust
"Fucking perfect," he mutters under his breath. His apartment is across town, and he can't even grab a cab. He sure as hell ain't walking there, wouldn't have even if there hadn't been a Storm rising - some neighborhoods took exception to stray Pixies running about. And Matt takes exception to being squashed like a bug.
Salieri
1. Pretty Little Death Song: Five Ways Matt Farrell Died
NOT deathfic.
As it turned out, Thomas Gabriel had friends. Big ones who lived in penthouses and Washington brownstones, and who had long memories and a lot of patience.
2. I Fly
Matt has stopped pointing him out, mostly because the first five times he tried, by the time John turned to look, the Human Fly was gone. The last couple of times John didn't bother looking up from his newspaper or away from the TV. Instead he just grunted in that way that meant, "Yeah, kid. Human Fly. Got it." - purged journal
Scaramouche
1. Statute of Limitations
“It’s fucking tiring to be on my back all the time, too!” John damn near shouts. He glares down at his right leg, but the cast hasn’t disappeared since the last time he’d checked. “Fuck.”
2. Sometimes It's Like This
Their teeth click as John insistently presses their mouth together, and it's easy to read the frustration in him that's just on the edge of dangerous. Matt's a little frightened, a little thrilled, a lot turned on and perilously close to coming when John breaks the zipper in getting Matt's pants open.
3. Kink For Great Justice
Matt’s voice has a whole new timbre to it, smooth and tight like the knots now holding John’s hands in place. John shuts his eyes and sends his mind to a familiar place. He’s never used it in a situation like this, but it’s a well-worn suit, comfortable and easy to pull on. He opens his eyes and he’s right there.
4. Affirmation on the 23rd Floor
“Thank you! Thank you for saving my sorry fucking ass!” Matt can’t seem to stop shouting. “Again! I don’t know if I have enough time in the world to thank you every single time this happens! Maybe I should just print Thank You Cards in bulk and throw them at you whenever the occasion comes up!”
5. Folded Spaces
“Now you got to make me prove that we still have enough kitchen space,” John says, deft hands tugging Matt’s shirt out from his pants. “Ain’t that right, kid?”
6. Orbits, Drift
John settles into the chair next to Matt’s bed, easy as anything. The smattering handiwork of stitches and bandages across his person look inadequate, because Matt had been there to witness the abuse sustained by this particular human body, and there’s no way that *this* is all that John’s got to walk away with.
John has to be, like, a secret government cyborg, or something.
7. Heroes Never Die (Except When They Do)
What Matt doesn’t expect is John showing up the following Wednesday to start haunting him.
8. Absolute Horizon
Sequel to "Orbits, Drift"
“Ground rules,” Matt says. “No sex in my mom’s house.”
9. You Better Watch Out
Part One of the John McClane Is An Asshole series
And Matt was sure that McClane was focused on the game, until he (McClane, that is, not Matt) stretched, noisily working out a crick in his neck, then let the arm not attached to his beer fall oh-so-casually behind Matt’s shoulders.
10. You Better Not Cry
Part Two of the John McClane Is An Asshole series
“Your father hit on me.”
11. You Better Not Pout (I'm Telling You Why)
Part Three of the John McClane Is An Asshole series
“No, I really don’t,” Matt says, voice trembling only a teensy weensy bit. “Why don’t you tell me what your intentions are?”
12. He's Making A List
Part Four of the John McClane Is An Asshole series
“This is the part where I declare myself,” John says. He turns slowly, making a show of taking in the cramped space of Matt’s apartment. “Since you don’t have any parents, I guess I’ll have to cut out the middle man."
Sullacat
1. Epiphany
At one point Matt pulled back, looking up at John with shining eyes, happy but definitely confused. He opened his mouth to say something, and John prepared himself a barrage of questions. He was surprised when Matt quietly whispered, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” - deleted journal
Svilleficrecs
1. WPM
This thing that happened - that is happening between them - John hasn't got a name for it, but he really likes it.
