babblements
Below is a segment written by a friend of mine named Carly Kaatz. She's an exceptional writer and one of my few but amazing female friends. It's called "How many do you have to kiss?" In reference to the frog prince legend, and just regular frogs. Take a look:
"Life is never what the books say it is. Even those heart wrenching life stories that we're all supposed to be able to identify with. Those volumes of Chicken soup formed to paperback and little handy helpings that fit in our book bags make us tear and laugh with memories invoked by the tales there enclosed. But we eventually whine that it's not the same and nothing could possibly be that way for us.
This scenario has long annoyed me, because not only do I remain lost and confused, but I haven't been able to figure out the flaw in their effectiveness. But now, I think I've solved my mystery: all their stories end, and not only have they reached a conclusion, but it's always "happily ever after." What is happily ever after to someone who is still struggling with no end in sight? It's Cinderella's fairy tale that no one grounded in the muck of reality can believe-can let themselves believe. It's just not real.
A friend of mine who has fought through the thicket of brier, scaled Rapunzel's hair and awakened his princess has often assured me of my greatness and appeal. He has on many occasions told me what a blessing it was to find his angel and that one day my prince will come riding bareback on a white horse. With a wink he adds that it's the prince who is bare-backed. Nice image, I have to admit, but do I believe it? I don't know. I'm not as grounded in reality as most of the world tends to be, and sometimes, I let myself see through the eyes of a fairytale. I hone my vision for prince charming and all around me I simply see frogs and toads. I suppose one of them could be my prince charming under a classic witch's spell, a true frog prince come to life. So then the real question becomes: just how many do you have to kiss?"
I kept this email because I really loved the writing, but also I really like what she said. She has a great sense of humor. Both she and I have had our number of failed relationships. I look back on it and wonder how we made half the choices we did. Sort of frightening really. However, we both learned important lessons, and I can vouch for Carly, if not for myself, that each experience helped us mature. But what I have to wonder, is if there really is just one person for you. Are you really destined for one prince? Are you destined at all?
Now, if you know me I don't really put much faith in fate. In fact, the idea of a "fate" sort of bugs me. I like, or would like, to think that we all have control of our own destinies. I think it's be horrible if we didn't. Not to say that I have ruled out all possibilities of a higher power, because I haven't. I do honestly believe that there is something greater giving us a little bit of direction and purpose, but making it impossible for us to truly have free will? I hear a lot of people say that they don't believe in any sort of a god because they wonder "why does god allow suffering?" Least he/she/it be a cruel god of course. Well, I have come to wonder rather why WE allow suffering. Why do we allow horrible things to happen? Think of the Holocaust for example, why did human beings not just allow, but make that happen? It's inhumane. I believe we as humans have it within ourselves to be both good and evil. I know myself that I have been both. Which is why I believe I have a choice. When someone bad mouths me, I have the ability to either punch them, or walk away and not are. Just like my friends have the ability to believe what the person says, or have faith in me. It's that simple. By the same token, I believe that I have a choice when it comes to love. Not to say that I can choose who I love and who I don't. I'll admit that frequently I have fallen in love with people against my will and better judgment, but what I can do is choose how I love. I can choose to hurt myself, wishing for them or be satisfied with what I have, because what I have realized is that just because someone doesn't love me that way I want them to, doesn't mean they don't love me at all.
What I think I'm trying to say, after all that ranting, is really what Jack Sparrow says in Pirates of the Caribbean. It's about what you can and can't do. I can't control "fate," and i can't make people love/hate/etc me. But I can choose how I react to that.
"Life is never what the books say it is. Even those heart wrenching life stories that we're all supposed to be able to identify with. Those volumes of Chicken soup formed to paperback and little handy helpings that fit in our book bags make us tear and laugh with memories invoked by the tales there enclosed. But we eventually whine that it's not the same and nothing could possibly be that way for us.
This scenario has long annoyed me, because not only do I remain lost and confused, but I haven't been able to figure out the flaw in their effectiveness. But now, I think I've solved my mystery: all their stories end, and not only have they reached a conclusion, but it's always "happily ever after." What is happily ever after to someone who is still struggling with no end in sight? It's Cinderella's fairy tale that no one grounded in the muck of reality can believe-can let themselves believe. It's just not real.
A friend of mine who has fought through the thicket of brier, scaled Rapunzel's hair and awakened his princess has often assured me of my greatness and appeal. He has on many occasions told me what a blessing it was to find his angel and that one day my prince will come riding bareback on a white horse. With a wink he adds that it's the prince who is bare-backed. Nice image, I have to admit, but do I believe it? I don't know. I'm not as grounded in reality as most of the world tends to be, and sometimes, I let myself see through the eyes of a fairytale. I hone my vision for prince charming and all around me I simply see frogs and toads. I suppose one of them could be my prince charming under a classic witch's spell, a true frog prince come to life. So then the real question becomes: just how many do you have to kiss?"
I kept this email because I really loved the writing, but also I really like what she said. She has a great sense of humor. Both she and I have had our number of failed relationships. I look back on it and wonder how we made half the choices we did. Sort of frightening really. However, we both learned important lessons, and I can vouch for Carly, if not for myself, that each experience helped us mature. But what I have to wonder, is if there really is just one person for you. Are you really destined for one prince? Are you destined at all?
Now, if you know me I don't really put much faith in fate. In fact, the idea of a "fate" sort of bugs me. I like, or would like, to think that we all have control of our own destinies. I think it's be horrible if we didn't. Not to say that I have ruled out all possibilities of a higher power, because I haven't. I do honestly believe that there is something greater giving us a little bit of direction and purpose, but making it impossible for us to truly have free will? I hear a lot of people say that they don't believe in any sort of a god because they wonder "why does god allow suffering?" Least he/she/it be a cruel god of course. Well, I have come to wonder rather why WE allow suffering. Why do we allow horrible things to happen? Think of the Holocaust for example, why did human beings not just allow, but make that happen? It's inhumane. I believe we as humans have it within ourselves to be both good and evil. I know myself that I have been both. Which is why I believe I have a choice. When someone bad mouths me, I have the ability to either punch them, or walk away and not are. Just like my friends have the ability to believe what the person says, or have faith in me. It's that simple. By the same token, I believe that I have a choice when it comes to love. Not to say that I can choose who I love and who I don't. I'll admit that frequently I have fallen in love with people against my will and better judgment, but what I can do is choose how I love. I can choose to hurt myself, wishing for them or be satisfied with what I have, because what I have realized is that just because someone doesn't love me that way I want them to, doesn't mean they don't love me at all.
What I think I'm trying to say, after all that ranting, is really what Jack Sparrow says in Pirates of the Caribbean. It's about what you can and can't do. I can't control "fate," and i can't make people love/hate/etc me. But I can choose how I react to that.