some prospective

[serrin]

Ahhh the creation and rehearsal process continues. There have been so many changes(still) to the show and to my acts. The last few day have been a bit of a nightmare, actually Saturday was a full out nightmare. I've felt so stressed, frustrated and defeated. My day off yesterday was spent in a state of anxiety and tears. Today was better but still incredibly stressful. I am eventually going to write a big long post about this insanity but today I started reading Ashley Judd's memoir. A book I downloaded months ago but for some reason felt a pull to start reading today while browsing through my Kindle. It's not the best written memoir I've read, it covers a lot of her humanitarian work in poverty stricken parts of the world. She tells stories of the women she's met, women sold to brothels, victims of sex trafficking. Its very hard to read but it was the splash of cold water to the face that I needed to wake me up and help put my worries in prospective. To think beyond my own fears and realize how lucky I am that these are my problems. I'm having a hard time while rehearsing to be a specialty act in a show with one of the most prestigious circus companies out there. First World Fucking Problem.

I'm going to start tomorrow with a clearer head, a more realistic outlook on my current situation and gratitude for the life I am living.

"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle." - Benjamin Franklin