RACING TO THE FINISH LINE
sort of.
HALFWAY THROUGH NANO, AND I HIT 25K TODAY. NOT SURE HOW THIS HAPPENED. AM VERY EXCITED. IT IS PRETTY COOL. (although my nano has LITERALLY NO PLOT and is about NINETY PERCENT BANTER. also, yesterday, i got really bored with what i was writing, said, "FUCK IT," and wrote an explicit threesome.
. . . go self? IT WAS SPECIAL. also, my characters are vaguely based off my best friends, so the explicit sex is KIND OF DISTURBING. except for jay. jay is pretty much fandom's draco malfoy. I AM NOT SURE IF THIS MAKES IT BETTER OR WORSE.)
if my rate of writing keeps up, my entire nano will literally span a week. I AM ON DAY THREE RIGHT NOW. (though i did write a prologue. and a deleted scene, killed because it had - gasp - ACTUAL PLOT IN IT. and, oh yeah, an explicit threesome.)
BUT DUDE I AM ON TRACK. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW, BUT THIS IS REALLY FUCKING COOL.
also today it was too gorgeous to be november and i saw my best friends (one of them for the first time in an entire month, which was kind of a record for us) and ate a slice of pizza and ice cream and an egg bagel of deliciousness and most of an eclair and some of a cinnamon bun and more ice cream and it was DELICIOUS. it was officially declared food day, which was a v good idea, i feel.
also i am SO UNBELIEVABLY SORRY THAT I HAVE BEEN SO ABSENT FROM LJ-LAND. I AM THE WORST, I KNOW. i humbly plead that no one defriends me because i am dead right now because i will return on december first and have NO FRIENDS and cry forever and write in my diary about how NOBODY LOVES ME. so, yeah. i promise that in fifteen days, i will totally go back to being a creepy stalker for all of you.
also, somehow, oprah has become a LEGIT CHARACTER in my nano. i feel like this says a lot about my nano! mostly how it is CRACK, but whatever. crack is totally underrated.
anyway i am not checking my flist because it takes a v long time and my internet right now is quite iffy, but i check my email about A THOUSAND TIMES A DAY hoping for an excuse to not write. so, please! leave snippets of your nano/other writing/tell me how much cooler your life is than mine (trust me, it is. living under a rock would be an EXCITING CHANGE OF PACE for me right now) and watch me BURN WITH ENVY. it will be super fun! and you can make fun of me, which always wins.
anyway this post was MY REWARD FOR NOT FAILING THE FIRST HALF OF NANO, so do not expect to see me around for another fifteen days. I HOPE YOU ARE ALL HAVING LIVES/WRITING THAT ARE COOLER THAN MINE ARE.
(if you see me around before december first, please be CRACKING A WHIP at me. I NEED IT.)
also, because i am nothing if not dedicated to sharing my sketchy with y'all, here is the porn. note: IT IS FOURTEEN HUNDRED WORDS AND, LIKE, 150 OF THEM ARE ACTUAL SEX. THE REST ARE BANTER. I AM THE COOLEST.
eta: i had this whole long cut text, but lj somehow killed it so all i saw was the word "hard." I PROBABLY SHOULD NOT HAVE LAUGHED AS HARD AS I DID AT THAT.
Now, in what was possibly the most surreal moment of Chloe's life, she and Jay and Kat were having a serious discussion of their sexual attraction to one another.
Or, well, serious for them. Which meant that only 40% of the conversation was comprised of sex jokes, instead of the normal 85%. That figure probably said a lot about them, actually, but whatever. They totally had a healthy relationship.
Except, not, because they were sitting around on Kat's bed, where Chloe first got her period and thought that Kat was never going to talk to her again (seventh grade was not a fun year), and Jay had come out to them, and where they had, pretty much, grown up on, discussing the logistics of their terrifyingly non hypothetical threesome.
Seriously, when did Chloe's life become this? She wished she had an excuse, but, no. She didn't. Kat and Jay were her best friends, and this is what happened when you embarked on a unhealthily codependent relationship with them.
"Well," Jay said, interrupting Chloe's musing on how fucked she was, "the real question is - who gets fucked?"
"You," Kat and Chloe said, together.
