(no subject)
I promise the next thing I write will be Sam/Dean, this just sort of sneaked out. I blame winterlive. Squishes to balefully for the quick and dirty beta.
Beware: total, unadulterated schmoop, If you like gritty, this is not going to be your thing, but if you're on board with totally ridiculous boys being a bit touchy, you should be fine.
Stay Awhile (Until the Night is Over), Jensen/Jared, PG-13, 3300 words.
Stay Awhile (Until the Night is Over)
The middle of winter in British Columbia isn’t exactly a great time to have your truck break down.
It’s a little past eight and Jensen’s tired as hell already; all he really wants is a cup of coffee and to fall asleep watching something off of TiVo. Getting out of the car to figure out what’s going on with the engine pulls in somewhere close to last on the list of things he really wanted to be doing tonight.
It’s freezing, the kind of bitter cold that cuts right to the bone, and he’s been out filming in it all day; worse still, it’s actually starting to snow. His hands aren’t even warm yet, and it might be the transmission or the battery or, fuck, just about anything, and there’s just no way he's screwing with the car tonight. Jensen’s about to pull out his cell phone when someone knocks on the window, making him jump. When he rubs a space in the fogged up glass, he sees Jared, his hands shoved inside his sleeves because he’s too stubborn to wear gloves, shifting from foot to foot in the cold. They always take the same way home, but his car wasn't there when Jensen left the parking lot - he probably stopped for gas.
Jensen rolls down the window.
“Hey,” Jared says, blowing on his hands to keep them warm, “something wrong with the car?”
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees. “Beats the hell out of me what it is, though.”
“Do you want - ” Jared looks awkward, offering, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I could give you a ride, we could call somebody in the morning.”
“Sure,” Jensen says, nice and easy, and grabs his bag out of the passenger seat, locking her up.
It shouldn’t feel awkward to follow Jared back to his car - the guy’s his best friend, for fuck’s sake - but it does anyway, because Jensen’s not sure where they stand just now. Jared’s been off all week, cold and moody, and Jensen’s pretty sure he knows exactly what it is, but he’s not really sure what to do about it.
Sam and Dean are fighting, barely even speaking at the moment, and they both put so much of themselves into their characters that backing off from Dean’s emotions is something Jensen’s never figured out how to do. Jared keeps looking over at him, long and slow between glances in the rearview mirror, and he’s carrying all of Sam’s insecurity in the set of his shoulders, the tilt of his jaw.
It makes Jensen feel stupidly lonely.
Jared barely says anything the whole way back, but he doesn’t make the turn toward Jensen’s apartment, just keeps his foot on the brake, looking nervous. Jensen watches the windshield wipers slide back and forth. “I’ve got a couple frozen pizzas,” Jared offers, swallowing. “If you wanted.”
“That sounds really good,” Jensen says, honest, because it does, and tonight, well - not going home to a cold and empty apartment sounds pretty fucking incredible.
Jared bought his house when they got renewed for a fourth season, and the only thing Jensen doesn’t like about it is the fact that he didn’t think of it first. It’s not big, just a couple of bedrooms, a living room, and a kitchen, but it’s all Jared, and walking through the front door knocks most of the weight off of his shoulders.
“I’ll, uh,” Jared says, shrugging out of his coat and jerking a thumb over his shoulder toward the kitchen, “put the pizza in.”
Sadie’s leaning against him so hard Jensen thinks he might fall over, tail thumping against the wall, and Harley’s trying to lick inside Jared’s sock. It startles a laugh out of him, which makes Jensen feel a hell of a lot better. “I’ll let the dogs out,” he offers, and goes to stomp around outside in the freezing cold for ten minutes because Harley can’t decide which bush to pee on.
When he lets himself back into the house, the dogs following at his heels, Jared’s putting coffee on in the kitchen, humming to himself. Jensen leans against the doorway, grinning in spite of himself, and Jared glances up then goes red, laughing.
“At least it’s not Metallica,” Jensen points out, laughing too, and goes to feed the dogs.
It isn’t quite so awkward by the time the pizza comes out of the oven; Jared brings him a couple slices of pepperoni and hauls some logs in from the porch to start a fire, and Jensen can literally feel the tension easing out of his shoulders, especially since he’s warm for the first time all day.
