Truth be Told
I'm not sure if the meeting with Kevin is what has me thinking about him more then I thought I would or if its the fact that he hasn't called...which still makes me think that the encounter meant more to me then I thought it would.
I keep waiting for a phone call or text about when our next rendezvous will be but I haven't received anything. I'm sure he's doing the same as me though...thinking, waiting, wishing, wondering...I know I am not going to be the first to make the next move, so I'm waiting on him. He's probably thinking the exact same thing. Only problem with that is, he'll cave before I do. I'm too stuburn.
But I am realizing that maybe I am not as over him as I thought I was before Sunday night. Scratch that, Saturday night. This is how it all started and what really happened Sunday night...
Saturday night, I am getting ready to head out with Shane to a birthday party and noticed I had a missed call from "Douche Bag" (Kevin) at about 10:30, up until 12:30am I ignored him and the missed call than finally sent him a text saying, I noticed you called, whats up? Then all I get back is "fuck you." I replied with, "if thats all you wanted to say, then you should have left a voicemessage so you didn't waste a text." He then told me I was dirt under his slipper. In response to that, I told him "aww Kevin, no need to get all sweet on me." That shut him up for a couple hours. About 2am we start texting again.
Him: what are you doin?
Me: at a party. what are you doing?
Him: looking to party.
Me: Well, you don't want to go where I am.
Him: Whys that?
Me: Cause I'm on a date at Jamie's bday party, where ur girl Sara is shooting me daggers with her eyes. (Sara is his friend who he started to crush on just before or after we broke up, who flirted with him but didn't want to take things past friendship. Jamie, is her ex boyfriend/current boyfriend/fuck buddy/future husband whatever)
Him: She's not my girl. Call me tomorrow.
Me: Why? Cause you're missing the one girl who can make you weak in the knees?
Him: Probably.
Him again: When you coming home?
Me: Whats it to you?
Him: Why the hostility? (he stole my word...I told him once, its a shame he's starting his new years out with so much hostility)
Him again: You should call me when you get home
Me: I will if my date falls through.
...texts ended there and I didn't call him...
Next morning (Sunday), I get a text from Kevin saying, sorry for talking to you last night. I told him don't be, it made me laugh for the most part and it was fun to bullshit with him. All day long we texted back and forth. At one point he told me he wanted me. We agreed to meet up that night at 9:30pm. I didn't even start getting ready until then cause I didn't want to seem like I was eager. 10pm I get a text saying where are you? lol
Like I said before, first thing that happens is I got a bear hug. We went to his room, talked for like 2 minutes and had sex. Beautiful, sweet, passionate sex. It was probably a mistake and will create more issues then either of us want. But we both wanted it, needed it and the reprocussions will (hopefully) be worth it. We snuggled and kissed and held eachother during and after the romp. Thats when the silent words were spoken. The head nodding... There was one moment when I was running my hand down his cheek and he told me to stop. I pulled my hand away and asked why. Then he repositioned himself and put my hand back. It was almost like he was asking me to stop cause it reminded him of when we were together. Then put it back as if he didn't care that it brought the memories back. Now I know that sex can just be sex, but sex is not just sex when we 2 people look into eachothers eyes as they fuck. If I felt his gaze hit my heart like a lightning bolt, chances are it did the same for him too...right? Or when he undressed me, it was like he was looking at me for the first time, like he was drinking in the sight of me. He stopped to stare, then when I said what? It was like it broke his thought process and he just layed me down and kissed me. Oooh the heat of it.....after we had sex we would lay there and he'd just run his hands down my sides and arms and across my ribs and stomach. And place little kisses on my neck and shoulders. He ever gave me a hicky! Ugh, so trashy...right on my boob lol When I realized what he was trying to do I stopped him and he said, "whaaat? I'm just marking my territory." I gave him ~*the look*~ and he smiled and said something about me being his.
We layed in bed for a long time, just talking, bullshitting, catching up, bringing up old memories...then he walked me to the door and said goodnight, I'll call you in a couple days. I laughed and said when you need another booty call? He just smiled and kissed me goodbye.
When I got home I sent him a text that said if you tell anyone about our little romp and arrangement (basically we agreed to have sex until one of us starts a "relationship") I'm going to use a butt plug on him the next time we fuck. He said "I won't tell, if you don't. But Amy and Mike (his long time friends and now roommates) will figure it out. Oh well, I don't care." We said goodnight again.
