Ch-ch-ch-changes?

[serotoninjunky]

I was having a conversation today with my son Tristan, and I do believe that it resulted in a moment of enlightenment for me. Or at least I'm closer to enlightenment. I was reminiscing with him about a relationship in my life "gone bad". This relationship is/was with my father-in-law. I've been married for 22 years, and I knew my father-in-law

Comments

[9uh]

I LOVE and appreciate your entries. I suppose when I read them I listen to all the wisdom as though you are the most devoted mother I've ever heard of(you almost make me want some of my own to love, but I'm too young for that). However I don't just see you as a wonderful mother, you are a great mother who still has a personality. I feel that you aren't a nun like most "Moms" that I know. You seem like so much more! Making any time for your own self development in this way is so courageous to me. I just know how my Mom stopped living once she had all of us. It was make money to feed the kids and that's all it was. I just treasure every word that I read of yours. I hope to take something from it(not sure what yet) and use it in my own developement someday.

[serotoninjunky]

Thanks, 9uh. I actually have wanted to reply to your post about your friend who frequently disappoints you - and I will when I gather my thoughts. While reading it I wanted to jump in on you and marissa's IM - friend relationships can be very difficult to maintain in this decade of your life - so many things change for everyone, including our expectations. So let me cook up some wisdom, and I'll re-read that post and reply.

[tweeeeeek]

i love you mom! and i'll give harry a tounge lashing for you if needed. i've been using the word "dick" alot lately to describe people to themselves and it works nicely.

[serotoninjunky]

So should I hug back? Or should I scream and run out of the house? Should I stand there politely and act all grateful that he has blessed me with a hug? I mean - all of my in-laws will be there, young and old. I have a 6 year old niece and a 7 year old nephew who never see us. Do I want them to have this image of Auntie Susan as the lady who delivered her knee to poor old grandpa Harry's groin? Or Auntie Susan who called poor old grandpa Harry a sorry old stinking MoFo excuse for a father-in-law? I mean - my mother-in-law might get a secret chuckle out of that kind of behavior, but the kiddies will certainly see things differently. Alas, it is all about appearances, right? And fuck me, but I can't help feeling sorry for the old coot. I mean - he's probably just a little crazy, right? I don't want to ruin Pat's dinner - she tries so hard to make everyone around her happy; and she really really loves us all. I could do something discrete like, hug everyone in the room, and when Harry holds out his arms, I'd say something

[hi_amity_an_elk]

it does sound like he's crazy. i don't know, maybe you could call him ahead of time & tell him off? or at least warn him that if he doesn't behave you might? that way you can get it out of your system before everyone is around, & maybe you and he can come to an understanding- such as, there will be no hugging or the consequences will be dire? i don't know, just an idea.

[serotoninjunky]

Good idea - give him fair warning, and then walk in there with the sweetest face and attitude I can muster. Put the ball in his court. Or I could say, no public apology, no huggie. After all he's done and said about me, he should at least have the gonads to say "sorry".

[anonymous]

I don't understand what triggered his hostility? Was there something you did to actually offend Harry?

That Is The Question

[serotoninjunky]

Nobody knows. His x-wife (Larry's mom) speculates that he just doesn't like women. He also doesn't speak to his 18 year old granddaughter, his daughter's child. Nobody knows why. I guess in a conversation he had with several family members, he told them that he resents me because I "trapped" Larry by having a child so soon after getting married. He said something like "She got him to marry him, then she went and got herself pregnant right away". Like some soap opera kind of scenario. First of all, I think it's pretty obvious that I didn't get pregnant all by myself. Secondly, I didn't have my second child for 7 years after that. And of all my 4 children, that second child was the only one we planned on. Tristan was a huge surprise, as was Megan and pretty much Nancy. We of course had a choice with Nancy, as she was adopted, but by then we'd been married for 14 years - and I didn't adopt her all by myself either - Larry wanted her as much as I did. I don't know - it's pretty pathetic that I feel compelled to explain why I