Jared sprawls out on the other side of the sofa, far away and a little wary but at least he’s there, and Jensen figures they should talk about it, but that sort of thing’s always easier on a full stomach and a couple cups of coffee.
“You want to watch something?” Jensen offers, and Jared looks kind of startled, like he’s expecting Jensen to want to leave as soon as the food’s done, but he puts aside his plate and goes to put in a DVD.
Jensen keeps Harley from stealing a piece of pizza with his foot, and when Jared turns around, he looks like he wants to laugh but he’s not really sure if he’s allowed. This is ridiculous. Fuck, even Dean would want to put an end to it, if Sam gave him that look.
He waits until they’re pretty far into the movie before sliding over, reaching to turn the volume down as he leans in, pressing his shoulder up against Jared’s.
“Something going on?” Jensen says, soft, easy, because god knows, Jared already looks like he’s going to bolt.
“Sorry,” Jared says, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m just - this has been a rough week.”
“Sure,” Jensen says, nudging their knees together, lined up close. “You feel something sixteen hours a day, it’s hard to feel different when you’re supposed to stop with it.” He’s keeping his voice even, reassuring, maybe a little soft - Jared needs it. Something’s not right.
“Sam’s a wreck,” Jared admits, letting his shoulders drop. “And I - Sandy wants us to see other people, which is - ” He swallows. Jensen slides a hand to the back of his neck, waiting. “Hard.”
Only Jared fucking Padalecki would try to get through a break up entirely on his own because their characters aren’t speaking. Jensen doesn’t really know what to say to even that one out, just rubs his thumb against the curve of Jared’s shoulder. Part of it, maybe, he can fix, if he lets himself slide down deeper - it’s not too hard, and he’s been here all day anyway.
“I’m sorry, Sammy,” he murmurs, lower, because Dean isn’t fucking mad at Sam and Sam should know it.
Sometimes they do this - half acting, maybe even a little bit role playing, but at the end of the day when they’re both running on empty and the script doesn’t call for a resolution just yet, it’s the only way to get through it. No lines, no cameras, just them, and maybe it’s stupid, but sometimes it takes a little more privacy to get anything out of Dean, and he’s pretty sure Jared feels the same way about Sam.
Jared buries his face in his hands, exhaustion written all over his body - Sam’s body - and Jensen stops fighting it and just pulls him in, holding him close, because he's honestly never seen either of them like this before, and it brings out something dangerous in him; Sam is Dean's, and he's never held back anything when it comes to keeping him safe.
It’s about Sam’s fear and the way Jared’s been avoiding him all week, like he’s worried Jensen doesn’t care about him, about Jared’s stupid fucking ex-girlfriend and whatever she did to make him so uncertain. Jared goes totally stiff at first, hesitant, and Jensen wants to beat the hell out of all the people that made him feel this way, even if they’re fictional characters - John, maybe, and that goddamned Demon, and Sandy. Jensen has personal rules about hitting girls, but he sure as hell wouldn’t hesitate on this one.
“Come on,” he murmurs, up against Jared’s temple, and Jared takes this one shuddering breath and buries his face against Jensen’s shoulder, almost shaking, hands tight in his shirt.
“Just don’t hate me for leaving,” he says, and Jensen just keeps his arms wrapped around him, letting him breathe it out.
“I couldn’t hate you,” Jensen murmurs, because that’s the honest truth, that Dean’s never, ever going to hate Sam, no matter what, and Jared finally just relaxes completely against him like he can’t even move.
“I’m okay,” Jared says, eyes closed, not letting go, “I don’t need Dean right now.”
Jensen doesn’t believe him for a second about the first half of that, but Jared’s not shoving him away anymore, so that’s at least something. He pulls him closer for a minute, just them, and then nudges him back.
“I’m staying tonight,” he says, then gets up off the sofa, careful.
His jeans are still stiff from getting soaked in the snow, so he goes into the bedroom and borrows a pair of Jared’s sweatpants, which are way too big but still at least dry, and pulls the duvet off his bed, tossing it at the couch with a grin. Jared smiles back, tentative but definitely a little happier, and Jensen gets a really fucking huge cup of coffee and settles in beside him again, letting Jared sprawl out over him, like he’s used to, before he pulls the blanket up around them.
