Realization #5
"The biggest point to me, though, is the understanding if I make a choice that seems to put me into a bad situation, it is because making that choice was feeding into ANOTHER belief I had, one that may have been totally unconscious, yet strong. When I understand that, I forgive myself for my past behavior and don't live surrounded in guilt."
[...]
"It's a system, and it's in balance. If [one desire is stronger, then I follow that desire.] If the desire [is stronger] to not deny myself [something] (which it often is in my case), no change (or little long lived change) occurs. It's not willpower, it's not being a bad person - it's just that I am choosing to surround myself with a pleasurable situation [mediated by the given desire]."
"So, what I need to work on is the definition of [which desire is pleasurable]! Is it REALLY pleasurable [...]? Or does it cause uncomfortable feelings, [etc, ....] If I can make some changes at that level, I can make some changes in [my behavior] that might sustain for a long time, because I've expanded the system, not just attacked the problem."
~A good friend
[...]
"It's a system, and it's in balance. If [one desire is stronger, then I follow that desire.] If the desire [is stronger] to not deny myself [something] (which it often is in my case), no change (or little long lived change) occurs. It's not willpower, it's not being a bad person - it's just that I am choosing to surround myself with a pleasurable situation [mediated by the given desire]."
"So, what I need to work on is the definition of [which desire is pleasurable]! Is it REALLY pleasurable [...]? Or does it cause uncomfortable feelings, [etc, ....] If I can make some changes at that level, I can make some changes in [my behavior] that might sustain for a long time, because I've expanded the system, not just attacked the problem."
~A good friend