lost

Nov 18, 2010 22:04

working life has gotten the better of me.  i've never been in worst shape ever.  i hate myself, i hate mirrors, i don't take self shots anymore.
it all feels like i'm thankful in the beginning and somewhere inside still i am grateful. but.

maybe i should've waited for the mbs interview. maybe i should've thought about the offer from here.  shoulda woulda coulda...

its like i will never know, and i can't understand why is it so hard to foretell, why can't i make right decisions? this year is really alot of highs and lows.  i've never been more afraid of working than i am now. its like, damn what kind of people are there out there? can things get worst?

i wish i had a buddy at work.  i miss working with cass, i miss the carefree days of sakura even though the bosses get to our nerves. at least i was 'taken care' of.  at least i had a buddy i can confide in without worrying about being backstabbed or told on.

sigh.  can i really make it in life? what do i want out of this?
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