“It’s cool if you fall asleep,” he says, keeping a hand tucked in against the back of Jared’s neck, rubbing some of the tension out, and Jared’s gone within a couple minutes.
Jensen stays awake long enough to finish the movie, but it’s warm and Jared’s breathing against the hollow of his throat, even and slow, and he’s too tired to last much longer.
When he wakes up the next morning, Jared’s still on top of him. There’s a minute where Jensen thinks he might still be asleep, but then Jared turns his head and catches Jensen watching him. He blushes pretty spectacularly, and any other time Jensen would take the advantage and run with it, but Jensen knows that teasing would be a bad idea, just here.
“You want some breakfast?” he says instead, propping himself up on his elbows, and Jared slides off, cheeks still pink.
Jensen wants to point out that it’s not like he’s going to make a big deal out of it - Jared can just take what he needs in a way that Sam’s never going to be able to, and Jensen sure as hell isn’t going to say anything if what Jared needs is to sleep tangled up with him.
“I should take a shower,” Jared says, and once he’s gone, Jensen fights off the desire to go back to sleep and heads into the kitchen. He finds some waffles in the freezer and puts them in the toaster, and by the time Jared’s out of the shower he’s got some bacon cooking too.
“God, that smells good,” Jared says, hovering by the door to the living room, and Jensen decides that he’s through being Dean Winchester.
“Come over here,” he says, and when Jared hesitates, Jensen considers hitting him with his spatula. “Seriously, Jay.”
Jared’s big on touch - the first time they met, Jensen got a goddamned hug instead of a handshake - and he hasn’t pulled any of his usual stupid shit this week; no tackling on the way to makeup, no fake wrestling matches, no claps on the shoulder when they finish a scene. Jensen’s pretty sure he’s been keeping to himself, which is wrong on so many levels, so he hauls Jared in with his free hand and leans back against him, flipping the bacon.
Jared still doesn’t relax. Jensen leans back a little further.
“We’re fine,” he says, and pulls Jared’s arm down, around his waist, which is maybe - yeah, okay, it’s more intimate than Jared’s usual, but Jensen’s making up for lost ground here.
Jared laughs, finally, close enough that Jensen can feel it against the back of his neck. “Just so we’re clear, you don’t have to fill the girlfriend position.”
“Sure,” Jensen says, grinning, easily. “You’re such a girl, you’ve already got it covered.”
The filming is better - a hell of a lot better, especially since Jensen convinces Jared to take a nap in his trailer while they set up the lights, and forty-five minutes of sleeping against Jensen’s side while Jensen goes over lines apparently works like a charm to calm him down.
Jensen goes back to Jared’s again - the mechanic says his car is going to take a couple days anyway - and it’s all fine until the phone rings while Jensen’s making dinner. Jared’s in the backyard with the dogs; Jensen can see him from the window, throwing a tennis ball for Sadie, so he picks up.
It’s Sandy.
“I can’t believe you’re calling here,” Jensen says, pitching his voice low, because he can’t believe her. Like it’s not enough to break up with him.
“Sure, Jensen,” she says, sounding amused, and Jensen just wants to hang up the damn phone, except he’d feel guilty over it all night. “Is he around?”
“I’ll let him know you called,” Jensen says, even though he’s got no intention of doing so.
There’s a really long pause.
“You should ask him why we broke it off,” she says, finally. “It might be enlightening.”
“Sure,” Jensen says, in his company voice, all low Texas charm, and there’s another pause before the line goes dead, like Sandy wants to say something and doesn’t have the nerve.
Jensen doesn’t need to ask Jared for details. Fact is, Sandy obviously doesn’t know what in the hell she’s passing up. It’s as simple as that.
Jared comes back in with the dogs, flushed from the cold and grinning like an idiot, and he flings an arm around Jensen and shoves his freezing cold nose up against the curve of his jaw. “Somebody call?” he says, while Jensen’s trying to squirm away.
“Wrong number,” Jensen says, laughing, and hits him until he lets go.
It doesn’t start to bother him until later, after dinner, when they’re watching a movie. Jared’s leaning in against his shoulder with a bowl of popcorn, just like normal, and it’s fine, except - he wants to know.
