Falling Slowly: Chapter 3
Chapter 3: Far Apart
I found out that we were doing The Phantom of the Opera for the next production. As Ma’am Lolita promised, I was taking the lead role none other than Christine Daae. The crew in Broadway was a crew of professionals. It was amazing to be with them. They’re all so friendly. Robert, the one playing as Phantom was very passionate, it almost felt real. Robert’s smooth black hair reminded me of Adam’s hair two years ago back when we were still working together. He had pretty long bangs that were on the side. It looked really nice to touch. And Robert was down-to-earth. He was really nice and I felt his compassion. Kristoffer, who plays the role of Raul on the other hand, was a funny guy around my age. He was charming and he loved to make people laugh, but knew when to be serious at the same time. The two leading men were about my age. I liked the gentleness of Robert, and I liked the humor of Kristoffer. They made me forget about not being able to keep in touch with Adam, at least for awhile every time I spent time with them.
But without them around, I still get reminded of the fact that I haven’t talked to Adam and have the urge. I was still hopeless with having any contact with him. I didn’t know how to get his contact. And besides, he wouldn’t have time for me. I knew that for myself better than anyone else. He was in American Idol now and he lives his own life now. I didn’t want to get in the way from fulfilling his dreams.
I sat down on the stage, reading the script during break time.
“Hey, Dessie,” It was Robert.
“Hey, what’s up, Bert?” I turned my head to glance at him. He took a seat beside me.
“You’re memorizing your script?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure I memorize everything.” I looked into his eyes. That was when I realized how beautiful his eyes were. It was deep and emerald green. He had a nice smile. I felt like I was mesmerized by his charm for a second until he cut me off.
“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to relax sometimes, like tonight. We’ll be rehearsing for awhile tonight and maybe,” he looked down, perhaps finding the right words to say. “Dinner together,” he continued. “You know? Just a friendly dinner thing, what do you say?” He finally finished his sentence.
“Sure.” I smiled in agreement. After all, I liked Robert. He was a really nice guy. He’d make a perfect date.
“So…” He started.
“I’m just in my hotel room. Where do we meet?”
“No, I’ll pick you up at around 8:00pm. I know a really good restaurant around here.” Robert said.
“Cel, it’s just a friendly date. Robert is a nice guy. I know him.” I said to Celine, who was refusal of my dinner date with Robert. I looked at my wardrobe to pick what to wear.
“Dear, how can you say you know him? You just met him for Pete’s sake!” Celine whined as she laid on her stomach on my bed.
“We’ve been working with him for about two weeks now. And besides, I don’t wanna go kissing a guy I don’t know well. This date would be my chance to get to know him better.” I stated with conviction, picking a red cocktail dress.
“You make sense, but how about Adam?!” Celine reminded me. Lost in thought, I didn’t say anything. It took me a moment to search the right words to say.
“I gave up on him.” I lied, feeling hurt inside. I didn’t look up at Celine’s face at all while I chose which shoes to wear.
“But just a few days ago, you…” Celine’s voice lowered.
“Just forget it. Let’s not talk about it, okay?” I demanded. Celine kept quiet.
We were both in silence the whole time I prepared for the date. When I got done, I headed for the door without a word. Celine watched my back as I kept walking. She finally spoke.
“Makes sure he brings something for you.” I heard Celine chuckle. I waved at her as a reply.
I was quite certain that Robert, who was in black suits with blue and black stripes of polo inside and gelled his hair back looking like Elvis a bit, was stunned by my red, v-neck cut-slit red dress and my smooth long brown hair that flowed. He widened his eyes when he saw me coming out of the hotel lobby. I kind of regretted preparing too much for this dinner date. I can’t afford to fall for this guy and vise-versa. What if I don’t see Adam anymore ever again?
Thinking too much, I found myself spacing out until Robert finally said, “Shall we?” With that approach, I nodded and headed to his black car. I wasn’t sure what the brand and model was, but whatever. I wasn’t into cars, after all.
