(no subject)
I haven't wrote in a while which is very depressing to me because so much keeps happening so very quickly.
I woke up on Thursday and went to a job interview at Old Navy. It was another group interview. I kinda flipped out that night. I drank 6 Zimas and locked myself in the bathroom. Justin and I were fighting again. He went home with me feeling very insecure about us.
Friday morning I woke up missing Stan so much I thought I was gonna die. I went to the store with my Mom and bought a phone card I couldn't afford. Stan said he got really drunk at the RBF show, and was asked to leave. I think he is getting depressed. I miss him sooo much. I told him Justin and I are dating. Mostly so he would beg me back. It just hurt him a lot I think. He told me he didn't really mean for me to date other people. I don't know what he meant for me to do, but he left me. That hurt so much. I went back to sleep after an hour long conversation.
Erica woke me up at 5pm, and we went to Wendys. Afterwich I went to the mall with Frank.
Justin was over when I got home, and we walked to the ballpark and talked in the cold wind for awhile. I thought maybe I should tell him about my dissociative dissorder. So I told him everything. He said "I want to help you", and something about being proud of me for making it through so much. I loved that part, because that's how I feel about him. I can't even beigin to concept how he made it through so much.
After he left, Richie, Chuck, Erica, and I went to the cemetary.
I found out we may get the house. I don't know if I'm ready to live together though. Am I over Stan? Will I ever be over Stan? Enough to move in with another guy? Thus detaching myself from him forever?!
The house is sooo nice. It's a 2 story in the neighborhood I grew up in.
I need to go to sleep, Justin is taking me to see the monks tomorrow. Oh, Frank and I met these really cool gay guys at the mall. Paul and . . ..? Well, I can't recall the other guys name.
I woke up on Thursday and went to a job interview at Old Navy. It was another group interview. I kinda flipped out that night. I drank 6 Zimas and locked myself in the bathroom. Justin and I were fighting again. He went home with me feeling very insecure about us.
Friday morning I woke up missing Stan so much I thought I was gonna die. I went to the store with my Mom and bought a phone card I couldn't afford. Stan said he got really drunk at the RBF show, and was asked to leave. I think he is getting depressed. I miss him sooo much. I told him Justin and I are dating. Mostly so he would beg me back. It just hurt him a lot I think. He told me he didn't really mean for me to date other people. I don't know what he meant for me to do, but he left me. That hurt so much. I went back to sleep after an hour long conversation.
Erica woke me up at 5pm, and we went to Wendys. Afterwich I went to the mall with Frank.
Justin was over when I got home, and we walked to the ballpark and talked in the cold wind for awhile. I thought maybe I should tell him about my dissociative dissorder. So I told him everything. He said "I want to help you", and something about being proud of me for making it through so much. I loved that part, because that's how I feel about him. I can't even beigin to concept how he made it through so much.
After he left, Richie, Chuck, Erica, and I went to the cemetary.
I found out we may get the house. I don't know if I'm ready to live together though. Am I over Stan? Will I ever be over Stan? Enough to move in with another guy? Thus detaching myself from him forever?!
The house is sooo nice. It's a 2 story in the neighborhood I grew up in.
I need to go to sleep, Justin is taking me to see the monks tomorrow. Oh, Frank and I met these really cool gay guys at the mall. Paul and . . ..? Well, I can't recall the other guys name.