Debateable Disorder or Subjected to Crappy Parenting?
Yesterday I did a little research on child(ren) mental health. And I am now seeking out a child physicologist.
Some times I worry Lane has ADD or ADHD so I tried to read up a little while online at work. I learned that most professionals do not like to diagnose a child younger then 5 with either disorder since usually the behaviors the child younger then 5 is expressing are typical of that age. And if the child were to be medicated that don't prefer it because the studies on the effects the meds have on younger children are very minimal.
I worry about Lane because it seems that he CANNOT sit still or relax, unless he's asleep. He is on the go from the time he wakes up, which is typically 6am, to the time he falls asleep, which used to be 8pm on the dot now its getting closer to 10pm because he does. not. want. to calm down. He takes naps most days but I've noticed its because he just flat out wears him self out.
His mind, his mouth and his hands are constantly on the go. Which is ok but its almost like he has an inner war with himself about which gets control. There are some days when I can watch him when he thinks I'm not and he will look around before doing something he knows he's not supposed to. Or its like he gets so frustrated that his hands just go haywire and (for example) break every crayon in his crayon box, some times even eat them. Hello, he's 3! I figured he'd be way past the eating crayon stage.
I can ask him not to do something ("Lane, don't play with the curtains, they might fall.") and he'll still do it. Or even a simple task that involves something he likes ("Lane, go get your shoes so we can go to the park.") and I am still ignored. It's like I never spoke a word.
Now, I realize my thoughts of a disorder like ADHD might be premature since he's behavior is typical of a preschooler but I am losing too much patience and stressing too bad for me to just sit and hope things mellow out. Also, I'm seeking out a counselor who can maybe help me figure out if A) this is a disorder that needs treatment (if it comes down to Lane needing medication Kevin and I have already agreed that we won't start them until he's in kindergarten or higher *if* it effects him learning/school and in the mean time use alternative methods). B) To see if there are issues from Lane's past that are causing him to act this way/"act out" (ie the way he saw his dad treat me, he thinks its ok) and therefore how to reverse any negative damage C) See if its my parenting skills that need an evaluation and learn how to discipline, renew my patience or D) see if he's just being a 3 year old and how to better stimulate him so he's not so wired/filled with extra energy, etc.
We'll see how it all goes but I am very anxious to learn the final results of all this. I mean, the way his behavior is it gets me so stressed 70% of the week I can't imagine its making ANY situation/relationship better. Better to start now rather than later. By then, Kevin will be ready to bail because he can't handle my kid and I've "changed" (which will be because of stress/depression). Lane will be one of the kids who hits their parents and gets in trouble with the law by the time he is 10 and I'll be a basket case because I never got my walk in closet and white picket fence attached to my single wide where I make fried chicken for dinner everynight. lol yeah that was overblown but I can totally see my life turning into someone else's I know... Stressed out, over weight and no sex because your child is taking up ALL your time. And I do not want that. So, I'm acting now...to avoid the single wide and chicken grease ;)