It feels good to be this close, warm and relaxed, and maybe better to have Jared happy, so it’s not like he wants to fuck with any of it, except curiosity’s getting the better of him, because Sandy sounded different than he expected. Resigned, almost.
He rubs a hand up against the back of Jared’s neck, and Jared turns his head to grin at him.
“You want to tell me what happened with you guys?” Jensen says, finally, abruptly, because Jared has this stupid tendency to hide things, and maybe it’s something Jensen needs to know, to keep him from getting unhappy again.
Jared, kind of surprisingly, doesn’t get upset - he just blushes.
“It wasn’t anything,” he says, which is maybe the dumbest excuse Jensen’s ever heard. Something weird is going on here.
“Jay,” Jensen says, rubbing his hands over his jeans, because the way Jared’s looking at him - well. It’s making him feel strange about the whole prying thing.
“She, uh,” Jared says, sliding a hand over his face, and laughs, too high. “She said she thought I was in love with somebody else.”
Jensen privately feels that’s fucking ridiculous, considering Jared spends all of his time with maybe five people, total, and Jensen’s pretty sure he’s not harboring some secret thing for Kripke.
“General somebody?” he says, reaching for his beer, and that’s when Jared goes really flushed.
“Uh, you,” he says, quietly, then grins - it looks forced. “Kind of a stupid idea, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees, grinning back, except the thing is, Sandy’s had a good read on Jared the entire time they’ve known each other, and the way Jared’s been acting around Jensen lately, it’s not so hard to believe.
“It’s not a big deal,” Jared says. “She’s always just gotten these ideas.”
Sandy’s never gotten ideas. “Sure,” Jensen says, turning it over in his head. Surprisingly, it doesn’t feel too strange.
"I mean, it's just stupid," Jared continues, looking anywhere but at Jensen.
Jensen doesn't rush into things - it's probably why Jared has a house and he doesn't, and why he's still driving the car they gave him the first week of filming - but he figures four years is long enough.
"Are you?" he says, simply, putting his beer aside.
Jared looks up all of a sudden, startled and more than a little embarrassed. "Of course not," he mutters, which Jensen knows - he's pretty fluent in Jared Padalecki by this point - means god, yes.
"Jared," Jensen says, just waiting, because that's the other thing he knows - Jared always gets it eventually.
"I," Jared starts, and Jensen watches him close a hand into a fist then let it go. "It's not some big thing, I'm…" He manages what Jensen figures has to be the weakest smile he's ever seen him give. "It's not anything."
"All right," Jensen says, then pushes Sadie off the couch and moves over, nudging a knee against Jared's. "You sure about that?"
"Yeah," Jared says, soft, and then lifts his head, startled, looking surprised to see Jensen so close.
Jensen's willing to wait it out, nice and easy, but Jared looks so unfocused that Jensen isn't sure he's even understanding. Jared inhales, slowly, and Jensen leans in a little more with a smile, following him back.
"Sorry," he murmurs, sliding a hand up to cup Jared's face, close and affectionate. "But I think I believe Sandy."
Jared doesn't say anything, but he's always been an open book, and Jensen can see emotions sliding across his face - surprise, uncertainty, and then stubborn pride, because Jared always gets the wrong fucking idea.
"You don't have to -" he starts, so Jensen presses a thumb to the corner of his mouth, just to shut him up.
"Jared," he says, and watches as Jared finally gets it, finally realizes what the fuck he's saying.
"Yeah," Jared says, suddenly distracted - Jensen's pretty sure he's watching his mouth, but he's tense every place they're touching, like he's still not sure that he's allowed.
Even Jensen's patience has a limit, so he brushes his thumb along Jared's lower lip, just enough to startle him, then pulls him down.
It's tentative, just the press of mouths together, and it takes Jared a few seconds to get the picture, but then he catches his breath and leans in and they're kissing, open and warm. Jared eases into it, slow enough that Jensen barely notices when it goes deep, and when Jared lifts his hands to cup Jensen's face, Jensen doesn't even bother protesting; he just gets a little closer.
It's slow and heated and right, maybe one of the best kisses Jensen's had. Jared licks into his mouth and he just about falls off the goddamned couch, it's that good, but eventually they both have to pull back to breathe.
"God," Jared manages, close enough that Jensen can feel it, and finally takes his hands back, flushed and a little unsteady.
