(no subject)
**************diclaimer....I'm bitter, and I am throwing myself a pitty party, so don't feel pity*****
Its become a pattern of writing in here everytime I'm super bitter. And now that finals are over and I have nothing better to do, i figured now would be an ideal time.
Monica just left. I'm so bitter. Honestly, I can't think of a better friend than her. If I have ever needed someone to really stand by me, its been her. She is so much like me. If there is one person I would live with it would be her. Monica was the mediator in our apartment. I think I may just go crazy with out her.
Its become a pattern of everyone leaving me. Especially people who really mean something. Everyone on missions, Jim, Matty, Brittany, now Amanda....and Monica and kate. I'm barely starting to move on from last year, getting my feet settled, and Monica, my only structure is now taken out from underneath.
Like I am honestly so worried for next semester. Jenny is crazy, Rachel is quiet and always gone, and Celeste, I love her....sometiems....I need change...and by change I don't mean someone leaving. I either want to move out, or someone to move in. But becasue no one can sell their contracts, they are screwed.
Everything happens for areason. I figure I will move on and make new friends. But This really will be the frist time where I have to go out of my comfort level and find a new friend. Girl friend. BYU can be a lonely place. Like I don't know what I'm going to do w/ my time. A lot of time this semester was spent at home goofing around and just talking w/ kate and monica. but they are now gone.
And I wish I could say I'm excited to go home, but I'm not.
Tommorrow is my birthday. sweet life. 20 years old. lady-freakin-da.
I don't really know what I am looking for, but its not this. I don't know if its becasue I want a boy, but i think I want change. I feel like everyone is moving on with missions, hawaii or whatever, and I'm just stuck here. my mission isn't for another year.
I could go off right now on getting over matty, but I wont. Lets just say I'm really lost right now.
I figure satan wants people to feel lonely. This is totally him just getting down on me. I need to get over myself. freak.
well, ill stop. jess
Its become a pattern of writing in here everytime I'm super bitter. And now that finals are over and I have nothing better to do, i figured now would be an ideal time.
Monica just left. I'm so bitter. Honestly, I can't think of a better friend than her. If I have ever needed someone to really stand by me, its been her. She is so much like me. If there is one person I would live with it would be her. Monica was the mediator in our apartment. I think I may just go crazy with out her.
Its become a pattern of everyone leaving me. Especially people who really mean something. Everyone on missions, Jim, Matty, Brittany, now Amanda....and Monica and kate. I'm barely starting to move on from last year, getting my feet settled, and Monica, my only structure is now taken out from underneath.
Like I am honestly so worried for next semester. Jenny is crazy, Rachel is quiet and always gone, and Celeste, I love her....sometiems....I need change...and by change I don't mean someone leaving. I either want to move out, or someone to move in. But becasue no one can sell their contracts, they are screwed.
Everything happens for areason. I figure I will move on and make new friends. But This really will be the frist time where I have to go out of my comfort level and find a new friend. Girl friend. BYU can be a lonely place. Like I don't know what I'm going to do w/ my time. A lot of time this semester was spent at home goofing around and just talking w/ kate and monica. but they are now gone.
And I wish I could say I'm excited to go home, but I'm not.
Tommorrow is my birthday. sweet life. 20 years old. lady-freakin-da.
I don't really know what I am looking for, but its not this. I don't know if its becasue I want a boy, but i think I want change. I feel like everyone is moving on with missions, hawaii or whatever, and I'm just stuck here. my mission isn't for another year.
I could go off right now on getting over matty, but I wont. Lets just say I'm really lost right now.
I figure satan wants people to feel lonely. This is totally him just getting down on me. I need to get over myself. freak.
well, ill stop. jess