2. Context
Matthew visits John's precinct and as he waits for 'Detective McClane' to wrap up, he stares at the pair of handcuffs that rest on the corner of John's cluttered desk.
3. The Walking Wounded
The next time John sees the kid it's the end of August, almost two months after everything goes down. He's back in DC for one of those things where you gotta wear a suit and tell a bunch of people in suits stuff you already told a bunch of other people in suits. He figures the kid might be there, figures he'll probably shave and look about fourteen. The thought makes John smile.
Tigerlady
1. How Enos Finally Caught Daisy (Or, Possibly, The Other Way Around)
"Hey, I'm sorry," Matt says, and adrenaline floods John's system, sending him for his gun before he's got the blankets all the way off, "but I just had to... I mean, it just hit me out of the blue. I killed two guys."
Torakowalski
1. And I’ll Stay Right Here
Matt's cock twitches, moving against John's restraining thigh and god, god, shit, fuck, now is not a good time for this particular little kink of Matt's to wake up and take notice.
2. Just That Simple Thing
"Daisy Duke, did you break into my house today?" John's voice was extra rumbly when he was pissed. Matt didn't find that hot. Not at all.
3. Mr Rock and Roll
When John comes around, it's to a familiar softwetwarm feeling, and his first thought is Holly. Except, unless things have changed a lot in the three years since he's seen her, Holly doesn't have stubble, and that's weird enough to drag him all the way awake.
Torra
1. Good Thing Going
"I told you, I don't do California anymore."
2. Great To See You (Now Go Away)
"John fucking McClane." Zeus groaned loudly as the doors to the hallway were flung open, an older, bald man striding though, limping hard on the plaster cast around his left leg, a kid in his late twenties trailing behind him. "McClane, what the hell are you doing here?"
3. Self-Inflicted
The gun dug more sharply into his neck, pushing into his jugular. Matt groaned and looked towards John, still tied up and bloody in the chair. John shook his head, "Don't you dare, kid."
4. Potatoes: Thanksgiving in Three Acts
"Just remember that if anyone tries to blow up the bridge or something, just shoot them and hurry on home, no stopping to linger with witty comments before you wrap things up...
Utopian Trunks
1. That Guy
After the Fire Sale, Matt has nowhere to go and crashes at John's place. John gets to know sides of Matt he never guessed at during their adventure on the 4th of July, and starts to like not having to eat alone.
2. His Space
Sequel to That Guy
Matt yanks the headset off and lobs it across his desk, upsetting a cupful of pens and a stack of CD jewel cases. He swings around in his chair, looks up at John with huge, brown eyes, pupils dilated, his rapid breathing visible in the rise and fall of his chest. "You can't just go, now," he says, and there's an edge of desperation to his, "John."
3. Point B
Sequel to His Space
Instead, his heart was hammering so hard he felt lightheaded, there was heat unfurling in his stomach that had nothing to do with overcrowding, and he was so desperately hard it hurt, right there on the N, surrounded by dozens of other commuters... who couldn't touch him because the wide back and strong arms of John McClane formed an impenetrable wall between them.
4. Taking Names
Sequel to Point B
What he hadn't gotten over, it seemed, was his fear of other people flying, especially if they were doing so without him, especially if they happened to be Matthew Farrell.
5. Poster Boy
Sequel to Taking Names
John awoke feeling like his sinuses were filled in with concrete, he'd been swallowing Brillo pads all night, and his chest was a size too small for his internal organs.
Bruce Willis Icons
1. by lamardeuse
DH Icons
1. by Utopiantrunks
2. by Farferello
3. by Runningtoyou
4. by Salieri - purged journal
5. by lil_coyote
6. here and here -- by atlantisgrrrl - no longer public
7. by sasskitten - deleted journal
8. by healingmirth (205 icons, all four movies!)
9. by lil_coyote (Christmas Icons)
DH Screencaps
1. here and here -- by healingmirth
McClane Info
1. John's service info
.