"It's not some big thing," Jensen murmurs, grinning. "I just like you."
Beware: total, unadulterated schmoop, If you like gritty, this is not going to be your thing, but if you're on board with totally ridiculous boys being a bit touchy, you should be fine.
Stay Awhile (Until the Night is Over), Jensen/Jared, PG-13, 3300 words.
Stay Awhile (Until the Night is Over)
The middle of winter in British Columbia isn’t exactly a great time to have your truck break down.
It’s a little past eight and Jensen’s tired as hell already; all he really wants is a cup of coffee and to fall asleep watching something off of TiVo. Getting out of the car to figure out what’s going on with the engine pulls in somewhere close to last on the list of things he really wanted to be doing tonight.
It’s freezing, the kind of bitter cold that cuts right to the bone, and he’s been out filming in it all day; worse still, it’s actually starting to snow. His hands aren’t even warm yet, and it might be the transmission or the battery or, fuck, just about anything, and there’s just no way he's screwing with the car tonight. Jensen’s about to pull out his cell phone when someone knocks on the window, making him jump. When he rubs a space in the fogged up glass, he sees Jared, his hands shoved inside his sleeves because he’s too stubborn to wear gloves, shifting from foot to foot in the cold. They always take the same way home, but his car wasn't there when Jensen left the parking lot - he probably stopped for gas.
Jensen rolls down the window.
“Hey,” Jared says, blowing on his hands to keep them warm, “something wrong with the car?”
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees. “Beats the hell out of me what it is, though.”
“Do you want - ” Jared looks awkward, offering, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I could give you a ride, we could call somebody in the morning.”
“Sure,” Jensen says, nice and easy, and grabs his bag out of the passenger seat, locking her up.
It shouldn’t feel awkward to follow Jared back to his car - the guy’s his best friend, for fuck’s sake - but it does anyway, because Jensen’s not sure where they stand just now. Jared’s been off all week, cold and moody, and Jensen’s pretty sure he knows exactly what it is, but he’s not really sure what to do about it.
Sam and Dean are fighting, barely even speaking at the moment, and they both put so much of themselves into their characters that backing off from Dean’s emotions is something Jensen’s never figured out how to do. Jared keeps looking over at him, long and slow between glances in the rearview mirror, and he’s carrying all of Sam’s insecurity in the set of his shoulders, the tilt of his jaw.
It makes Jensen feel stupidly lonely.
Jared barely says anything the whole way back, but he doesn’t make the turn toward Jensen’s apartment, just keeps his foot on the brake, looking nervous. Jensen watches the windshield wipers slide back and forth. “I’ve got a couple frozen pizzas,” Jared offers, swallowing. “If you wanted.”
“That sounds really good,” Jensen says, honest, because it does, and tonight, well - not going home to a cold and empty apartment sounds pretty fucking incredible.
Jared bought his house when they got renewed for a fourth season, and the only thing Jensen doesn’t like about it is the fact that he didn’t think of it first. It’s not big, just a couple of bedrooms, a living room, and a kitchen, but it’s all Jared, and walking through the front door knocks most of the weight off of his shoulders.
“I’ll, uh,” Jared says, shrugging out of his coat and jerking a thumb over his shoulder toward the kitchen, “put the pizza in.”
Sadie’s leaning against him so hard Jensen thinks he might fall over, tail thumping against the wall, and Harley’s trying to lick inside Jared’s sock. It startles a laugh out of him, which makes Jensen feel a hell of a lot better. “I’ll let the dogs out,” he offers, and goes to stomp around outside in the freezing cold for ten minutes because Harley can’t decide which bush to pee on.
When he lets himself back into the house, the dogs following at his heels, Jared’s putting coffee on in the kitchen, humming to himself. Jensen leans against the doorway, grinning in spite of himself, and Jared glances up then goes red, laughing.
“At least it’s not Metallica,” Jensen points out, laughing too, and goes to feed the dogs.
It isn’t quite so awkward by the time the pizza comes out of the oven; Jared brings him a couple slices of pepperoni and hauls some logs in from the porch to start a fire, and Jensen can literally feel the tension easing out of his shoulders, especially since he’s warm for the first time all day.
