(no subject)
For some reason i feel different tonight
I dont think im in any sort of state to tell what ive
been doing lately because that would just let you
all know what ive been up to, not what's on my mind
right now...
I just
this is wierd
Somethings been different lately
Ive been enjoying the time ive been
spending by myself lately
i found peace in my solitude
Im not sure whats happening lately
Everything seems like such a blurr
Its completely non-drugg induced as well
I think im finally figuring out who i am
that must be it
I hope thats it
But i keep hearing this humming in my head
Like someone singing to me
I can't make out the voice
Don't worry im not crazy
There are a few things wrong with me
just like everyone has a few things wrong
with themselves
In fact there are some things very wrong with me
but craziness isnt one of them
But ive got a humming in my head that wont go away
I cant quite put my finger on it though it seems
so close
Almost like i could reach out and get a breif taste
but not quite grip the whole thing
It feels like a calling to something
Slowly its been building into a tune in my head
for weeks on end
And i realized most of my friends dont really
know me for whats in my mind and how i feel
about my life and my world
And im sure that if i was completely open with
all of that.. most of them probably wouldnt be
my friends
Maybe its because i believe in great things
and i believe in God and i believe in the unexplained
while ive noticed a lot of people i associate my
self with are so provincial and narrow minded that
they succumb themselves to strict beliefs and habits
that often times seem ridiculous to most other people
Yet these habbits constantly change and these beliefs
are constantly warped until they are even beliefs or habbits
anymore, they come out as false persona that is completely
untrue... how they act and what they claim to believe in
are just how they want people to see them.. truth is
they do not even believe in what they tell most people
and most of the words out of thier mouths are littered
with lies and insecure profanity
Im not putting these people down because i used to be
exactly like this
I can remember how eager i was to look and be like someone
else when i wasnt even happy being like that
Most people you see in your life that cause you to
think to yourself "Wow, that kid is really sweet. I
wish i was him" are not really who they seem at all.
In reality the people who we try to be like and image
ourselves as are in chain doing the same things themsleves
only striving to be like someone they believe is greater
than themselves.
I used to be like this so completely shamefully
I hated who i was because i wasnt like those other people
and because i wanted to be friends with them and be generally
accepted... but in the past year i realized what a fool
i truly was
Why the hell did i want to be friends with these people
why did i want to be like them?
It took me a moment to muster up that slap in the face
to realize the friends i had in jake and ryan jones and
the several others who i can always count on to be there
You see it doesnt matter that my friends like jake and ryan
are necessarily people i strive to be like, that is what
makes them my friends
And that is what matters
The simple fact that they are my true friends
I used to yearn to be someone else
For some reason I changed this past year
It all started with that humming in my head
Its blossomed this summer..
now that humming has turned into a tune
that rings through my brain when i sleep
and when im awake
That tune is what keeps me going
that tune is who i am
this night is strange indeed
I dont think im in any sort of state to tell what ive
been doing lately because that would just let you
all know what ive been up to, not what's on my mind
right now...
I just
this is wierd
Somethings been different lately
Ive been enjoying the time ive been
spending by myself lately
i found peace in my solitude
Im not sure whats happening lately
Everything seems like such a blurr
Its completely non-drugg induced as well
I think im finally figuring out who i am
that must be it
I hope thats it
But i keep hearing this humming in my head
Like someone singing to me
I can't make out the voice
Don't worry im not crazy
There are a few things wrong with me
just like everyone has a few things wrong
with themselves
In fact there are some things very wrong with me
but craziness isnt one of them
But ive got a humming in my head that wont go away
I cant quite put my finger on it though it seems
so close
Almost like i could reach out and get a breif taste
but not quite grip the whole thing
It feels like a calling to something
Slowly its been building into a tune in my head
for weeks on end
And i realized most of my friends dont really
know me for whats in my mind and how i feel
about my life and my world
And im sure that if i was completely open with
all of that.. most of them probably wouldnt be
my friends
Maybe its because i believe in great things
and i believe in God and i believe in the unexplained
while ive noticed a lot of people i associate my
self with are so provincial and narrow minded that
they succumb themselves to strict beliefs and habits
that often times seem ridiculous to most other people
Yet these habbits constantly change and these beliefs
are constantly warped until they are even beliefs or habbits
anymore, they come out as false persona that is completely
untrue... how they act and what they claim to believe in
are just how they want people to see them.. truth is
they do not even believe in what they tell most people
and most of the words out of thier mouths are littered
with lies and insecure profanity
Im not putting these people down because i used to be
exactly like this
I can remember how eager i was to look and be like someone
else when i wasnt even happy being like that
Most people you see in your life that cause you to
think to yourself "Wow, that kid is really sweet. I
wish i was him" are not really who they seem at all.
In reality the people who we try to be like and image
ourselves as are in chain doing the same things themsleves
only striving to be like someone they believe is greater
than themselves.
I used to be like this so completely shamefully
I hated who i was because i wasnt like those other people
and because i wanted to be friends with them and be generally
accepted... but in the past year i realized what a fool
i truly was
Why the hell did i want to be friends with these people
why did i want to be like them?
It took me a moment to muster up that slap in the face
to realize the friends i had in jake and ryan jones and
the several others who i can always count on to be there
You see it doesnt matter that my friends like jake and ryan
are necessarily people i strive to be like, that is what
makes them my friends
And that is what matters
The simple fact that they are my true friends
I used to yearn to be someone else
For some reason I changed this past year
It all started with that humming in my head
Its blossomed this summer..
now that humming has turned into a tune
that rings through my brain when i sleep
and when im awake
That tune is what keeps me going
that tune is who i am
this night is strange indeed