New Lesson
So...I really have to learn how to spend time on my own. And not forget me. Sometimes I ignore the most person in my life. You know,...me?
I've spoken to a few more people at length about my recent "problem," the hysterics, the irrational fears, the scary urges (that I'm smart enough and strong enough to suppress), all that jazz. Each time I speak about it, I find it becomes more subtle. I also find that the listener, no matter how supportive and non-judgmental they are, tends to seem a little horrified themselves. Or maybe they're just worried about me. I don't know. I mean, it has only been 4 years since I was under the pressure of this. And god knows how many years before that. I don't know what to call it, a disorder? Maybe just fear? Depression? Dissociated Depression? Maybe? I have no idea. But it weighs on my heart and it hurts.
Also...I think I'm losing playmates. Er...lost. I'm not sure. But really...I want to do something awesome...all my friends from Brookdale want to play D&D. I'm a little angry at them, D&D can be really fun, but what about the other parts of someone's life? Do those exist at all? You can role play without having to pay for cards or weapons or points. I'm sure you guys remember being younger when no one gave a fuck about points. Come on. Storytelling and games can sometimes come together in a not-so-awesome mix. Roll again.
"Jerry! Hug!!!" -leans against Jerry's chest-
"Okay."
-continues leaning with arms at sides- "Why aren't you hugging me?"
"I haven't rolled initiative yet."
The Nomad times are upon us again. Where's my fuckin' army of travelers?
-Magz.
PS--anyone know of the band Ra? I want more of their music..and of course for free. Know where I can get it? Know of any artist like them?
I've spoken to a few more people at length about my recent "problem," the hysterics, the irrational fears, the scary urges (that I'm smart enough and strong enough to suppress), all that jazz. Each time I speak about it, I find it becomes more subtle. I also find that the listener, no matter how supportive and non-judgmental they are, tends to seem a little horrified themselves. Or maybe they're just worried about me. I don't know. I mean, it has only been 4 years since I was under the pressure of this. And god knows how many years before that. I don't know what to call it, a disorder? Maybe just fear? Depression? Dissociated Depression? Maybe? I have no idea. But it weighs on my heart and it hurts.
Also...I think I'm losing playmates. Er...lost. I'm not sure. But really...I want to do something awesome...all my friends from Brookdale want to play D&D. I'm a little angry at them, D&D can be really fun, but what about the other parts of someone's life? Do those exist at all? You can role play without having to pay for cards or weapons or points. I'm sure you guys remember being younger when no one gave a fuck about points. Come on. Storytelling and games can sometimes come together in a not-so-awesome mix. Roll again.
"Jerry! Hug!!!" -leans against Jerry's chest-
"Okay."
-continues leaning with arms at sides- "Why aren't you hugging me?"
"I haven't rolled initiative yet."
The Nomad times are upon us again. Where's my fuckin' army of travelers?
-Magz.
PS--anyone know of the band Ra? I want more of their music..and of course for free. Know where I can get it? Know of any artist like them?