We didn’t speak for the first few minutes of the trip. I felt pretty awkward with all the deafening silence. I tried to think of something to say just to start a conversation. But no words came to my mind. Searching of what to say, I glanced at Robert who was focused on the road, driving the handle carefully. With nothing to say, I looked out at the window instead. The city lights were colorful and bright. It was almost like driving in Vegas. Labels of each store were artistically designed and caught the attention of the eyes of the people around. Some names were catchy and some were obvious that they were night clubs, the last place I’d wish to go here on earth. In one of the bars, a black haired woman wearing black leathered jacket and black shorts with leathered boots came out of the door. It was obvious she was drunk. Drunk at this hour? I thought. The woman walked towards any direction and almost went on the middle of the road. An old man passing by saw her and led her back to the side of the road. I didn’t get to see the rest when we were at the end of the street.
“You alright?” Robert asked me as he drove left, still looking at the road and glanced at me once in awhile.
“Uh, sure, what made you ask that?” I wondered why he asked me. I was perfectly normal.
“You’ve been quiet since you rode the car.” He laughed.
“Oh,” I didn’t know what to say. Maybe I was thinking too much.
“If you don’t wanna go out with me, you can say so. I’m fine with that.”
“N-No! That’s not true! I’d love to go with you.” His comment caught my attention and made me turn to him quickly to prove that I meant my words.
“Great, ‘cause we’re already here.” He stopped on front of an Italian restaurant. He got off the car and opened my door for me.
The restaurant looked quite simple. There was not much that made the restaurant look really special. It just looked expensive. Maybe the food here was really good. There were lots of people. A waiter stood near the entrance, carrying a menu.
“Welcome, sir and ma’am.” The waiter greeted with a smile.
“Seats good for two, please?” Robert requested, entering the restaurant ahead of me. I followed him.
The waiter picked a table on the corner near a window. He pulled the chairs for us to sit on and left us with the menu.
“What do you want?” Robert smiled at me. He had a charming smile.
“Anything will do. I’m fine with any pasta.” I shrugged and tried to avoid his smile.
Robert nodded and looked back at the menu. “They have the best fettucini alfredo here.” He claimed, flashing his white teeth for me to glance at. I forced a smile, nodding. “I think I’d want that.”
Robert raised his right arm to call for a waiter. A waiter approached our table and got a white memo pad from the pocket of his white apron and wrote with a pen which was placed in his chest pocket of the black vest the waiters wore.
“Two orders of fettucini alfredo, please?” Robert told the waiter politely as the waiter wrote down what Robert had said. Then, Robert turned to me.
“I hope you drink wine.”
I glanced at him. “Uh, yeah, I do.”
“Good, good,” He said, turning back to the waiter. “and a bottle of red wine.”
The waiter nodded, got the menu and went away.
I felt Robert’s eyes staring at me, though I never bothered to stare back at him. I looked through the window, resting my chin on my hand. I wasn’t used to staring into other men’s eyes unless I had significant feelings for him.
“Dear, are you okay?” Robert asked me, quite concerned of my thinking face. I had to smile at him a bit to show him that I was doing fine.
“I am. Thanks.”
“You don’t look well to me. You look like you’re in deep thought. Come on, Dessie. You can share anything to me. I’ll listen.”
“Thanks, but I’m really okay.” I lied, trying to avoid telling him about how Adam was bothering me.
“No, you’re lying. You’re thinking of something.” He hardened his face a bit to convince me to tell him. I didn’t answer for awhile.
“Okay, maybe I should tell you a bit.” I sighed. But I wasn’t sure where to start. I saw Robert’s face. He was waiting for me to speak.
“It’s not like I’m in love with this guy. It’s just that…” I started, thinking what to tell him next.
“Ah, I get it.” Robert cut me off and continued, “You’re afraid you like someone else and you’re going out with me now? Is that right?” Well apparently, he was correct. I was going out with a guy while I had my mind on someone else. Not my heart, yet. I sat in silence, looking down at my feet.
“Ha ha! Don’t worry! It’s just a friendly date. I just wanted to know my own colleague more!” He laughed.
“Oh,” I sighed, perhaps in relief.
