Quitter.
The perpetual apocalypse is happening and has been for a long time now. Months, years, perhaps centuries or millenia. It marches on, destroying everything in it's path and giving birth to new trails and trees in it's wake.
A part o f me is screaming "If you don't sleep now, you will lose all of this." When really it's just the anxiety. I've forgotten where I'm writing anymore or what life it is I am living.
I'm turning 20 in approximately 5 days.
I feel so ridiculously sophomoric. Foolishly wise as I step forward with my weird haphazard life.
I go back to closing the cafe again on Sunday. It's kind of weird losing all the cafe people so quickly. It's awesome for the tips. Shitty for the lack of flexibility and/or companionship.
I've felt very solitary lately. Perhaps it's just been the past week, but it's been growing since I started feeling bad about things. Sometimes I just want to be alone and keep myself that way, other times I get lonely and want to be with someone. I've come to realize that I can stave off the lonely feeling long enough and then i'll be good to be by myself again. Also, watching Scrubs endlessly helps. House is next on the list. At least there are only 5 seasons.
The rest of this year is going to be a certain way. Not because it has been fated, but because I know that in order for things to work out in a fashion that I approve of, it has to be this way. Which means I have to really return to my roots of saving like a real jew and making do with what I have. I am pretty money smart when I'm not grocery shopping while hungry.
I'm having a party on Saturday. I've invited almost everyone I know in the area. Well, everyone that I like in the area. That I'm friends with, I should say. It should be interesting.
A part o f me is screaming "If you don't sleep now, you will lose all of this." When really it's just the anxiety. I've forgotten where I'm writing anymore or what life it is I am living.
I'm turning 20 in approximately 5 days.
I feel so ridiculously sophomoric. Foolishly wise as I step forward with my weird haphazard life.
I go back to closing the cafe again on Sunday. It's kind of weird losing all the cafe people so quickly. It's awesome for the tips. Shitty for the lack of flexibility and/or companionship.
I've felt very solitary lately. Perhaps it's just been the past week, but it's been growing since I started feeling bad about things. Sometimes I just want to be alone and keep myself that way, other times I get lonely and want to be with someone. I've come to realize that I can stave off the lonely feeling long enough and then i'll be good to be by myself again. Also, watching Scrubs endlessly helps. House is next on the list. At least there are only 5 seasons.
The rest of this year is going to be a certain way. Not because it has been fated, but because I know that in order for things to work out in a fashion that I approve of, it has to be this way. Which means I have to really return to my roots of saving like a real jew and making do with what I have. I am pretty money smart when I'm not grocery shopping while hungry.
I'm having a party on Saturday. I've invited almost everyone I know in the area. Well, everyone that I like in the area. That I'm friends with, I should say. It should be interesting.