Cable & Deadpool: A Fine and Proper Upbringing (PG)
Sneaking one last rec in here while I still have posting access.
Title: A Fine and Proper Upbringing
Author: Anonymous
Fandom: Cable & Deadpool
Characters/Pairings: Cable, Deadpool, Blind Al, Weasel
Length: ~4000 words
Rating: PG
Why this must be read/seen: Without going into too many spoilery details, there are a couple of chapters of the Cable&Deadpool comic in which Cable is briefly de-aged back to infancy - and here we have a fic based on the premise of what might have happened if the incident wasn't quite so brief. Naturally, this means Wade takes on the job of taking care of Baby-Nate, and it's every bit as cute (and chaotic) as it sounds. This is also one of very few fics for C&DP to feature Blind Al, Deadpool's housekeeper/prisoner from his first ongoing solo series, and she's every bit her cranky, badass old self here. Some Cable/Deadpool material at the end, but totally not in a creepy way, I promise.
Excerpt
“Okay.” Weasel shook his head slowly. “Let me guess anyway. There was a cosmic accident of hilarious proportions, and then you stole the baby.”
“Stealing is such a bad and accusatory word. I prefer ‘permanently borrowing’.” Wade said, as he moseyed over to the couch, mission complete.
“Dare I ask why?”
“We need a pet now that Bob’s moved back in with the wife?”
“You can’t keep a baby as a pet!”
“But you can keep a HYDRA agent as a pet?”
“Especially not that baby!” Weasel groaned. “I’m going to amp up our defenses. I hope you weren’t followed, because we just paid the rent.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Wade said dismissively, “I told everyone before I hit the bodyslide that I was going to take him into the future to make sure he actually got the TO fixed.”
“And people believed you?”
“If they heard me above my guns, sure.”
“So you actually conducted an armed baby robbery. Kidnapping.”
“Everyone was discussing the best way of ‘properly’ bringing up a telepathic baby, in some cases involving words like ‘correct education’ and ‘peaceful upbringing’, so I thought I would contribute.”
Wade turned on the television and settled down with an air of finality. In the bathroom, the muttering grew louder, then there was a loud oath, a happy giggle, and the baby sped out, rather faster that little stubby knees and hands should technically be capable of, up until it reached Deadpool’s feet. Baby Nate sat back, a little heavily, and raised both chubby hands, making blubby noises until Wade picked it up and settled it absently onto his lap.
Little TO fingers. He could never get enough of the little TO fingers.
“That’s my limited edition Rorschach Winter shirt,” Weasel said, though he only sounded resigned, his expression a mix of mild horror and fascination as Baby Nate cuddled up and, with characteristically Nate decisiveness, abruptly fell asleep.
“Weren’t you getting baby stuff?” Wade asked, as the TO fingers loosed their death grip on his pinky.
“Yes boss…”
A Fine and Proper Upbringing
Title: A Fine and Proper Upbringing
Author: Anonymous
Fandom: Cable & Deadpool
Characters/Pairings: Cable, Deadpool, Blind Al, Weasel
Length: ~4000 words
Rating: PG
Why this must be read/seen: Without going into too many spoilery details, there are a couple of chapters of the Cable&Deadpool comic in which Cable is briefly de-aged back to infancy - and here we have a fic based on the premise of what might have happened if the incident wasn't quite so brief. Naturally, this means Wade takes on the job of taking care of Baby-Nate, and it's every bit as cute (and chaotic) as it sounds. This is also one of very few fics for C&DP to feature Blind Al, Deadpool's housekeeper/prisoner from his first ongoing solo series, and she's every bit her cranky, badass old self here. Some Cable/Deadpool material at the end, but totally not in a creepy way, I promise.
Excerpt
“Okay.” Weasel shook his head slowly. “Let me guess anyway. There was a cosmic accident of hilarious proportions, and then you stole the baby.”
“Stealing is such a bad and accusatory word. I prefer ‘permanently borrowing’.” Wade said, as he moseyed over to the couch, mission complete.
“Dare I ask why?”
“We need a pet now that Bob’s moved back in with the wife?”
“You can’t keep a baby as a pet!”
“But you can keep a HYDRA agent as a pet?”
“Especially not that baby!” Weasel groaned. “I’m going to amp up our defenses. I hope you weren’t followed, because we just paid the rent.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Wade said dismissively, “I told everyone before I hit the bodyslide that I was going to take him into the future to make sure he actually got the TO fixed.”
“And people believed you?”
“If they heard me above my guns, sure.”
“So you actually conducted an armed baby robbery. Kidnapping.”
“Everyone was discussing the best way of ‘properly’ bringing up a telepathic baby, in some cases involving words like ‘correct education’ and ‘peaceful upbringing’, so I thought I would contribute.”
Wade turned on the television and settled down with an air of finality. In the bathroom, the muttering grew louder, then there was a loud oath, a happy giggle, and the baby sped out, rather faster that little stubby knees and hands should technically be capable of, up until it reached Deadpool’s feet. Baby Nate sat back, a little heavily, and raised both chubby hands, making blubby noises until Wade picked it up and settled it absently onto his lap.
Little TO fingers. He could never get enough of the little TO fingers.
“That’s my limited edition Rorschach Winter shirt,” Weasel said, though he only sounded resigned, his expression a mix of mild horror and fascination as Baby Nate cuddled up and, with characteristically Nate decisiveness, abruptly fell asleep.
“Weren’t you getting baby stuff?” Wade asked, as the TO fingers loosed their death grip on his pinky.
“Yes boss…”
A Fine and Proper Upbringing