eh.
today is going to be a really bad day. i couldn't sleep until forever last night again. think it was about 3:30 or something last time i looked at the clock. all i did was lay there and torture myself. that's not new, but still. it's annoying. i don't want to live on 4 hours of sleep, thanks anyway.
RAWR.
all i could think about was... well, ya know. i think it was just because something happened right before bed. it's like. i don't know. i was trying to be annoying though. it's just that everytime i want to talk to certain people they are always too occupied with their lover. i guess we are supposidly hanging out tomorrow. i seriously doubt that, but weirder things HAVE happened. i don't know. i have so many things that i just have to say in real life to know how i honestly feel. i guess if she ditches me then i will just go with the not liking her part of me. i'm so confused. the entire time that we were the closest EVER she was scheming to try to get him. actually. that might not have been when we were the closest. i think we were just before all of that. either way it sucked. and like she has been there a lot for me, but not when i have NEEDED her to be there. kind of like now. of course there are way more good things that i like than those major bad things. i just don't understand how it could ever work to have everything major go wrong, but little details be alright.
urf. i doubt i'll be able to get anything out if we do see each other tomorrow. maybe i shouldn't say anything? i don't want to mess it up AGAIN. i think that no matter what i will always have a stupid piece of my heart for her and gay crap like that, but ehhh. i think it's more that i don't want to. which am i supposed to listen to, my head or my heart? you know?
i'll just try to talk to her about it in person?
gaygaygaygaygyaagygyaygygygaygaygayaygaygayagyagayaygaygaygaygaygaygyagygay.
she is the only person i can't pretend to be happy around.
gayagyagyagaygaygayagaygaygaygayagyagyagyagyyagaygaygayagygayagyagyagyagayg.
RAWR.
all i could think about was... well, ya know. i think it was just because something happened right before bed. it's like. i don't know. i was trying to be annoying though. it's just that everytime i want to talk to certain people they are always too occupied with their lover. i guess we are supposidly hanging out tomorrow. i seriously doubt that, but weirder things HAVE happened. i don't know. i have so many things that i just have to say in real life to know how i honestly feel. i guess if she ditches me then i will just go with the not liking her part of me. i'm so confused. the entire time that we were the closest EVER she was scheming to try to get him. actually. that might not have been when we were the closest. i think we were just before all of that. either way it sucked. and like she has been there a lot for me, but not when i have NEEDED her to be there. kind of like now. of course there are way more good things that i like than those major bad things. i just don't understand how it could ever work to have everything major go wrong, but little details be alright.
urf. i doubt i'll be able to get anything out if we do see each other tomorrow. maybe i shouldn't say anything? i don't want to mess it up AGAIN. i think that no matter what i will always have a stupid piece of my heart for her and gay crap like that, but ehhh. i think it's more that i don't want to. which am i supposed to listen to, my head or my heart? you know?
i'll just try to talk to her about it in person?
gaygaygaygaygyaagygyaygygygaygaygayaygaygayagyagayaygaygaygaygaygaygyagygay.
she is the only person i can't pretend to be happy around.
gayagyagyagaygaygayagaygaygaygayagyagyagyagyyagaygaygayagygayagyagyagyagayg.