(no subject)
I am so out of it. All I've been doing at home was reading megatokyo and drumming. Goddamn.
I've only realized now that it's vacation. It doesn't really feel like it. It's lost its color. Everything has. Nothings as exciting anymore. I'm no longer really looking forward to anything anymore. I've watched 2 movies lately. They were good..., so people say. I haven't noticed.
I need something that'll just fucking blow my mind off. And no alcohol didn't work either. No actually I enjoyed myself the last time I was buzz. Too bad I don't remember anything except a fucking messed up hangover.
I remember watching a band performance on youtube yesterday. I remember whispering to myself; "Damn... I wish I could drum." When I'm watching other people drum, I forget that I can do so too myself. I don't even know if I'm even good enough to be surrounded by such talented people.
Christmas is around the corner. Right about now last year I was home crying. I don't remember what I did with my family that day... Probably just stayed home and did nothing like we do for every holiday. Christmas is no different to me than any other 364 days of the year. It's just... a boring day. Staying home on my computer while my dads in the living room watching tv and my mom's on the other computer chatting with her friends. Gifts? Never heard of such a thing. I don't expect any to begin with. I've gotten used to the fact that my family doesn't really have the financial benefits to buy eachother gifts and shit. We all have.
I don't think I'll even be in this fucking school next semester. My dads struggling to pay my 2nd quarter tuition fees. Oh well. Not my fucking problem anymore.
I've only realized now that it's vacation. It doesn't really feel like it. It's lost its color. Everything has. Nothings as exciting anymore. I'm no longer really looking forward to anything anymore. I've watched 2 movies lately. They were good..., so people say. I haven't noticed.
I need something that'll just fucking blow my mind off. And no alcohol didn't work either. No actually I enjoyed myself the last time I was buzz. Too bad I don't remember anything except a fucking messed up hangover.
I remember watching a band performance on youtube yesterday. I remember whispering to myself; "Damn... I wish I could drum." When I'm watching other people drum, I forget that I can do so too myself. I don't even know if I'm even good enough to be surrounded by such talented people.
Christmas is around the corner. Right about now last year I was home crying. I don't remember what I did with my family that day... Probably just stayed home and did nothing like we do for every holiday. Christmas is no different to me than any other 364 days of the year. It's just... a boring day. Staying home on my computer while my dads in the living room watching tv and my mom's on the other computer chatting with her friends. Gifts? Never heard of such a thing. I don't expect any to begin with. I've gotten used to the fact that my family doesn't really have the financial benefits to buy eachother gifts and shit. We all have.
I don't think I'll even be in this fucking school next semester. My dads struggling to pay my 2nd quarter tuition fees. Oh well. Not my fucking problem anymore.