Desperation
Money still owed to the school:
$2400 for tuition fee.
14,000 Pesos for bus fee.
Unpaid Bills at home:
4,000 Pesos of unpaid phone bills.
11,000 Pesos of unpaid electric bills, etc.
Car still unavailable.
I'm so fucking frustrated now. I don't even want to go to this fucking school anymore. My parents are so in debt, they can't even take care of phone bills. For fucks sake, its been 5 months since my dad said things would start looking up. We're at an all time low, I don't see shit getting any better. If things don't start looking up in my immediate future, I'm fucking outa here. I don't want to stay in a school I can't even afford, I don't really want to live here anymore.
Lately I've been nothing but a shell. I'm not really living up to what I should be. I'm just going with the flow and not giving a shit. I hate this, not being able to enjoy what I'm going through in high school while time just continues to move by me. I've become humble, yes, I haven't asked for anything unreasonable for the past 2 years, I've been as patient as anybody could have been. So why do things never get any better, but worse? I would kill to get out of everything that's been going through my mind for the past year or so.
Okay, so here is the break down for the next semester in terms of my money usage. I just need to get it out there so I'm more keen on sticking to it.
Weekly allowance:
15% goes to Lunch (250)
80% goes to savings (1175)
5% goes to Band Practices (75)
This limits me to eat some sort of crackers and a soda per day for all of my weekdays. On the bright side, I'm saving 1175 per week.
I'm currently at 3000, next week would make it 4500 (since I won't be eating at all)
This means that there is no possible way I can buy the mp3 before ICARE happens.
The worst case would mean that I would have to pay 13000 for it, the minimum being 9000. That would mean I would have to stick to this plan for 4 ~ 7 weeks before I reach my goal. Ugh, it's not really worth it. I would have to sacrifice all my weekends since I won't have any money to spend, and on top of that I won't be able to buy any games until the duration is over. However, if I somehow get used to this, I'll be able to continue to stick to the plan, and in time have a reasonable amount in my pocket so I can pay for my own phone bills and such so I can get the load of my parents a bit. Alright, that was way too much thinking for 1 day, I'm off to bed, Bye.
$2400 for tuition fee.
14,000 Pesos for bus fee.
Unpaid Bills at home:
4,000 Pesos of unpaid phone bills.
11,000 Pesos of unpaid electric bills, etc.
Car still unavailable.
I'm so fucking frustrated now. I don't even want to go to this fucking school anymore. My parents are so in debt, they can't even take care of phone bills. For fucks sake, its been 5 months since my dad said things would start looking up. We're at an all time low, I don't see shit getting any better. If things don't start looking up in my immediate future, I'm fucking outa here. I don't want to stay in a school I can't even afford, I don't really want to live here anymore.
Lately I've been nothing but a shell. I'm not really living up to what I should be. I'm just going with the flow and not giving a shit. I hate this, not being able to enjoy what I'm going through in high school while time just continues to move by me. I've become humble, yes, I haven't asked for anything unreasonable for the past 2 years, I've been as patient as anybody could have been. So why do things never get any better, but worse? I would kill to get out of everything that's been going through my mind for the past year or so.
Okay, so here is the break down for the next semester in terms of my money usage. I just need to get it out there so I'm more keen on sticking to it.
Weekly allowance:
15% goes to Lunch (250)
80% goes to savings (1175)
5% goes to Band Practices (75)
This limits me to eat some sort of crackers and a soda per day for all of my weekdays. On the bright side, I'm saving 1175 per week.
I'm currently at 3000, next week would make it 4500 (since I won't be eating at all)
This means that there is no possible way I can buy the mp3 before ICARE happens.
The worst case would mean that I would have to pay 13000 for it, the minimum being 9000. That would mean I would have to stick to this plan for 4 ~ 7 weeks before I reach my goal. Ugh, it's not really worth it. I would have to sacrifice all my weekends since I won't have any money to spend, and on top of that I won't be able to buy any games until the duration is over. However, if I somehow get used to this, I'll be able to continue to stick to the plan, and in time have a reasonable amount in my pocket so I can pay for my own phone bills and such so I can get the load of my parents a bit. Alright, that was way too much thinking for 1 day, I'm off to bed, Bye.