Debateable Disorder or Subjected to Crappy Parenting?
Yesterday I did a little research on child(ren) mental health. And I am now seeking out a child physicologist.
Some times I worry Lane has ADD or ADHD so I tried to read up a little while online at work. I learned that most professionals do not like to diagnose a child younger then 5 with either disorder since usually the behaviors the child younger ( Read more... )
I don't believe it means you can do nothing and it'll all just pass on its own. Part of him working through this age is learning how to control himself, learn how his own mind works, something that you've got to play a large role in (as hugely stressful as it is). If you choose medication make sure it's to help him learn how to control himself and not to help you keep him under control.
Is he in any organized activities yet? Martial arts, baseball, etc? I personally think martial arts at the earliest possible age is incredibly positive and helps a lot with helping kids learn this kind of self discipline. When I have kids I'm already pretty firm in my mind that they'll go into martial arts at ~3, piano ~5, and partner dancing ~7.
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Its hard to give a full discription of Lane's behavior without sounding like I am overreacting or underreacting, thats why I want to get a professional opinion who won't tell me to pump him full of Ritalin.
He has structured play at daycare, he uses their giant trampoline on a daily basis and I take him to the park 3 days a week and I even run up and down the slide with him or chase him around, but yet its not enough to get rid of all his energy, its like he's on a constant sugar high. Literally boucning off the walls. Gets one thought then runs off with another. Even when it comes time to eat (one of his favorite things to do)...he will simply play with it even though I try to make sure he's had nothing to eat within 3 hours of dinner so I know he's hungry or he'll say he wants an apple (which he loves) then he'll take 2 bites and say he wants a pop tart instead, then he'll just break it up, then ask for a bowl of cereal then say he doesn't like it (even though he does)....btw, that was my Saturday morning. :\
Whats funny, is he gets along GREAT with kids, never had a hitting or bitting phase but its like he disrepects every adult he meets at some point, especially me. He says hi to strangers but swats, kicks and yells at the people who care about him.....oof....I dunno :( those behaviors inparticular make me wonder if its more of his past getting to him...
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Talking to a therapist is a good plan, but I have to say this really sounds like a three year old boy. Although there are exceptions, by and large we're just completely impossible at that age. We want everything, but not really, we're picky as hell just to be picky and will make up completely arbitrary rules about what we will and won't eat...typically without actually trying it first. Often what we ate and loved yesterday we've decided, with no reason behind it, to no longer want at all. And you can't convince us otherwise, full stop. We're like cats, minus the cute and the personal hygiene. If he hasn't yet, expect him to soon stop taking baths or brushing his teeth willingly. I remember for months I just absolutely refused to use tooth paste at all; If I had to brush my teeth, I'd use plain water at most.
I have pretty vivid memories still of that age and oh my god was I horrible. In the wild animals often cull their young for far less then I and most males subjected their parents to.
Girls also have a horrible phase, but it tends to be much later (jr high/high school years) and manifest itself much differently.
He needs a dominate male figure he respects. Kevin might be able to fill that role, but it's hard to say (does Kevin even want to and even if he does, not being his "real" father it might be really difficult to assume that role). That's one of the reasons I suggested martial arts. Impossible boys very often turn into completely different people while they are inside a dojo, and eventually it works its way into the rest of life.
Boys aren't born knowing respect, self control, empathy, honor. They are learned traits, learned with much pain for all typically.
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I haven't seen any martial arts classes around here offered to kids in Lane's age group, but I'll keep my eyes peeled. I almost got him into soccer but then discovered it was only available during my work schedule. :\ I'm hoping next month we will be better financially and I will get us a membership at the local club here where Lane can release some energy with other kids, I can do some yoga and Kevin can play some basketball..Then family pool time.
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