No, I'm not dead yet
It's been almost two years since I last posted to LJ. Wow. I do kinda miss LJ but almost no one really posts here and it doesn't move fast enough for my liking. Life has changed a lot. I'm still with Anthony. I still have Ezekiel. I've gained, lost, and gained a new cat again (Lucy being the lost one and Nemissa being the "new" one). That other one is a bit of a long story, but I don't think it's necessary to talk long about it.
I dropped out of college about a year ago. I do kinda regret it but I feel like I need to grow up before I go back. I kept shitting the bed on my degree so I decided to cut my losses, keep my GPA okay (2.8) and go back when I was going to be more serious about it. I do really still want to do allied health but I just think I'm not meant to be in college at this time. Or I could transition over to some portion of IT, but I dunno. I just feel like that wouldn't be as challenging or as "valuable" to me as something that I believe is meant for the greater good. But alas.
I haven't had a lot of luck concerning jobs since I left Walgreens. I tried housekeeping, decided it wasn't for me, did a call center job before the company closed down abruptly, worked a warehouse job for a week, and now I've been working at an office for 2 months. It's been okay. I like my boss and I'll stick with it as long as I can.
I've moved out of my parent's house with Anthony in an apartment. I do miss my parents but what I miss even more is them having at least an amicable relationship. I've had a feeling for awhile my dad wasn't happy, I just wish he didn't keep a lot of negative to himself and split with my mom the way he did. I know he doesn't love her anymore and hasn't loved her for a long time, it's just I at least wanted him to be happy and at least okay, but I don't know what's up with him. I wish older people were more receptive about going to a psychologist or at least seeking help, but it's his life so whatever.
I've also been trying to lose weight as well. I lost weight like I commented before, but gained back like 30 pounds from my lowest. I'm back at 197, about 6 pounds from my lowest weight. Once I reach 170 I'm considering taking thermogenics and busting my ass off until I hit 150. Then try to widdle down to 130 or so before I go on maintenance and then eventually amateur body building.
It'll take time but I kinda want to go to the military (Either navy, air force, or marines but marines is a long shot, IMO) to make something of myself and develop some skills there. I hate how many naysayers I have in my life though. I've done whatever I put my mind to. Even if I don't end up going to any military branch, I use that to motivate myself to sacrifice my comfort and put myself on a strict eating regiment because I think "Hey, if many people can wake up at 5 in the morning and throw themselves in a hardcore routine I can too".
It's something I can see myself doing realistically if I push myself and see myself attaining the goal instead of trying to get fit to fit into an F21 medium within the next 6 months or wear small Japanese clothing (Which is another goal too).
I just want to change my life, but trying to pick yourself up and work for it is a bitch.
I dropped out of college about a year ago. I do kinda regret it but I feel like I need to grow up before I go back. I kept shitting the bed on my degree so I decided to cut my losses, keep my GPA okay (2.8) and go back when I was going to be more serious about it. I do really still want to do allied health but I just think I'm not meant to be in college at this time. Or I could transition over to some portion of IT, but I dunno. I just feel like that wouldn't be as challenging or as "valuable" to me as something that I believe is meant for the greater good. But alas.
I haven't had a lot of luck concerning jobs since I left Walgreens. I tried housekeeping, decided it wasn't for me, did a call center job before the company closed down abruptly, worked a warehouse job for a week, and now I've been working at an office for 2 months. It's been okay. I like my boss and I'll stick with it as long as I can.
I've moved out of my parent's house with Anthony in an apartment. I do miss my parents but what I miss even more is them having at least an amicable relationship. I've had a feeling for awhile my dad wasn't happy, I just wish he didn't keep a lot of negative to himself and split with my mom the way he did. I know he doesn't love her anymore and hasn't loved her for a long time, it's just I at least wanted him to be happy and at least okay, but I don't know what's up with him. I wish older people were more receptive about going to a psychologist or at least seeking help, but it's his life so whatever.
I've also been trying to lose weight as well. I lost weight like I commented before, but gained back like 30 pounds from my lowest. I'm back at 197, about 6 pounds from my lowest weight. Once I reach 170 I'm considering taking thermogenics and busting my ass off until I hit 150. Then try to widdle down to 130 or so before I go on maintenance and then eventually amateur body building.
It'll take time but I kinda want to go to the military (Either navy, air force, or marines but marines is a long shot, IMO) to make something of myself and develop some skills there. I hate how many naysayers I have in my life though. I've done whatever I put my mind to. Even if I don't end up going to any military branch, I use that to motivate myself to sacrifice my comfort and put myself on a strict eating regiment because I think "Hey, if many people can wake up at 5 in the morning and throw themselves in a hardcore routine I can too".
It's something I can see myself doing realistically if I push myself and see myself attaining the goal instead of trying to get fit to fit into an F21 medium within the next 6 months or wear small Japanese clothing (Which is another goal too).
I just want to change my life, but trying to pick yourself up and work for it is a bitch.