Catching up:
FALL 2008
------------
ENGL-1302-07 (63302) Comp II
BIOL-1308-02 (65566) Biological Concepts I
Ideally there would have been a third class, but I unfortunately did not have the proper pre-requisites to enroll in it, as well as not being able to run those credentials concurrent with the classes during a single semester. I remember that when I signed on for these classes, these 6 credit hours worth of classes, my rationale was that I was trying to keep myself from getting burned out on college without taking a complete semester off.
Looking back on it now, I can see that I was just trying as hard as possible not to admit that I was being lazy. There's not a whole lot about this early semester that I can remember that doesn't involve having fallen into routine with my 3 day per week class schedule. At the time, I was convinced that I would be leaving Brownsville and moving in with my brother when I transferred to the University of North Texas at Denton. I was hyped up about leaving town and continuing my education at a little more distinguished of an institute, but again, I'd be lying if I said that my main motive for leaving had very little to do with pursuing a degree. Quite frankly, I was following my heart. Whether or not that makes me some kind of grand romantic or the dumbest man alive...well...the jury is still out on that one. As far as she and I go, things aren't quite ideal, nor have they progressed in the way I wanted them to, but they've progressed nonetheless. Our relationship is....there. It's definitely there; in tact and strong. It might not be totally romantic in nature, but that undeniable "it" factor that constantly lingers in the air is very much still there, and I know that she's definitely one of the people that I need to keep close in my life, and vice versa. We're each other's pillars...that's really the best way to put it.
Sort of went off on a tangent, but bear with me; it's going somewhere. Shortly before we saw each other again for the Thanksgiving holidays, something snapped in me. I realized that my grand romantic gesture wasn't really going to work...nor was it really much of a good idea on *MY* end. Oh sure, my heart was most definitely in the right place, and my brain wasn't too far behind, but not getting into UNT was what really proved to be the wrench tossed into the gears of my plan. Taking time off from school and working really wasn't going to get me anywhere. Sure, I could have paid off some of the debt I've accrued since...sheesh...since 2004 when I was at the Valley Grande Institute for the Radiology program. Sure, the independence and new atmosphere would have been pretty exciting. But would I have wanted to go back to school when the opportunity presented itself again? Probably not. College is hard, especially if you're pursuing a worthwhile degree and hoping to extend beyond to a graduate program afterward. Let's face it; our brains are hard-wired to the point where if we won't work very hard if we don't have to. I know myself well enough, and I know that I would have fallen into that funk. If I learned anything from my independent construction and maintenance work this past Summer (asides from welding and such), it's that as much as I love manual labor, it's not something I really want to be doing from my age up until I retire.
If I'm going to make anything of myself, I need to just buckle down, man up, and throw myself into the lion's den. I switched my major to Biology, since science has always been a love of mine, and I also voluntarily signed up for a more rough schedule this coming semester;
SPRING 2009
------------
ENGL-2333-04 (68706) World Literature Since 1660
GEOL-1303-02 (68951) Physical Geology
GEOL-1103-01 (68941) Physical Geology Laboratory
MATH-0422-02 (69501) Intermediate Algebra
GOVT-2302-11 (68994) American Government & Policy
I'm back to a 5 day schedule again, and while Physical Geology sounds cool, the lab portion is going to have me on campus until 10 PM on Mondays. I'm taking Gov. with Professor Bocanegra again. That one's a big caveat in itself, as he's one of those guys who doesn't give homework, nor does he force you to attend class. However, his lectures are excruciatingly dull, and his exams (the only method of attaining grades in there) are BRUTAL. Intermediate Algebra is what really has me sweating. Mathematics have neverrrrr been my strong point, hence why I haven't even made it to College Algebra yet. It's going to be a trial by fire. I can't just train myself to be able to pass one single course and then promptly forget everything again...noooo no, I absolutely have to learn this stuff from the ground up and keep it firmly lodged in my brain from here on out. Anything less than that simply is not an option.
If I can finish all of this up, I'll take College Algebra for either Summer I or II. When Fall 2009 rolls around, I should have all of the credentials I need to be able to apply for the MBRS-RISE program for Biology majors. It's a VERY strict program that is VERY picky about the candidates, but they'll give you a $7,000 grant and put you to work in a laboratory. Of course it's not all fun and games; you're expected to approach this as if you're already a scientist working in the field, and in addition to lab work, I'll be working with and for other scientists, having to attend a variety of seminars and other activities, all while having to be enrolled in a 12 credit hour class schedule and maintain a 2.5 GPA. But, the benefits of this (aside from the cash) are invaluable, as it's virtually a foot-in-the-door to being able to get into a graduate program; and I'm aiming for Bioinformatics with Specialty in Bio-Medical Methods and Applications. Awesome.
The sense of personal growth I've felt during the past month or so has been tremendous, but it's also been somewhat offset by the realizations that I have a daunting schedule ahead of me, as well as looking for steady employment, and trying to move out sometime within the next three months. I've got all sorts of shit I need to pay off; Valley Grande Institute, Guitar Center, UTB student loans, and now my new car (2009 Ford Focus, if you're curious).
Still, I'm never going to get anywhere unless I face these things head on. I can't look back and I can't doubt myself anymore. That part of my life is over. Now is the time in which I need to rise to the top and take a hold of all of the things that I want for myself in life. Besides, nothing worth having in life ever comes easy, right?
