move along.
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so, repair guy came and fixed a shit-ton of stuff today.
he was here yesterday fixing stuff too.
mom wrote a letter to twinbrook and now they're fixing shit.
so yesterday he was here and fixed the sliding glass door and the closet doors in the hallway.
today he came in and fixed the screen door, the cabinets under the sink and stove, had a guy replace the faucet, and came back and installed a bathroom fan.
tomorrow they're coming back to finish another cabinet, replace the thermostat, and i think they're going to look at our stove and oven. they both need to be replaced.
and then anna's moving out this week.
and then mom's going to get them to start doing the floors. there's going to be a day that i'm homeless, it's gonna be so awesome.
i called up borders today to see if i could get my job back. since it was attendance related, they can't do anything about it. rebecca said she's love to have me back but can't do anything.
i didn't get to work on my appeal letter at all.
i learned how to do my own make up and straighten my own hair. i'm going to dye it soon. on my own.
it's snowing.
i feel like such crap, too. i used to relish being "independent" to a point....but now i'm considerably more lonely. and i feel like on a level, this is just how the process works. but on another, i feel like everyone is just going to ignore me no matter what. and i guess i need it, deserve it, whatever. i need to tend to my own business....but i feel horribly rejected by everyone even when no one has done anything to really reject me. kyle, dan and stasia for the most part. and at the same time, i feel like everyone just talks about me behind my back. or everyone is doing something to trick me so they can make fun of me later.
i just want to paint that door. i just want to get to school. i just want a job. these are simple things? come on. what the fuck. i hate this back and forth feeling. i'll get myself feeling good and i'll build some steam and then something just knocks me back to where i was. i feel like i'm so easily deflated. and unaccomplished. mom says today was an improvement and that it's something to build on. i see it...but don't feel it. at least not now. it feels like i'm just in my own way constantly.
blah blah blah drama and desponance.
i guess in this area i haven't changed much since high school.
what a shame.
so, repair guy came and fixed a shit-ton of stuff today.
he was here yesterday fixing stuff too.
mom wrote a letter to twinbrook and now they're fixing shit.
so yesterday he was here and fixed the sliding glass door and the closet doors in the hallway.
today he came in and fixed the screen door, the cabinets under the sink and stove, had a guy replace the faucet, and came back and installed a bathroom fan.
tomorrow they're coming back to finish another cabinet, replace the thermostat, and i think they're going to look at our stove and oven. they both need to be replaced.
and then anna's moving out this week.
and then mom's going to get them to start doing the floors. there's going to be a day that i'm homeless, it's gonna be so awesome.
i called up borders today to see if i could get my job back. since it was attendance related, they can't do anything about it. rebecca said she's love to have me back but can't do anything.
i didn't get to work on my appeal letter at all.
i learned how to do my own make up and straighten my own hair. i'm going to dye it soon. on my own.
it's snowing.
i feel like such crap, too. i used to relish being "independent" to a point....but now i'm considerably more lonely. and i feel like on a level, this is just how the process works. but on another, i feel like everyone is just going to ignore me no matter what. and i guess i need it, deserve it, whatever. i need to tend to my own business....but i feel horribly rejected by everyone even when no one has done anything to really reject me. kyle, dan and stasia for the most part. and at the same time, i feel like everyone just talks about me behind my back. or everyone is doing something to trick me so they can make fun of me later.
i just want to paint that door. i just want to get to school. i just want a job. these are simple things? come on. what the fuck. i hate this back and forth feeling. i'll get myself feeling good and i'll build some steam and then something just knocks me back to where i was. i feel like i'm so easily deflated. and unaccomplished. mom says today was an improvement and that it's something to build on. i see it...but don't feel it. at least not now. it feels like i'm just in my own way constantly.
blah blah blah drama and desponance.
i guess in this area i haven't changed much since high school.
what a shame.