So............now here I am. Wondering whats going to happen next...and when...
I keep waiting for a phone call or text about when our next rendezvous will be but I haven't received anything. I'm sure he's doing the same as me though...thinking, waiting, wishing, wondering...I know I am not going to be the first to make the next move, so I'm waiting on him. He's probably thinking the exact same thing. Only problem with that is, he'll cave before I do. I'm too stuburn.
But I am realizing that maybe I am not as over him as I thought I was before Sunday night. Scratch that, Saturday night. This is how it all started and what really happened Sunday night...
Saturday night, I am getting ready to head out with Shane to a birthday party and noticed I had a missed call from "Douche Bag" (Kevin) at about 10:30, up until 12:30am I ignored him and the missed call than finally sent him a text saying, I noticed you called, whats up? Then all I get back is "fuck you." I replied with, "if thats all you wanted to say, then you should have left a voicemessage so you didn't waste a text." He then told me I was dirt under his slipper. In response to that, I told him "aww Kevin, no need to get all sweet on me." That shut him up for a couple hours. About 2am we start texting again.
Him: what are you doin?
Me: at a party. what are you doing?
Him: looking to party.
Me: Well, you don't want to go where I am.
Him: Whys that?
Me: Cause I'm on a date at Jamie's bday party, where ur girl Sara is shooting me daggers with her eyes. (Sara is his friend who he started to crush on just before or after we broke up, who flirted with him but didn't want to take things past friendship. Jamie, is her ex boyfriend/current boyfriend/fuck buddy/future husband whatever)
Him: She's not my girl. Call me tomorrow.
Me: Why? Cause you're missing the one girl who can make you weak in the knees?
Him: Probably.
Him again: When you coming home?
Me: Whats it to you?
Him: Why the hostility? (he stole my word...I told him once, its a shame he's starting his new years out with so much hostility)
Him again: You should call me when you get home
Me: I will if my date falls through.
...texts ended there and I didn't call him...
Next morning (Sunday), I get a text from Kevin saying, sorry for talking to you last night. I told him don't be, it made me laugh for the most part and it was fun to bullshit with him. All day long we texted back and forth. At one point he told me he wanted me. We agreed to meet up that night at 9:30pm. I didn't even start getting ready until then cause I didn't want to seem like I was eager. 10pm I get a text saying where are you? lol
Like I said before, first thing that happens is I got a bear hug. We went to his room, talked for like 2 minutes and had sex. Beautiful, sweet, passionate sex. It was probably a mistake and will create more issues then either of us want. But we both wanted it, needed it and the reprocussions will (hopefully) be worth it. We snuggled and kissed and held eachother during and after the romp. Thats when the silent words were spoken. The head nodding... There was one moment when I was running my hand down his cheek and he told me to stop. I pulled my hand away and asked why. Then he repositioned himself and put my hand back. It was almost like he was asking me to stop cause it reminded him of when we were together. Then put it back as if he didn't care that it brought the memories back. Now I know that sex can just be sex, but sex is not just sex when we 2 people look into eachothers eyes as they fuck. If I felt his gaze hit my heart like a lightning bolt, chances are it did the same for him too...right? Or when he undressed me, it was like he was looking at me for the first time, like he was drinking in the sight of me. He stopped to stare, then when I said what? It was like it broke his thought process and he just layed me down and kissed me. Oooh the heat of it.....after we had sex we would lay there and he'd just run his hands down my sides and arms and across my ribs and stomach. And place little kisses on my neck and shoulders. He ever gave me a hicky! Ugh, so trashy...right on my boob lol When I realized what he was trying to do I stopped him and he said, "whaaat? I'm just marking my territory." I gave him ~*the look*~ and he smiled and said something about me being his.
We layed in bed for a long time, just talking, bullshitting, catching up, bringing up old memories...then he walked me to the door and said goodnight, I'll call you in a couple days. I laughed and said when you need another booty call? He just smiled and kissed me goodbye.
When I got home I sent him a text that said if you tell anyone about our little romp and arrangement (basically we agreed to have sex until one of us starts a "relationship") I'm going to use a butt plug on him the next time we fuck. He said "I won't tell, if you don't. But Amy and Mike (his long time friends and now roommates) will figure it out. Oh well, I don't care." We said goodnight again.
So............now here I am. Wondering whats going to happen next...and when...