------------
ENGL-1302-07 (63302) Comp II
BIOL-1308-02 (65566) Biological Concepts I
Ideally there would have been a third class, but I unfortunately did not have the proper pre-requisites to enroll in it, as well as not being able to run those credentials concurrent with the classes during a single semester. I remember that when I signed on for these classes, these 6 credit hours worth of classes, my rationale was that I was trying to keep myself from getting burned out on college without taking a complete semester off.
Looking back on it now, I can see that I was just trying as hard as possible not to admit that I was being lazy. There's not a whole lot about this early semester that I can remember that doesn't involve having fallen into routine with my 3 day per week class schedule. At the time, I was convinced that I would be leaving Brownsville and moving in with my brother when I transferred to the University of North Texas at Denton. I was hyped up about leaving town and continuing my education at a little more distinguished of an institute, but again, I'd be lying if I said that my main motive for leaving had very little to do with pursuing a degree. Quite frankly, I was following my heart. Whether or not that makes me some kind of grand romantic or the dumbest man alive...well...the jury is still out on that one. As far as she and I go, things aren't quite ideal, nor have they progressed in the way I wanted them to, but they've progressed nonetheless. Our relationship is....there. It's definitely there; in tact and strong. It might not be totally romantic in nature, but that undeniable "it" factor that constantly lingers in the air is very much still there, and I know that she's definitely one of the people that I need to keep close in my life, and vice versa. We're each other's pillars...that's really the best way to put it.
Sort of went off on a tangent, but bear with me; it's going somewhere. Shortly before we saw each other again for the Thanksgiving holidays, something snapped in me. I realized that my grand romantic gesture wasn't really going to work...nor was it really much of a good idea on *MY* end. Oh sure, my heart was most definitely in the right place, and my brain wasn't too far behind, but not getting into UNT was what really proved to be the wrench tossed into the gears of my plan. Taking time off from school and working really wasn't going to get me anywhere. Sure, I could have paid off some of the debt I've accrued since...sheesh...since 2004 when I was at the Valley Grande Institute for the Radiology program. Sure, the independence and new atmosphere would have been pretty exciting. But would I have wanted to go back to school when the opportunity presented itself again? Probably not. College is hard, especially if you're pursuing a worthwhile degree and hoping to extend beyond to a graduate program afterward. Let's face it; our brains are hard-wired to the point where if we won't work very hard if we don't have to. I know myself well enough, and I know that I would have fallen into that funk. If I learned anything from my independent construction and maintenance work this past Summer (asides from welding and such), it's that as much as I love manual labor, it's not something I really want to be doing from my age up until I retire.
If I'm going to make anything of myself, I need to just buckle down, man up, and throw myself into the lion's den. I switched my major to Biology, since science has always been a love of mine, and I also voluntarily signed up for a more rough schedule this coming semester;
SPRING 2009
------------
ENGL-2333-04 (68706) World Literature Since 1660
GEOL-1303-02 (68951) Physical Geology
GEOL-1103-01 (68941) Physical Geology Laboratory
MATH-0422-02 (69501) Intermediate Algebra
GOVT-2302-11 (68994) American Government & Policy
I'm back to a 5 day schedule again, and while Physical Geology sounds cool, the lab portion is going to have me on campus until 10 PM on Mondays. I'm taking Gov. with Professor Bocanegra again. That one's a big caveat in itself, as he's one of those guys who doesn't give homework, nor does he force you to attend class. However, his lectures are excruciatingly dull, and his exams (the only method of attaining grades in there) are BRUTAL. Intermediate Algebra is what really has me sweating. Mathematics have neverrrrr been my strong point, hence why I haven't even made it to College Algebra yet. It's going to be a trial by fire. I can't just train myself to be able to pass one single course and then promptly forget everything again...noooo no, I absolutely have to learn this stuff from the ground up and keep it firmly lodged in my brain from here on out. Anything less than that simply is not an option.
If I can finish all of this up, I'll take College Algebra for either Summer I or II. When Fall 2009 rolls around, I should have all of the credentials I need to be able to apply for the MBRS-RISE program for Biology majors. It's a VERY strict program that is VERY picky about the candidates, but they'll give you a $7,000 grant and put you to work in a laboratory. Of course it's not all fun and games; you're expected to approach this as if you're already a scientist working in the field, and in addition to lab work, I'll be working with and for other scientists, having to attend a variety of seminars and other activities, all while having to be enrolled in a 12 credit hour class schedule and maintain a 2.5 GPA. But, the benefits of this (aside from the cash) are invaluable, as it's virtually a foot-in-the-door to being able to get into a graduate program; and I'm aiming for Bioinformatics with Specialty in Bio-Medical Methods and Applications. Awesome.
The sense of personal growth I've felt during the past month or so has been tremendous, but it's also been somewhat offset by the realizations that I have a daunting schedule ahead of me, as well as looking for steady employment, and trying to move out sometime within the next three months. I've got all sorts of shit I need to pay off; Valley Grande Institute, Guitar Center, UTB student loans, and now my new car (2009 Ford Focus, if you're curious).
Still, I'm never going to get anywhere unless I face these things head on. I can't look back and I can't doubt myself anymore. That part of my life is over. Now is the time in which I need to rise to the top and take a hold of all of the things that I want for myself in life. Besides, nothing worth having in life ever comes easy, right?