Understanding Wing: "I love you"
I've decided to do a series of posts added to whenever I feel like I have something clarified in my head in English enough that I can post it.
I tell my friends that I love them.
That's what friendship means to me. That you are my family. The family I have chosen. The people I would die for, kill for and the people that I do live for.
Were it within my power, I would reach up, grab the moon and give it to anyone that I love.
Love does not ask for anything in exchange. I do not expect the people I love to love me back, though it's always nice, because love does not need to be requited.
There have been two male friends who have reacted badly to the words "I love you". They assumed I meant "I am in love with you". So allow me to explain something now. I am of the mind that you can be enfatuated with someone. You can be romantically drawn to a person. But you cannot be in love with someone until you have spent time in a romantic relationship with them. Being in love with someone is not an emotion, it is the result of a process that occurs within the relationship.
Now, in defence of one of them, there is an admitted romantic interest and in the general context, the phrase "I love you" is most often used to say "I am in love with you".
So. Now that that's clear what do I want.
If I say to you "I love you", I want you to know what I mean. I want you to know what I'm expecting in return (ie: nothing) and I want you to know that you are cherished.
I tell my friends that I love them.
That's what friendship means to me. That you are my family. The family I have chosen. The people I would die for, kill for and the people that I do live for.
Were it within my power, I would reach up, grab the moon and give it to anyone that I love.
Love does not ask for anything in exchange. I do not expect the people I love to love me back, though it's always nice, because love does not need to be requited.
There have been two male friends who have reacted badly to the words "I love you". They assumed I meant "I am in love with you". So allow me to explain something now. I am of the mind that you can be enfatuated with someone. You can be romantically drawn to a person. But you cannot be in love with someone until you have spent time in a romantic relationship with them. Being in love with someone is not an emotion, it is the result of a process that occurs within the relationship.
Now, in defence of one of them, there is an admitted romantic interest and in the general context, the phrase "I love you" is most often used to say "I am in love with you".
So. Now that that's clear what do I want.
If I say to you "I love you", I want you to know what I mean. I want you to know what I'm expecting in return (ie: nothing) and I want you to know that you are cherished.