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Since about november i've been trying to save up somealot of courage to tell my dad to call the...err...social..welfare..people... social services? i forget what its called but anyway, yesterday i finally did it.
actually, i've been trying to do this since i graduated school ...but since november i've been trying to think "its not a big deal, i can do this"...it's sort of worked.
so he called today and two people are coming over tomorrow at 5pm.
we're gonna talk about my situation and see if i should go on welfare or something.
and..... I AM SO FRIGGIN NERVOUS I AM GOING TO DIE O_O
...no, i'm not nervous....this is nothing, i can handle this.
.......
............
eeeeeeeeeehhhhhh....i'm trying not to think about it but ...its hard. but its good that they can come here, so i dont have to go to them cus i would get sooooooooo nervous on the way there i would probably collapse.
i feel more ..."safe" here at home and i can sit by the computer or watch tv to get my mind off it.
i'm trying to make a Felix gif but i cant concentrate >_<
its really about time i do something...its been 5½ years now...and i know i should've done it long ago but...i wasnt ready i guess. i didnt even know i had social phobia until my friend told me [here] i thought i was just ...weird ._.
Mette, if you see this, i owe you soooo much, if you hadnt told me about it things would've been even worse. it felt really good to see that it had a name and its actually serious and you can get rid of it(not completely maybe but..still).
so thank you ♥
I told my dad not to tell my sister, cus i wanted to tell her myself after they had been here and we had decided what i was gonna do.
it was like the last thing i told my dad...today he talked to my sis and the first thing he does is tell her -_-
he said he didnt hear me say that...yeah right. anyway, my sister has been nagging on me to talk to them alot lately.
she gives us most of her money cus my dad doesnt have enough. but she says she's not getting any tips at work (she's a waitress) because of the crappy economy.
some days before christmas she calls me and she's crying her eyes out. she was begging me to call them but i didnt know what to say to her... i was planning on doing it but ..idk, it felt like i couldnt say it cus then it wouldnt happen, like i would jinx it or something.
oh well, i hope they can help me somehow... my body is starting to give up too, my back hurts and it hurts right above my butt...cus i'm sitting too much -_-
i should go to bed so i'm not sleeping when they get here...that would suck.
I CAN DO THIS I AM NOT AFRAID.
actually, i've been trying to do this since i graduated school ...but since november i've been trying to think "its not a big deal, i can do this"...it's sort of worked.
so he called today and two people are coming over tomorrow at 5pm.
we're gonna talk about my situation and see if i should go on welfare or something.
and..... I AM SO FRIGGIN NERVOUS I AM GOING TO DIE O_O
...no, i'm not nervous....this is nothing, i can handle this.
.......
............
eeeeeeeeeehhhhhh....i'm trying not to think about it but ...its hard. but its good that they can come here, so i dont have to go to them cus i would get sooooooooo nervous on the way there i would probably collapse.
i feel more ..."safe" here at home and i can sit by the computer or watch tv to get my mind off it.
i'm trying to make a Felix gif but i cant concentrate >_<
its really about time i do something...its been 5½ years now...and i know i should've done it long ago but...i wasnt ready i guess. i didnt even know i had social phobia until my friend told me [here] i thought i was just ...weird ._.
Mette, if you see this, i owe you soooo much, if you hadnt told me about it things would've been even worse. it felt really good to see that it had a name and its actually serious and you can get rid of it(not completely maybe but..still).
so thank you ♥
I told my dad not to tell my sister, cus i wanted to tell her myself after they had been here and we had decided what i was gonna do.
it was like the last thing i told my dad...today he talked to my sis and the first thing he does is tell her -_-
he said he didnt hear me say that...yeah right. anyway, my sister has been nagging on me to talk to them alot lately.
she gives us most of her money cus my dad doesnt have enough. but she says she's not getting any tips at work (she's a waitress) because of the crappy economy.
some days before christmas she calls me and she's crying her eyes out. she was begging me to call them but i didnt know what to say to her... i was planning on doing it but ..idk, it felt like i couldnt say it cus then it wouldnt happen, like i would jinx it or something.
oh well, i hope they can help me somehow... my body is starting to give up too, my back hurts and it hurts right above my butt...cus i'm sitting too much -_-
i should go to bed so i'm not sleeping when they get here...that would suck.
I CAN DO THIS I AM NOT AFRAID.