Jared sprawls out on the other side of the sofa, far away and a little wary but at least he’s there, and Jensen figures they should talk about it, but that sort of thing’s always easier on a full stomach and a couple cups of coffee.
“You want to watch something?” Jensen offers, and Jared looks kind of startled, like he’s expecting Jensen to want to leave as soon as the food’s done, but he puts aside his plate and goes to put in a DVD.
Jensen keeps Harley from stealing a piece of pizza with his foot, and when Jared turns around, he looks like he wants to laugh but he’s not really sure if he’s allowed. This is ridiculous. Fuck, even Dean would want to put an end to it, if Sam gave him that look.
He waits until they’re pretty far into the movie before sliding over, reaching to turn the volume down as he leans in, pressing his shoulder up against Jared’s.
“Something going on?” Jensen says, soft, easy, because god knows, Jared already looks like he’s going to bolt.
“Sorry,” Jared says, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m just - this has been a rough week.”
“Sure,” Jensen says, nudging their knees together, lined up close. “You feel something sixteen hours a day, it’s hard to feel different when you’re supposed to stop with it.” He’s keeping his voice even, reassuring, maybe a little soft - Jared needs it. Something’s not right.
“Sam’s a wreck,” Jared admits, letting his shoulders drop. “And I - Sandy wants us to see other people, which is - ” He swallows. Jensen slides a hand to the back of his neck, waiting. “Hard.”
Only Jared fucking Padalecki would try to get through a break up entirely on his own because their characters aren’t speaking. Jensen doesn’t really know what to say to even that one out, just rubs his thumb against the curve of Jared’s shoulder. Part of it, maybe, he can fix, if he lets himself slide down deeper - it’s not too hard, and he’s been here all day anyway.
“I’m sorry, Sammy,” he murmurs, lower, because Dean isn’t fucking mad at Sam and Sam should know it.
Sometimes they do this - half acting, maybe even a little bit role playing, but at the end of the day when they’re both running on empty and the script doesn’t call for a resolution just yet, it’s the only way to get through it. No lines, no cameras, just them, and maybe it’s stupid, but sometimes it takes a little more privacy to get anything out of Dean, and he’s pretty sure Jared feels the same way about Sam.
Jared buries his face in his hands, exhaustion written all over his body - Sam’s body - and Jensen stops fighting it and just pulls him in, holding him close, because he's honestly never seen either of them like this before, and it brings out something dangerous in him; Sam is Dean's, and he's never held back anything when it comes to keeping him safe.
It’s about Sam’s fear and the way Jared’s been avoiding him all week, like he’s worried Jensen doesn’t care about him, about Jared’s stupid fucking ex-girlfriend and whatever she did to make him so uncertain. Jared goes totally stiff at first, hesitant, and Jensen wants to beat the hell out of all the people that made him feel this way, even if they’re fictional characters - John, maybe, and that goddamned Demon, and Sandy. Jensen has personal rules about hitting girls, but he sure as hell wouldn’t hesitate on this one.
“Come on,” he murmurs, up against Jared’s temple, and Jared takes this one shuddering breath and buries his face against Jensen’s shoulder, almost shaking, hands tight in his shirt.
“Just don’t hate me for leaving,” he says, and Jensen just keeps his arms wrapped around him, letting him breathe it out.
“I couldn’t hate you,” Jensen murmurs, because that’s the honest truth, that Dean’s never, ever going to hate Sam, no matter what, and Jared finally just relaxes completely against him like he can’t even move.
“I’m okay,” Jared says, eyes closed, not letting go, “I don’t need Dean right now.”
Jensen doesn’t believe him for a second about the first half of that, but Jared’s not shoving him away anymore, so that’s at least something. He pulls him closer for a minute, just them, and then nudges him back.
“I’m staying tonight,” he says, then gets up off the sofa, careful.
His jeans are still stiff from getting soaked in the snow, so he goes into the bedroom and borrows a pair of Jared’s sweatpants, which are way too big but still at least dry, and pulls the duvet off his bed, tossing it at the couch with a grin. Jared smiles back, tentative but definitely a little happier, and Jensen gets a really fucking huge cup of coffee and settles in beside him again, letting Jared sprawl out over him, like he’s used to, before he pulls the blanket up around them.