“Tell me,” Robert started. “What’s this guy like? This guy you think of?” He was obviously curious.
“Uh, it’s Adam Lambert.” I sheepishly admitted.
“WHAT!? The one in American Idol, you mean?” Robert laughed loudly. He probably thought I was an obsessed fan girl.
“Yes, b-but it’s not like that! You won’t understand.” I defended. “I used to work with him. I was with him in Wicked two years ago.”
“You’re not kidding.”
“No, I’m not. Do you think I’d invent stories like this?”
“It’s not like that. It’s just that…” He looked away, glancing at his area. I can tell he was trying to avoid staring at me now. I stared at him in wonder.
“What?”
“Never mind,” He shook his head and still stared into space, the he continued, “You just like him, right?”
“Y-Yeah?” Now, I puzzled over his awkward behavior. “I haven’t spoken to him in years.” I added.
Robert nodded and smiled at me. I wish he stops smiling at me sometimes. Thank God the waiter came with our orders. Robert’s attention was drawn by the waiter when he approached our table. The waiter put the wine bottle down and put our pastas on front of us. Then he opened the wine bottle and poured some on our glass. “Enjoy your meal, sir and ma’am.” With that, he went away.
The fettucini was in place nicely on its plate. The pasta was covered neatly with fresh tomato sauce and had an olive leaf on the middle as a decoration. The smell was inviting.
“Well, shall we start?” Robert started. I nodded and Robert lifted his glass. “Cheers.” I lifted my glass against his as a response.
We ate in silence until I decided to break the ice. “How about you?” I questioned, but still focused on my plate as I rolled some pasta on my fork with my left hand.
“What about me?” Robert was puzzled, looking at me.
“You know? You asked me about Adam. So how about you, don’t you have anyone?” I was looking at him now, raising my brow. At my question, Robert laughed.
“No. Well, I used to have a girlfriend. We dated for three years, but she broke up with me before I left for L.A. for a production.” I heard him smirk a bit.
“Why did she do that?” I felt myself sympathizing him.
Robert shrugged and said, “Maybe because she couldn’t handle long-distant relationships. You know? We probably weren’t meant to be together. First of all, we had different worlds. She owned a business company back in Miami, while I’ve been a stage performer forever.” He looked at his plate and rolled some pasta on his fork and put it in his mouth.
“So you thought your relationship won’t turn out well?” I was still looking at him with my fork on my hand.
He swallowed his food and sipped some wine from his glass. He nodded. “It really won’t turn out well if you’re from different worlds, I guess. Maybe it would. But you have to understand each other’s worlds. It’s like adapting different cultures.” He gently shook the wine glass as if stirring the wine. Then he continued, “Plus, I travel different places while she stays in one area. I’m sure she couldn’t bear keeping the relationship while we didn’t see each other.” He sipped from his glass again.
I swallowed my food and sipped some wine, too. Then, I looked up at him. “If you had the chance, would you go back together?”
“I don’t know about that, Odessa.” He shrugged, looking back at me. “I don’t wanna pressure her either. And it’ll be a burden for both of us.”
“Why is that so?”
“It might affect both of our careers. She has a passion for business, and I have a passion for acting. I don’t want ourselves giving up our passions for someone else’s pleasure.”
When we were done, Robert drove me back to the hotel. He got off his car and opened the door on my side for me to get off. “Let me accompany you ‘til your suite.” Robert suggested.
“No, I’ll be fine.” I got off his car. Robert didn’t argue to that.
“Alright,” He nodded.
“Goodnight.” I said.
He smiled at me. I felt like he wanted to follow me. He took a few steps forward towards me. But I didn’t notice anymore when I got inside the hotel lobby.
I got back to my room and laid on my bed once I got in. I stared up at the ceiling, contemplating on what Robert had said. Maybe he was right. His words were convincing. I liked Adam, but we weren’t in the same boat anymore. Adam’s famous now. He was close to the high stardom while I was stuck on stage. He would need a more-private life while I still had my freedom. He was so far away and I don’t get to follow him. Maybe things won’t turn out well even if we ended up together. We were completely in different worlds. I sighed, deep in thought.
