Med School Suks
Where to begin. I'm going to attempt to use this more than my own Pen-and-Paper journal for the next few months due to how stressed out and myopic my entries have become.
That's right, I'm using LJ for what it was originally intended for: Emo Bitching!
I'm taking about an hour of questions (50) on Kaplan every night, reviewing what I get wrong and right and entering all of it for further study. And this is damn depressing. Now I know Kaplan is designed to be kicking my ass, but when I'm only getting 40% right and about a 50% gives good confidence for passing the Step 1...it doesn't feel so good inside.
Thing is, I know I'm not stupid. Far from it, I know I'm a straight up good guy. But this part of medical school, combined with my personal situation has got me in a bit of a downward dither. I really want to leave these first two years feeling as if I'll do good by my patients, but I am instead assailed by many doubts about my ability to perform as a physician. I am also doubting my own nature and if I actually have any faith left.
On the good side, I am eating a shit ton more since its one of the few things that makes me feel better. Weight gain through stress/depression self medication! Weeeeeeeeee!
That's right, I'm using LJ for what it was originally intended for: Emo Bitching!
I'm taking about an hour of questions (50) on Kaplan every night, reviewing what I get wrong and right and entering all of it for further study. And this is damn depressing. Now I know Kaplan is designed to be kicking my ass, but when I'm only getting 40% right and about a 50% gives good confidence for passing the Step 1...it doesn't feel so good inside.
Thing is, I know I'm not stupid. Far from it, I know I'm a straight up good guy. But this part of medical school, combined with my personal situation has got me in a bit of a downward dither. I really want to leave these first two years feeling as if I'll do good by my patients, but I am instead assailed by many doubts about my ability to perform as a physician. I am also doubting my own nature and if I actually have any faith left.
On the good side, I am eating a shit ton more since its one of the few things that makes me feel better. Weight gain through stress/depression self medication! Weeeeeeeeee!