Diamonds: The Greatest Marketing Scam of All Time
So I was having lunch today with 2 of my colleagues, both of whom are married and we started talking about weddings, marriage, the cost of living in Singapore etc. and somehow we ended up on this favorite topic of all girls who are in a loving, mature and ready-to-move-to-the-next level relationship with their partners: the engagement ring.
It was interesting that I was with these 2 particular colleagues as they gave me 2 very interesting perspectives on the concept of an "a diamond engagement ring". Colleague A does not see the importance of a diamond ring and did not ask for one but her husband gave her one anyway for formality. Colleague B, on the other hand, sees the importance of a diamond ring and loves it. Now, don't get me wrong ladies. I love diamond rings, even though I know that the De Beer's family came up with the greatest marketing scam ever known to mankind. However, I find myself torn between the 2 concepts. On top of that, how is it that we allowed one (or a group of) man/men convince us that diamond rings is the way (and probably the only way) for a guy to propose to a girl, and to pledge his undying love and devotion to her. It has almost been ingrained in us that without a ring, a guy cannot propose to a girl and they are, in fact, not engaged.
This led me to think of this one question which has been eating at me all day: just how important is the diamond ring to me? Am I putting a piece of stone in the way of my happiness and letting that be the measure of my boyfriend's love for me?
I have been thinking about this all day and my conclusion is this: I have no conclusion. I am still torn after almost 12hrs of thinking about this.
Let me try to be a human and rationalize this:
I know that diamond rings are just rings and is definitely not a symbol of my boyfriend's love for me. Plus, it is definitely not a measure of how much he loves me. I shouldn't be letting a rock dictate that. And yet, I find myself being unable to truly accept a proposal unless it comes with a diamond ring. A minimum of $2,500 needs to be spent on a decent diamond ring. Let's just talk about a simple, brilliant round 0.71 carat diamond ring with VS2 and F color. That would easily cost you $5,000 at an independent jeweller. Wouldn't that $5,000 be better spent on the house, or kids, or a nice trip just the 2 of us? Yes, all this is true. That $5,000 can go a long way in providing for another person. That $5,000 could help us get married now. Please, that $5,000 is almost two months worth of salary! Do I need that $5,000 to be spent on a rock? Fine, let's be reasonable, let's say we don't need such an expensive ring with such good specifications for the diamond. Let's say we settle for something at the $2,500 to $3,000 range. That is still a lot of money. That $3,000 can contribute to the downpayment of the house.
Now, let's put aside the incredulous prices for a rock and ask ourselves, why do we need that rock?
I have come to this conclusion: society has brainwashed us into thinking that it is necessary for a guy to buy a diamond ring to propose to a girl because she's worth it. But does is that really what it means? Or is it just another way for people to make money? It is believed that only with a diamond ring can the engagement be formalized. But is this really the case? Why is this becoming about the engagement? Shouldn't it be about the marriage -- about two people coming together to become one because of their love and devotion to each other -- shouldn't this be about the union of two souls that God has brought together? Shouldn't this be about two families being joined together by the ones they love dearly. Isn't this about the couple getting married and not a rock? Yes, it should be. This is about the holy matrimony between two families, two people, and between the couple and God. And yet, somewhere along the way, it has become all about the engagement. Somewhere along the way, we lost focus and the diamond ring has become a clause in wanting to marry someone: "if you don't propose to me with a diamond ring, I won't marry you". I'm not saying I've heard people say that but I'm just verbalizing what I find is the unspoken sentiment amongst girls.
And so, after all these reasons and conflict within my heart, I know in my head that a diamond ring is not necessary for me to be happy and for me to join my boyfriend in holy matrimony. It makes so much sense to me after verbalizing all this, that the focus should not be on the $5,000 diamond ring but about the wedding itself. Yet, at the end of this post, I still can't come to terms with not having an engagement ring. Still I find the battle raging within my heart between the yes and the no.
I'm going to have to come to terms with this somehow. Suggestions anyone?
It was interesting that I was with these 2 particular colleagues as they gave me 2 very interesting perspectives on the concept of an "a diamond engagement ring". Colleague A does not see the importance of a diamond ring and did not ask for one but her husband gave her one anyway for formality. Colleague B, on the other hand, sees the importance of a diamond ring and loves it. Now, don't get me wrong ladies. I love diamond rings, even though I know that the De Beer's family came up with the greatest marketing scam ever known to mankind. However, I find myself torn between the 2 concepts. On top of that, how is it that we allowed one (or a group of) man/men convince us that diamond rings is the way (and probably the only way) for a guy to propose to a girl, and to pledge his undying love and devotion to her. It has almost been ingrained in us that without a ring, a guy cannot propose to a girl and they are, in fact, not engaged.
This led me to think of this one question which has been eating at me all day: just how important is the diamond ring to me? Am I putting a piece of stone in the way of my happiness and letting that be the measure of my boyfriend's love for me?
I have been thinking about this all day and my conclusion is this: I have no conclusion. I am still torn after almost 12hrs of thinking about this.
Let me try to be a human and rationalize this:
I know that diamond rings are just rings and is definitely not a symbol of my boyfriend's love for me. Plus, it is definitely not a measure of how much he loves me. I shouldn't be letting a rock dictate that. And yet, I find myself being unable to truly accept a proposal unless it comes with a diamond ring. A minimum of $2,500 needs to be spent on a decent diamond ring. Let's just talk about a simple, brilliant round 0.71 carat diamond ring with VS2 and F color. That would easily cost you $5,000 at an independent jeweller. Wouldn't that $5,000 be better spent on the house, or kids, or a nice trip just the 2 of us? Yes, all this is true. That $5,000 can go a long way in providing for another person. That $5,000 could help us get married now. Please, that $5,000 is almost two months worth of salary! Do I need that $5,000 to be spent on a rock? Fine, let's be reasonable, let's say we don't need such an expensive ring with such good specifications for the diamond. Let's say we settle for something at the $2,500 to $3,000 range. That is still a lot of money. That $3,000 can contribute to the downpayment of the house.
Now, let's put aside the incredulous prices for a rock and ask ourselves, why do we need that rock?
I have come to this conclusion: society has brainwashed us into thinking that it is necessary for a guy to buy a diamond ring to propose to a girl because she's worth it. But does is that really what it means? Or is it just another way for people to make money? It is believed that only with a diamond ring can the engagement be formalized. But is this really the case? Why is this becoming about the engagement? Shouldn't it be about the marriage -- about two people coming together to become one because of their love and devotion to each other -- shouldn't this be about the union of two souls that God has brought together? Shouldn't this be about two families being joined together by the ones they love dearly. Isn't this about the couple getting married and not a rock? Yes, it should be. This is about the holy matrimony between two families, two people, and between the couple and God. And yet, somewhere along the way, it has become all about the engagement. Somewhere along the way, we lost focus and the diamond ring has become a clause in wanting to marry someone: "if you don't propose to me with a diamond ring, I won't marry you". I'm not saying I've heard people say that but I'm just verbalizing what I find is the unspoken sentiment amongst girls.
And so, after all these reasons and conflict within my heart, I know in my head that a diamond ring is not necessary for me to be happy and for me to join my boyfriend in holy matrimony. It makes so much sense to me after verbalizing all this, that the focus should not be on the $5,000 diamond ring but about the wedding itself. Yet, at the end of this post, I still can't come to terms with not having an engagement ring. Still I find the battle raging within my heart between the yes and the no.
I'm going to have to come to terms with this somehow. Suggestions anyone?