I found out that we were doing The Phantom of the Opera for the next production. As Ma’am Lolita promised, I was taking the lead role none other than Christine Daae. The crew in Broadway was a crew of professionals. It was amazing to be with them. They’re all so friendly. Robert, the one playing as Phantom was very passionate, it almost felt real. Robert’s smooth black hair reminded me of Adam’s hair two years ago back when we were still working together. He had pretty long bangs that were on the side. It looked really nice to touch. And Robert was down-to-earth. He was really nice and I felt his compassion. Kristoffer, who plays the role of Raul on the other hand, was a funny guy around my age. He was charming and he loved to make people laugh, but knew when to be serious at the same time. The two leading men were about my age. I liked the gentleness of Robert, and I liked the humor of Kristoffer. They made me forget about not being able to keep in touch with Adam, at least for awhile every time I spent time with them.
But without them around, I still get reminded of the fact that I haven’t talked to Adam and have the urge. I was still hopeless with having any contact with him. I didn’t know how to get his contact. And besides, he wouldn’t have time for me. I knew that for myself better than anyone else. He was in American Idol now and he lives his own life now. I didn’t want to get in the way from fulfilling his dreams.
I sat down on the stage, reading the script during break time.
“Hey, Dessie,” It was Robert.
“Hey, what’s up, Bert?” I turned my head to glance at him. He took a seat beside me.
“You’re memorizing your script?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure I memorize everything.” I looked into his eyes. That was when I realized how beautiful his eyes were. It was deep and emerald green. He had a nice smile. I felt like I was mesmerized by his charm for a second until he cut me off.
“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to relax sometimes, like tonight. We’ll be rehearsing for awhile tonight and maybe,” he looked down, perhaps finding the right words to say. “Dinner together,” he continued. “You know? Just a friendly dinner thing, what do you say?” He finally finished his sentence.
“Sure.” I smiled in agreement. After all, I liked Robert. He was a really nice guy. He’d make a perfect date.
“So…” He started.
“I’m just in my hotel room. Where do we meet?”
“No, I’ll pick you up at around 8:00pm. I know a really good restaurant around here.” Robert said.
“Cel, it’s just a friendly date. Robert is a nice guy. I know him.” I said to Celine, who was refusal of my dinner date with Robert. I looked at my wardrobe to pick what to wear.
“Dear, how can you say you know him? You just met him for Pete’s sake!” Celine whined as she laid on her stomach on my bed.
“We’ve been working with him for about two weeks now. And besides, I don’t wanna go kissing a guy I don’t know well. This date would be my chance to get to know him better.” I stated with conviction, picking a red cocktail dress.
“You make sense, but how about Adam?!” Celine reminded me. Lost in thought, I didn’t say anything. It took me a moment to search the right words to say.
“I gave up on him.” I lied, feeling hurt inside. I didn’t look up at Celine’s face at all while I chose which shoes to wear.
“But just a few days ago, you…” Celine’s voice lowered.
“Just forget it. Let’s not talk about it, okay?” I demanded. Celine kept quiet.
We were both in silence the whole time I prepared for the date. When I got done, I headed for the door without a word. Celine watched my back as I kept walking. She finally spoke.
“Makes sure he brings something for you.” I heard Celine chuckle. I waved at her as a reply.
I was quite certain that Robert, who was in black suits with blue and black stripes of polo inside and gelled his hair back looking like Elvis a bit, was stunned by my red, v-neck cut-slit red dress and my smooth long brown hair that flowed. He widened his eyes when he saw me coming out of the hotel lobby. I kind of regretted preparing too much for this dinner date. I can’t afford to fall for this guy and vise-versa. What if I don’t see Adam anymore ever again?
Thinking too much, I found myself spacing out until Robert finally said, “Shall we?” With that approach, I nodded and headed to his black car. I wasn’t sure what the brand and model was, but whatever. I wasn’t into cars, after all.
