Tales from the Book, Part CLXIV

[seryan]

Not that I'm utterly fantastic about posting these on time or anything, but they might be even more erratic next week than usual. I've got some overtime to put in at work. Busy busy busy!
"So when this is finished [uninstalling] I'll be able to go and sign on?"

Tech: Open Internet Explorer.
Caller: Who is Internet Explorer?

Multiple callers:
Many people who are completely unable to read their computer screens without glasses call while not wearing them, and often won't put them on until you've spent a good few minutes searching for the simplest things. I go without my glasses sometimes, but you know what? When I need to see things, I put them back on.

Tech: Open Internet Explorer.
Caller: How do I do that? Go to Google?

Multiple Callers:
Tech: OK, DO NOT sign on. Just change your screen name to 'Guest' then change it back.
Caller: I'm not signing on as 'Guest'! RAWR!
- or -
Caller: OK, 'Guest' sign on is up. Put in my username and password?

Tech: Double-click on the 'Backup' folder.
Caller: Er...wh...'phxbkp'?

Tech: ...leave a space.
Caller: An underscore?

Caller: I don't know the answer to this security question! Change it!
Tech: OK. *wrestles secondary verification out of Caller, changes question* Right, I just reset it. You -
Caller: *has been too busy bitching to refresh the page, and interrupted what would have been the instruction to do so* It still says the same thing!

Caller: I have a connection problem, and I know what it is; I installed Norton.
Tech: OK, well, let's -
Caller: Oh, now my screen just went blank and it says '*ISP* Free Trial'.
Tech: You're installing then?
Caller: No, I'm already an *ISP* member. I just put the disc in to reinstall because I thought it might help.
Tech: *facepalm*