Jay looked shocked. "Wait, no! Why? That's not fair."
"It would be hot," Kat pointed out.
Chloe nodded her agreement. "Plus," she added, "we all know you're a total cockwhore."
Opening his mouth to argue, Jay reconsidered, and closed it. "But," he added, "I'm not the only one getting fucked. My cock wants love too."
"Fine," Kat sighed. "I guess you can fuck me. Chloe gets to wear the strap on."
Jay smiled, happily. "Awesome. I always secretly wanted to be fucked by Chloe. No offense, Kat."
"None taken, so do I."
"Wait," Chloe interjected, "Seriously?"
Kat looked at her oddly. "Duh. Fantasy since, like, ninth grade."
"Seventh," Jay bragged.
"Shut up," Kat demanded. "It's not my fault I didn't discover how hot in control Chloe would be as early as you did."
"But it means I'm superior," Jay pointed out, and ducked the pillow Kat tried to whack him with.
"Have you guys discussed this?" Chloe asked, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer.
"Of course," Jay replied. "What did you think our three AM phone calls were about?"
"Not me fucking both of you?" Chloe offered.
"At the same time?" Kat asked. "We thought of that, and we weren't sure how well it would work. You're welcome to try, though."
Chloe smiled, and answered, "Not quite yet. Thanks, though."
"No biggie," Kat said. "Should we get naked now?"
"You first," Chloe said, poking Jay in the leg. It was possibly worrying how comfortable she felt, considering the topic of conversation, but, whatever. She'd crossed that line long ago. Boundaries were something that happened to other people, by now.
Jay rolled his eyes, and pulled of his ridiculous hipster shirt. Chloe took a moment to appreciate his very nice, if skinny, chest, because Chloe was dedicated like that.
He'd taken off his jeans, and was halfway through pulling off his boxers, when Chloe stopped them for a second. "Dude, for this to work, we kind of need, you know, a strap on. Unless Kat has one, like, hidden under the mattress, it's back to planning for us."
Just as Chloe was finishing the sentence, Kat stood up, wearing only a bra and tiny boxer shorts, with a - oh yeah, it was - gold strap on in hand.
Chloe looked at ehr sternly. "Seriously?" she asked. "Gold?"
"What?" Kat demanded. "Gold is sexy and classy. Possibly even clexy. Or sassy. Except sassy is a real word, so, clexy it is."
"Clexy is not a word. It's retarded. Also, gold strap ons are the opposite of classy. They're glittery, Kat. Glittery."
"You're no fun," Kat pouted. "Also, I bet Jay likes the strap ons. It's like being fucked by Edward Cullen! That's awesome, okay."
"No," Chloe said, sadly. "Baby. Edward Cullen is not sexy. And his glittery cock is even less sexy."
Jay muttered, "I wouldn't mind."
"Jay!" Kat said, scandalized. "For shame. Do you really want to join the legions of twelve year old girls in love with Edward and Twilight? Seriously? Because if so, I do not think you are emotionally mature enough to handle this threesome."
Kat rolled her eyes. "Stop being such a pretentious douche, Chloe. Take off your fucking clothes already, and put on the gold, glittery strap on."
Chloe had to admit, as far as orders went, it was pretty effective.
She did as she was told, but couldn't figure out the fucking strap on, and had to make Kat help her, while Jay sat on the bed and thanked all the gods he could think of for this momentous occasion.
Finally, they were all naked, ready, and willing. Somewhere in between Chloe stripping, and Kat getting them on in position on the bed, Jay had realized that Kat was a virgin, which was kind of a big deal.
Kat said that they should just shut up and fuck already, but Chloe and Jay decided that, seriously, her first time should not be from someone who was getting fucked by someone else. So Chloe had taken off the fucking strap on (though left it close by, for later), and Jay had searched in his wallet for the really good condom, and they had decided that the focus was going to be on Kat.
Chloe was fairly sure that when her mother had told her to "put other people before her," she did not mean while helping her guy best friend de-virginize her girl best friend, but whatever. It totally worked in this situation too.
Lying on the bed, Kat said, impatiently, "If one of you does not start touching me right the fuck now, my virginity will be lost in prison, because I will murder both of you in cold blood. And I am pretty sure that in prison, they are not as considerate of my delicate flower of virtue as your guys are. So, seriously, someone fuck me ri - oh."