We didn’t speak for the first few minutes of the trip. I felt pretty awkward with all the deafening silence. I tried to think of something to say just to start a conversation. But no words came to my mind. Searching of what to say, I glanced at Robert who was focused on the road, driving the handle carefully. With nothing to say, I looked out at the window instead. The city lights were colorful and bright. It was almost like driving in Vegas. Labels of each store were artistically designed and caught the attention of the eyes of the people around. Some names were catchy and some were obvious that they were night clubs, the last place I’d wish to go here on earth. In one of the bars, a black haired woman wearing black leathered jacket and black shorts with leathered boots came out of the door. It was obvious she was drunk. Drunk at this hour? I thought. The woman walked towards any direction and almost went on the middle of the road. An old man passing by saw her and led her back to the side of the road. I didn’t get to see the rest when we were at the end of the street.
“You alright?” Robert asked me as he drove left, still looking at the road and glanced at me once in awhile.
“Uh, sure, what made you ask that?” I wondered why he asked me. I was perfectly normal.
“You’ve been quiet since you rode the car.” He laughed.
“Oh,” I didn’t know what to say. Maybe I was thinking too much.
“If you don’t wanna go out with me, you can say so. I’m fine with that.”
“N-No! That’s not true! I’d love to go with you.” His comment caught my attention and made me turn to him quickly to prove that I meant my words.
“Great, ‘cause we’re already here.” He stopped on front of an Italian restaurant. He got off the car and opened my door for me.
The restaurant looked quite simple. There was not much that made the restaurant look really special. It just looked expensive. Maybe the food here was really good. There were lots of people. A waiter stood near the entrance, carrying a menu.
“Welcome, sir and ma’am.” The waiter greeted with a smile.
“Seats good for two, please?” Robert requested, entering the restaurant ahead of me. I followed him.
The waiter picked a table on the corner near a window. He pulled the chairs for us to sit on and left us with the menu.
“What do you want?” Robert smiled at me. He had a charming smile.
“Anything will do. I’m fine with any pasta.” I shrugged and tried to avoid his smile.
Robert nodded and looked back at the menu. “They have the best fettucini alfredo here.” He claimed, flashing his white teeth for me to glance at. I forced a smile, nodding. “I think I’d want that.”
Robert raised his right arm to call for a waiter. A waiter approached our table and got a white memo pad from the pocket of his white apron and wrote with a pen which was placed in his chest pocket of the black vest the waiters wore.
“Two orders of fettucini alfredo, please?” Robert told the waiter politely as the waiter wrote down what Robert had said. Then, Robert turned to me.
“I hope you drink wine.”
I glanced at him. “Uh, yeah, I do.”
“Good, good,” He said, turning back to the waiter. “and a bottle of red wine.”
The waiter nodded, got the menu and went away.
I felt Robert’s eyes staring at me, though I never bothered to stare back at him. I looked through the window, resting my chin on my hand. I wasn’t used to staring into other men’s eyes unless I had significant feelings for him.
“Dear, are you okay?” Robert asked me, quite concerned of my thinking face. I had to smile at him a bit to show him that I was doing fine.
“I am. Thanks.”
“You don’t look well to me. You look like you’re in deep thought. Come on, Dessie. You can share anything to me. I’ll listen.”
“Thanks, but I’m really okay.” I lied, trying to avoid telling him about how Adam was bothering me.
“No, you’re lying. You’re thinking of something.” He hardened his face a bit to convince me to tell him. I didn’t answer for awhile.
“Okay, maybe I should tell you a bit.” I sighed. But I wasn’t sure where to start. I saw Robert’s face. He was waiting for me to speak.
“It’s not like I’m in love with this guy. It’s just that…” I started, thinking what to tell him next.
“Ah, I get it.” Robert cut me off and continued, “You’re afraid you like someone else and you’re going out with me now? Is that right?” Well apparently, he was correct. I was going out with a guy while I had my mind on someone else. Not my heart, yet. I sat in silence, looking down at my feet.
“Ha ha! Don’t worry! It’s just a friendly date. I just wanted to know my own colleague more!” He laughed.
“Oh,” I sighed, perhaps in relief.
“Tell me,” Robert started. “What’s this guy like? This guy you think of?” He was obviously curious.