“It’s cool if you fall asleep,” he says, keeping a hand tucked in against the back of Jared’s neck, rubbing some of the tension out, and Jared’s gone within a couple minutes.
Jensen stays awake long enough to finish the movie, but it’s warm and Jared’s breathing against the hollow of his throat, even and slow, and he’s too tired to last much longer.
When he wakes up the next morning, Jared’s still on top of him. There’s a minute where Jensen thinks he might still be asleep, but then Jared turns his head and catches Jensen watching him. He blushes pretty spectacularly, and any other time Jensen would take the advantage and run with it, but Jensen knows that teasing would be a bad idea, just here.
“You want some breakfast?” he says instead, propping himself up on his elbows, and Jared slides off, cheeks still pink.
Jensen wants to point out that it’s not like he’s going to make a big deal out of it - Jared can just take what he needs in a way that Sam’s never going to be able to, and Jensen sure as hell isn’t going to say anything if what Jared needs is to sleep tangled up with him.
“I should take a shower,” Jared says, and once he’s gone, Jensen fights off the desire to go back to sleep and heads into the kitchen. He finds some waffles in the freezer and puts them in the toaster, and by the time Jared’s out of the shower he’s got some bacon cooking too.
“God, that smells good,” Jared says, hovering by the door to the living room, and Jensen decides that he’s through being Dean Winchester.
“Come over here,” he says, and when Jared hesitates, Jensen considers hitting him with his spatula. “Seriously, Jay.”
Jared’s big on touch - the first time they met, Jensen got a goddamned hug instead of a handshake - and he hasn’t pulled any of his usual stupid shit this week; no tackling on the way to makeup, no fake wrestling matches, no claps on the shoulder when they finish a scene. Jensen’s pretty sure he’s been keeping to himself, which is wrong on so many levels, so he hauls Jared in with his free hand and leans back against him, flipping the bacon.
Jared still doesn’t relax. Jensen leans back a little further.
“We’re fine,” he says, and pulls Jared’s arm down, around his waist, which is maybe - yeah, okay, it’s more intimate than Jared’s usual, but Jensen’s making up for lost ground here.
Jared laughs, finally, close enough that Jensen can feel it against the back of his neck. “Just so we’re clear, you don’t have to fill the girlfriend position.”
“Sure,” Jensen says, grinning, easily. “You’re such a girl, you’ve already got it covered.”
The filming is better - a hell of a lot better, especially since Jensen convinces Jared to take a nap in his trailer while they set up the lights, and forty-five minutes of sleeping against Jensen’s side while Jensen goes over lines apparently works like a charm to calm him down.
Jensen goes back to Jared’s again - the mechanic says his car is going to take a couple days anyway - and it’s all fine until the phone rings while Jensen’s making dinner. Jared’s in the backyard with the dogs; Jensen can see him from the window, throwing a tennis ball for Sadie, so he picks up.
It’s Sandy.
“I can’t believe you’re calling here,” Jensen says, pitching his voice low, because he can’t believe her. Like it’s not enough to break up with him.
“Sure, Jensen,” she says, sounding amused, and Jensen just wants to hang up the damn phone, except he’d feel guilty over it all night. “Is he around?”
“I’ll let him know you called,” Jensen says, even though he’s got no intention of doing so.
There’s a really long pause.
“You should ask him why we broke it off,” she says, finally. “It might be enlightening.”
“Sure,” Jensen says, in his company voice, all low Texas charm, and there’s another pause before the line goes dead, like Sandy wants to say something and doesn’t have the nerve.
Jensen doesn’t need to ask Jared for details. Fact is, Sandy obviously doesn’t know what in the hell she’s passing up. It’s as simple as that.
Jared comes back in with the dogs, flushed from the cold and grinning like an idiot, and he flings an arm around Jensen and shoves his freezing cold nose up against the curve of his jaw. “Somebody call?” he says, while Jensen’s trying to squirm away.
“Wrong number,” Jensen says, laughing, and hits him until he lets go.
It doesn’t start to bother him until later, after dinner, when they’re watching a movie. Jared’s leaning in against his shoulder with a bowl of popcorn, just like normal, and it’s fine, except - he wants to know.
It feels good to be this close, warm and relaxed, and maybe better to have Jared happy, so it’s not like he wants to fuck with any of it, except curiosity’s getting the better of him, because Sandy sounded different than he expected. Resigned, almost.