The "oh" was because, right then, Chloe had gotten tired of Kat's death threats, and taken pity on the poor girl. She kissed her, long and deep and hard, and it really should be weird, but somehow, it wasn't. It felt - right, that she was doing this with Kat, like this was somehow how it should be.
Jay was making little noises in the background, and, fuck, Chloe had always known Jay was attractive, but this was something else. She reached over, grabbed his hand, and pulled him down to join them, trading and shifting and tangling bodies as easily as they always did, but with less clothing.
And then, somehow, there was a lot of gasping and touching and groping, and Chloe's hand ended up in Kat's clit, and Kat's hand was on Jay's balls, reaching back farther, and Jay was just kind of trying to decide which nipple he should focus on (and Chloe always knew he was a boob man, it was so obvious). And then there was more fumbling, and a desperate ripping of the condom wrapper, and rolling it on, and - yeah.
Someone was whimpering, and it might even be Chloe, and there were really fucking hot breathy gasps coming from Kat, and Jay was just communicating in monosyllabic words. Chloe wasn't sure how a threesome with your two best friends was supposed to feel, but if it was always this awesome, she was severely disappointed no one had told her before.
Jay tried valiantly to make it last, but, he was a teenage boy, and he had two naked girls with him. Making out. So, yeah, he came pretty soon.
Afterwards, because God forbid having a threesome stopped them from torturing Jay, and also because multiple orgasms were awesome, Chloe and Kat made out, and Chloe found a vibrator to put to good use. Chloe had standards, and glittery gold strap ons were well below the "acceptably tacky" line in her mind. Kat attempted to bitch, but Chloe had found the spot on her neck that, if kissed right, destroyed all of her coherent thought, and put that to good use.
Jay whimpered, and pouted, and attempted to ignore them, which his dick did not approve of at all. But no matter how hard Jay tried, there was kind of a limit to his recovery time, and Chloe and Kat, after a little more fun, took pity on him, and collapsed on him for a nap.
. . . WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?
HALFWAY THROUGH NANO, AND I HIT 25K TODAY. NOT SURE HOW THIS HAPPENED. AM VERY EXCITED. IT IS PRETTY COOL. (although my nano has LITERALLY NO PLOT and is about NINETY PERCENT BANTER. also, yesterday, i got really bored with what i was writing, said, "FUCK IT," and wrote an explicit threesome.
. . . go self? IT WAS SPECIAL. also, my characters are vaguely based off my best friends, so the explicit sex is KIND OF DISTURBING. except for jay. jay is pretty much fandom's draco malfoy. I AM NOT SURE IF THIS MAKES IT BETTER OR WORSE.)
if my rate of writing keeps up, my entire nano will literally span a week. I AM ON DAY THREE RIGHT NOW. (though i did write a prologue. and a deleted scene, killed because it had - gasp - ACTUAL PLOT IN IT. and, oh yeah, an explicit threesome.)
BUT DUDE I AM ON TRACK. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW, BUT THIS IS REALLY FUCKING COOL.
also today it was too gorgeous to be november and i saw my best friends (one of them for the first time in an entire month, which was kind of a record for us) and ate a slice of pizza and ice cream and an egg bagel of deliciousness and most of an eclair and some of a cinnamon bun and more ice cream and it was DELICIOUS. it was officially declared food day, which was a v good idea, i feel.
also i am SO UNBELIEVABLY SORRY THAT I HAVE BEEN SO ABSENT FROM LJ-LAND. I AM THE WORST, I KNOW. i humbly plead that no one defriends me because i am dead right now because i will return on december first and have NO FRIENDS and cry forever and write in my diary about how NOBODY LOVES ME. so, yeah. i promise that in fifteen days, i will totally go back to being a creepy stalker for all of you.
also, somehow, oprah has become a LEGIT CHARACTER in my nano. i feel like this says a lot about my nano! mostly how it is CRACK, but whatever. crack is totally underrated.
anyway i am not checking my flist because it takes a v long time and my internet right now is quite iffy, but i check my email about A THOUSAND TIMES A DAY hoping for an excuse to not write. so, please! leave snippets of your nano/other writing/tell me how much cooler your life is than mine (trust me, it is. living under a rock would be an EXCITING CHANGE OF PACE for me right now) and watch me BURN WITH ENVY. it will be super fun! and you can make fun of me, which always wins.
anyway this post was MY REWARD FOR NOT FAILING THE FIRST HALF OF NANO, so do not expect to see me around for another fifteen days. I HOPE YOU ARE ALL HAVING LIVES/WRITING THAT ARE COOLER THAN MINE ARE.