“Uh, it’s Adam Lambert.” I sheepishly admitted.
“WHAT!? The one in American Idol, you mean?” Robert laughed loudly. He probably thought I was an obsessed fan girl.
“Yes, b-but it’s not like that! You won’t understand.” I defended. “I used to work with him. I was with him in Wicked two years ago.”
“You’re not kidding.”
“No, I’m not. Do you think I’d invent stories like this?”
“It’s not like that. It’s just that…” He looked away, glancing at his area. I can tell he was trying to avoid staring at me now. I stared at him in wonder.
“What?”
“Never mind,” He shook his head and still stared into space, the he continued, “You just like him, right?”
“Y-Yeah?” Now, I puzzled over his awkward behavior. “I haven’t spoken to him in years.” I added.
Robert nodded and smiled at me. I wish he stops smiling at me sometimes. Thank God the waiter came with our orders. Robert’s attention was drawn by the waiter when he approached our table. The waiter put the wine bottle down and put our pastas on front of us. Then he opened the wine bottle and poured some on our glass. “Enjoy your meal, sir and ma’am.” With that, he went away.
The fettucini was in place nicely on its plate. The pasta was covered neatly with fresh tomato sauce and had an olive leaf on the middle as a decoration. The smell was inviting.
“Well, shall we start?” Robert started. I nodded and Robert lifted his glass. “Cheers.” I lifted my glass against his as a response.
We ate in silence until I decided to break the ice. “How about you?” I questioned, but still focused on my plate as I rolled some pasta on my fork with my left hand.
“What about me?” Robert was puzzled, looking at me.
“You know? You asked me about Adam. So how about you, don’t you have anyone?” I was looking at him now, raising my brow. At my question, Robert laughed.
“No. Well, I used to have a girlfriend. We dated for three years, but she broke up with me before I left for L.A. for a production.” I heard him smirk a bit.
“Why did she do that?” I felt myself sympathizing him.
Robert shrugged and said, “Maybe because she couldn’t handle long-distant relationships. You know? We probably weren’t meant to be together. First of all, we had different worlds. She owned a business company back in Miami, while I’ve been a stage performer forever.” He looked at his plate and rolled some pasta on his fork and put it in his mouth.
“So you thought your relationship won’t turn out well?” I was still looking at him with my fork on my hand.
He swallowed his food and sipped some wine from his glass. He nodded. “It really won’t turn out well if you’re from different worlds, I guess. Maybe it would. But you have to understand each other’s worlds. It’s like adapting different cultures.” He gently shook the wine glass as if stirring the wine. Then he continued, “Plus, I travel different places while she stays in one area. I’m sure she couldn’t bear keeping the relationship while we didn’t see each other.” He sipped from his glass again.
I swallowed my food and sipped some wine, too. Then, I looked up at him. “If you had the chance, would you go back together?”
“I don’t know about that, Odessa.” He shrugged, looking back at me. “I don’t wanna pressure her either. And it’ll be a burden for both of us.”
“Why is that so?”
“It might affect both of our careers. She has a passion for business, and I have a passion for acting. I don’t want ourselves giving up our passions for someone else’s pleasure.”
When we were done, Robert drove me back to the hotel. He got off his car and opened the door on my side for me to get off. “Let me accompany you ‘til your suite.” Robert suggested.
“No, I’ll be fine.” I got off his car. Robert didn’t argue to that.
“Alright,” He nodded.
“Goodnight.” I said.
He smiled at me. I felt like he wanted to follow me. He took a few steps forward towards me. But I didn’t notice anymore when I got inside the hotel lobby.
I got back to my room and laid on my bed once I got in. I stared up at the ceiling, contemplating on what Robert had said. Maybe he was right. His words were convincing. I liked Adam, but we weren’t in the same boat anymore. Adam’s famous now. He was close to the high stardom while I was stuck on stage. He would need a more-private life while I still had my freedom. He was so far away and I don’t get to follow him. Maybe things won’t turn out well even if we ended up together. We were completely in different worlds. I sighed, deep in thought.