round 05, challenge three: results
round 05, challenge three: eliminations
#06 (-05) Apathy by lilacblossoms
#07 (-04) the road i lost by dailysky
#12 (-04) we're just midguided by kkeut
round 05, challenge three: people's choice
#02 (+02) In my day by formattitude
round 05, challenge three: tallies
Round Five, Challenge Three
01. We are now by almondkicks
02. In my day by formattitude
03. Color me dreary by sashimibaby
04. cold hands and lightning bolts by paintingseas
05. Rebirth by thundersquall
06. Apathy by lilacblossoms
07. the road i lost by dailysky
08. Compos Mentis by perkybird
09. Rush by alwaysinlike
10. krazy straw by subtleslide
11. Endless by saengie
12. we're just midguided by kkeut
13. A voice in the dark by sensiblecanary
round 05, challenge three: elimination comments
#01 - the second half of the drabble seemed very affected and forced; a little on the purple side, to be honest.
#02 - While the writing is perfectly fine, I felt that the premise was just too unrealistic - both that Yunho ends up as a cab driver and that coming SM trainees won't ever have heard of DBSK at all.
#03 - Cliched commma breaks and pauses. Delivery wasn't very powerful (perhaps as a result of this) or suited to a drabble, and I'd have preferred if the author used this kind of writing in a full-length fic instead.
#03 - the plot was slightly cliched. and though it was well written, i felt that the writer focused slightly too much on insignificant details.
#03 - the metaphor for their conversation started out really good and the punchline at "jaejoong's broken heart" hit me in just the right way, but it seemed to carry on for too long after that. it was a bit jarring, after having spent so much time focused on the spaghetti that the author took so much time describing. if that had been the focus, it would have been interesting - i think it would have reflected jaejoong's forcefully distracted thoughts.
#04 - The story doesn't move forward and falls a little flat. It didn't leave me with any lingering impression.
#04 - None of the emotion came across because there were way too many adjectives and adverbs that were repetitive and jumbled together. Tense changes from past to present. Also "who's" should be whose.
#04 - This story almost gave me a chill instead of being a romance, which to me is not good in this situation since it doesn't seem to be your intended result. It's like Tiffany's more terrorized than loved from how it's written, and the ending sort of finishes flatly to me. Like.. That's it? There are a lot of good points too, like how imagery is strong in some moments, but it just gave off a confusing feeling in the end after I tried to deliberate the point of it.
#05 - The ending was predictable and some sentences were wordy, which took away from the drabble's impact. I think it might have worked better with less descriptions on the ritual and more hints as to why Sungmin wanted Kyuhyun back so badly. In the end, I didn't feel very much for the characters.
#06 - the ending line is too jarring and forced; it's written almost as an afterthought just to fit the prompt and doesn't relate to the rest of the story. it just knocked me right out of the whole thing.
#06 - Perhaps I don't get it, but I don't see how it fits with the prompt. The language is also rather verbose and winding.
#06 - though i really loved the plot of this fic, the descriptions were always a little far fetched or out of reach instead of just vague.
#06 - I think this one was trying to make a point, but failed to come through. I just didn't get it.
#06 - In a piece this short, proofreading is crucial because one mistake, like the lack of possession in Youngbae's name, is glaring and threw it way off for me.
#07 - The random mention of Jonghyun's sister threw me off. Like it was mentioned to evoke some kind of emotion but instead just served to confuse the reader. Also, Key's character seemed to exist only for the sake of a pairing, but didn't really play a significant part. Another thing that threw me off was the mention of blood on the dagger, because it was made clear that Jonghyun was a thief, but never a murderer or whatever.
#07 - I felt like Key was an imposing character, and it was sort of random.
#07 - The fic is okay, however, it's just like an ordinary story and lacks some emotions.
#07 - While the idea was creative and nice, the execution seemed to be lacking. No impact in the end to me, none from how you used the world or the characters. Key's characterization is almost stale in the ending, and although it is understood that he only had a few lines his voice was still not there.
#11 - This is a rather uncreative take on the prompt. I don't think the author did the ghosts concept much justice -- he/she dabbles briefly on the subject, and dismisses it all too soon. It didn't strike me as anything particularly exciting, nor powerful. The tone was rather ho-hum, and consequently made the fic less than memorable. The last sentence seemed rushed as well.
#12 - it seemed kind of pointless, didn't really leave an emotional impact and, though jinki was thinking about taemin later that night, it seemed as if nothing really came out of that encounter
#12 - Same comment with the #07 entry and I didn't quite understand what the story's about.
#12 - To me, the drabble didn't seem to have much of a point at all, and I didn't get any kind of emotion from reading it. In addition, Jinki being clumsy and falling down is such a pet peeve of mine.
#12 - I don't get the metaphor, nor the point of the drabble. As well, a forgotten preposition bothered me.
#13 - The focus on Youngwoon drifting away and Youngwoon going to army doesn't quite connect. If he was already distancing himself before, why would him going to the army change anything? And if something did change, the reader doesn't get to know about it.
round 05, challenge three: favorite comments
#02 - not only was the prompt used well, the use of subtext was well done. the writer was able to evoke emotions from small actions or sentences.
#02 - A simple idea, but executed well. Every single sentence is used to contribute to the well paced movement and setting. It definitely gives emotional impact. I was not expecting him to ask that question at all, but when Yunho did it really finished off the drabble nicely and cleanly.
#02 - the attention paid to the little details of yunho's surroundings, marking as important things like the wage and the hour, really centered the fic on the new life of the future yunho of the fic. the simple way in which it was accomplished also reflects the simple kind of lifestyle he leads now. the feelings were understated, so it takes a moment, but they come and... wow. also, it's difficult to write scenes of reminiscence, but yunho's memories came out so naturally here.
#03 - I liked the story. It's very simple yet it conveys strong emotions.
#03 - The take on the promt is subtle yet still doesn't evade the reader, coming forward in Jaejoongs actions, or rather non-actions. The road metaphor is simply brilliant.
#05 - This is the entry that had the biggest impact on me out of all the pieces; I liked the world created in it and I'm curious to see more, even if I felt like the drabble was a complete piece by itself.
#08 - Interesting take on the prompt, clear and a fruitful conveyance of an idol's trouble with identity and roots.
#09 - i loved the easy flow of the writing and the storyline may be a little cliched with the whole 'ghost luring human who loved him to his death', but the writing made it subtle and yet horrifying all at once.
#10 - The imagery was vivid and the need for more 'tubes of sugar' was highlighted by what was described.
#11 - i loved then characterization in this.
#13 - ;_____; It seems to me like nobody wants to write Kangin fic anymore, so this made me reallllyy happy. I'm so glad the relationship was purely platonic -- anything else might have gotten me cringing. Ryeowook's innocence and need for companionship was brought across well, and there were parts that definitely made me laugh as well.
#13 - Out of all the entries that I liked, this one just stood out. Emotion was apparent, but not overly so. Language used was simple and direct to the point, so I didn't have to hurt my brain trying to figure out what was going on.
discrepance, dimentionally and flickre have used one skip for this challenge. sleepy_sheep137 has been disqualified for using an extra skip. lemonypunch has dropped out from the challenge.