He rubs a hand up against the back of Jared’s neck, and Jared turns his head to grin at him.
“You want to tell me what happened with you guys?” Jensen says, finally, abruptly, because Jared has this stupid tendency to hide things, and maybe it’s something Jensen needs to know, to keep him from getting unhappy again.
Jared, kind of surprisingly, doesn’t get upset - he just blushes.
“It wasn’t anything,” he says, which is maybe the dumbest excuse Jensen’s ever heard. Something weird is going on here.
“Jay,” Jensen says, rubbing his hands over his jeans, because the way Jared’s looking at him - well. It’s making him feel strange about the whole prying thing.
“She, uh,” Jared says, sliding a hand over his face, and laughs, too high. “She said she thought I was in love with somebody else.”
Jensen privately feels that’s fucking ridiculous, considering Jared spends all of his time with maybe five people, total, and Jensen’s pretty sure he’s not harboring some secret thing for Kripke.
“General somebody?” he says, reaching for his beer, and that’s when Jared goes really flushed.
“Uh, you,” he says, quietly, then grins - it looks forced. “Kind of a stupid idea, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees, grinning back, except the thing is, Sandy’s had a good read on Jared the entire time they’ve known each other, and the way Jared’s been acting around Jensen lately, it’s not so hard to believe.
“It’s not a big deal,” Jared says. “She’s always just gotten these ideas.”
Sandy’s never gotten ideas. “Sure,” Jensen says, turning it over in his head. Surprisingly, it doesn’t feel too strange.
"I mean, it's just stupid," Jared continues, looking anywhere but at Jensen.
Jensen doesn't rush into things - it's probably why Jared has a house and he doesn't, and why he's still driving the car they gave him the first week of filming - but he figures four years is long enough.
"Are you?" he says, simply, putting his beer aside.
Jared looks up all of a sudden, startled and more than a little embarrassed. "Of course not," he mutters, which Jensen knows - he's pretty fluent in Jared Padalecki by this point - means god, yes.
"Jared," Jensen says, just waiting, because that's the other thing he knows - Jared always gets it eventually.
"I," Jared starts, and Jensen watches him close a hand into a fist then let it go. "It's not some big thing, I'm…" He manages what Jensen figures has to be the weakest smile he's ever seen him give. "It's not anything."
"All right," Jensen says, then pushes Sadie off the couch and moves over, nudging a knee against Jared's. "You sure about that?"
"Yeah," Jared says, soft, and then lifts his head, startled, looking surprised to see Jensen so close.
Jensen's willing to wait it out, nice and easy, but Jared looks so unfocused that Jensen isn't sure he's even understanding. Jared inhales, slowly, and Jensen leans in a little more with a smile, following him back.
"Sorry," he murmurs, sliding a hand up to cup Jared's face, close and affectionate. "But I think I believe Sandy."
Jared doesn't say anything, but he's always been an open book, and Jensen can see emotions sliding across his face - surprise, uncertainty, and then stubborn pride, because Jared always gets the wrong fucking idea.
"You don't have to -" he starts, so Jensen presses a thumb to the corner of his mouth, just to shut him up.
"Jared," he says, and watches as Jared finally gets it, finally realizes what the fuck he's saying.
"Yeah," Jared says, suddenly distracted - Jensen's pretty sure he's watching his mouth, but he's tense every place they're touching, like he's still not sure that he's allowed.
Even Jensen's patience has a limit, so he brushes his thumb along Jared's lower lip, just enough to startle him, then pulls him down.
It's tentative, just the press of mouths together, and it takes Jared a few seconds to get the picture, but then he catches his breath and leans in and they're kissing, open and warm. Jared eases into it, slow enough that Jensen barely notices when it goes deep, and when Jared lifts his hands to cup Jensen's face, Jensen doesn't even bother protesting; he just gets a little closer.
It's slow and heated and right, maybe one of the best kisses Jensen's had. Jared licks into his mouth and he just about falls off the goddamned couch, it's that good, but eventually they both have to pull back to breathe.
"God," Jared manages, close enough that Jensen can feel it, and finally takes his hands back, flushed and a little unsteady.
"It's not some big thing," Jensen murmurs, grinning. "I just like you."