(if you see me around before december first, please be CRACKING A WHIP at me. I NEED IT.)
also, because i am nothing if not dedicated to sharing my sketchy with y'all, here is the porn. note: IT IS FOURTEEN HUNDRED WORDS AND, LIKE, 150 OF THEM ARE ACTUAL SEX. THE REST ARE BANTER. I AM THE COOLEST.
eta: i had this whole long cut text, but lj somehow killed it so all i saw was the word "hard." I PROBABLY SHOULD NOT HAVE LAUGHED AS HARD AS I DID AT THAT.
Now, in what was possibly the most surreal moment of Chloe's life, she and Jay and Kat were having a serious discussion of their sexual attraction to one another.
Or, well, serious for them. Which meant that only 40% of the conversation was comprised of sex jokes, instead of the normal 85%. That figure probably said a lot about them, actually, but whatever. They totally had a healthy relationship.
Except, not, because they were sitting around on Kat's bed, where Chloe first got her period and thought that Kat was never going to talk to her again (seventh grade was not a fun year), and Jay had come out to them, and where they had, pretty much, grown up on, discussing the logistics of their terrifyingly non hypothetical threesome.
Seriously, when did Chloe's life become this? She wished she had an excuse, but, no. She didn't. Kat and Jay were her best friends, and this is what happened when you embarked on a unhealthily codependent relationship with them.
"Well," Jay said, interrupting Chloe's musing on how fucked she was, "the real question is - who gets fucked?"
"You," Kat and Chloe said, together.
Jay looked shocked. "Wait, no! Why? That's not fair."
"It would be hot," Kat pointed out.
Chloe nodded her agreement. "Plus," she added, "we all know you're a total cockwhore."
Opening his mouth to argue, Jay reconsidered, and closed it. "But," he added, "I'm not the only one getting fucked. My cock wants love too."
"Fine," Kat sighed. "I guess you can fuck me. Chloe gets to wear the strap on."
Jay smiled, happily. "Awesome. I always secretly wanted to be fucked by Chloe. No offense, Kat."
"None taken, so do I."
"Wait," Chloe interjected, "Seriously?"
Kat looked at her oddly. "Duh. Fantasy since, like, ninth grade."
"Seventh," Jay bragged.
"Shut up," Kat demanded. "It's not my fault I didn't discover how hot in control Chloe would be as early as you did."
"But it means I'm superior," Jay pointed out, and ducked the pillow Kat tried to whack him with.
"Have you guys discussed this?" Chloe asked, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer.
"Of course," Jay replied. "What did you think our three AM phone calls were about?"
"Not me fucking both of you?" Chloe offered.
"At the same time?" Kat asked. "We thought of that, and we weren't sure how well it would work. You're welcome to try, though."
Chloe smiled, and answered, "Not quite yet. Thanks, though."
"No biggie," Kat said. "Should we get naked now?"
"You first," Chloe said, poking Jay in the leg. It was possibly worrying how comfortable she felt, considering the topic of conversation, but, whatever. She'd crossed that line long ago. Boundaries were something that happened to other people, by now.
Jay rolled his eyes, and pulled of his ridiculous hipster shirt. Chloe took a moment to appreciate his very nice, if skinny, chest, because Chloe was dedicated like that.
He'd taken off his jeans, and was halfway through pulling off his boxers, when Chloe stopped them for a second. "Dude, for this to work, we kind of need, you know, a strap on. Unless Kat has one, like, hidden under the mattress, it's back to planning for us."
Just as Chloe was finishing the sentence, Kat stood up, wearing only a bra and tiny boxer shorts, with a - oh yeah, it was - gold strap on in hand.
Chloe looked at ehr sternly. "Seriously?" she asked. "Gold?"
"What?" Kat demanded. "Gold is sexy and classy. Possibly even clexy. Or sassy. Except sassy is a real word, so, clexy it is."
"Clexy is not a word. It's retarded. Also, gold strap ons are the opposite of classy. They're glittery, Kat. Glittery."
"You're no fun," Kat pouted. "Also, I bet Jay likes the strap ons. It's like being fucked by Edward Cullen! That's awesome, okay."
"No," Chloe said, sadly. "Baby. Edward Cullen is not sexy. And his glittery cock is even less sexy."
Jay muttered, "I wouldn't mind."
"Jay!" Kat said, scandalized. "For shame. Do you really want to join the legions of twelve year old girls in love with Edward and Twilight? Seriously? Because if so, I do not think you are emotionally mature enough to handle this threesome."
Kat rolled her eyes. "Stop being such a pretentious douche, Chloe. Take off your fucking clothes already, and put on the gold, glittery strap on."
Chloe had to admit, as far as orders went, it was pretty effective.
She did as she was told, but couldn't figure out the fucking strap on, and had to make Kat help her, while Jay sat on the bed and thanked all the gods he could think of for this momentous occasion.
Finally, they were all naked, ready, and willing. Somewhere in between Chloe stripping, and Kat getting them on in position on the bed, Jay had realized that Kat was a virgin, which was kind of a big deal.
Kat said that they should just shut up and fuck already, but Chloe and Jay decided that, seriously, her first time should not be from someone who was getting fucked by someone else. So Chloe had taken off the fucking strap on (though left it close by, for later), and Jay had searched in his wallet for the really good condom, and they had decided that the focus was going to be on Kat.
Chloe was fairly sure that when her mother had told her to "put other people before her," she did not mean while helping her guy best friend de-virginize her girl best friend, but whatever. It totally worked in this situation too.
Lying on the bed, Kat said, impatiently, "If one of you does not start touching me right the fuck now, my virginity will be lost in prison, because I will murder both of you in cold blood. And I am pretty sure that in prison, they are not as considerate of my delicate flower of virtue as your guys are. So, seriously, someone fuck me ri - oh."
The "oh" was because, right then, Chloe had gotten tired of Kat's death threats, and taken pity on the poor girl. She kissed her, long and deep and hard, and it really should be weird, but somehow, it wasn't. It felt - right, that she was doing this with Kat, like this was somehow how it should be.
Jay was making little noises in the background, and, fuck, Chloe had always known Jay was attractive, but this was something else. She reached over, grabbed his hand, and pulled him down to join them, trading and shifting and tangling bodies as easily as they always did, but with less clothing.
And then, somehow, there was a lot of gasping and touching and groping, and Chloe's hand ended up in Kat's clit, and Kat's hand was on Jay's balls, reaching back farther, and Jay was just kind of trying to decide which nipple he should focus on (and Chloe always knew he was a boob man, it was so obvious). And then there was more fumbling, and a desperate ripping of the condom wrapper, and rolling it on, and - yeah.
Someone was whimpering, and it might even be Chloe, and there were really fucking hot breathy gasps coming from Kat, and Jay was just communicating in monosyllabic words. Chloe wasn't sure how a threesome with your two best friends was supposed to feel, but if it was always this awesome, she was severely disappointed no one had told her before.
Jay tried valiantly to make it last, but, he was a teenage boy, and he had two naked girls with him. Making out. So, yeah, he came pretty soon.
Afterwards, because God forbid having a threesome stopped them from torturing Jay, and also because multiple orgasms were awesome, Chloe and Kat made out, and Chloe found a vibrator to put to good use. Chloe had standards, and glittery gold strap ons were well below the "acceptably tacky" line in her mind. Kat attempted to bitch, but Chloe had found the spot on her neck that, if kissed right, destroyed all of her coherent thought, and put that to good use.
Jay whimpered, and pouted, and attempted to ignore them, which his dick did not approve of at all. But no matter how hard Jay tried, there was kind of a limit to his recovery time, and Chloe and Kat, after a little more fun, took pity on him, and collapsed on him for a nap.
. . . WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?