The Rain Hasn't Passed... The Storm's Just Starting [3/8]
I don’t wanna die anymore, Mikey. I would be happy with Mommy in heaven, but I wouldn’t be really happy without you. You make me really happy, and I think it would be good if I was with you. Come get me… please. I don’t like living with Daddy. He hears my tummy all the time when he lets me out, but he won’t let me eat anything. Why is he so mean? Did I do something bad so he doesn’t love me anymore? I don’t remember doing anything. But I had to.
I want to see you so bad… I tried to run away when Daddy let me out to go to the bathroom, but all the doors were locked. He didn’t look for me though so I went to the kitchen and got some bags of chips before I went back to my closet. My closet door was unlocked, but I was too scared to go anywhere else. I stayed up all night because I thought Daddy might take my food, but he didn’t. He didn’t come to my closet for a long time, and when he did he just looked at me really mean and locked the door.
The small chip bag made a loud noise when I tried to open it, so I haven’t had any of it because I don’t know what will happen if Daddy hears it. When I don’t eat I get really sleepy, so I sleep more now. I like to sleep because I’m not hungry in my dreams. You’re still not in my dreams anymore though, Mikey. It’s been a really long time since I’ve seen you. It’s getting hard to remember what you look like. You look the same, I bet. Maybe older. I think I missed your birthday. I hope it was good.
I remember you used to bring your friend home a lot when I lived with you. He was really nice to me and talked to me sometimes. He talked about you a lot. I don’t think he knew that I could understand what he was saying because I couldn’t talk back. Almost everyday he would tell me that he really liked you and sometimes he said he loved you. Maybe he wants to marry you like I do. I hope not. If you marry him, you might not love me anymore.
Daddy can be really nice sometimes. I like when he is, but he’s not like that a long time. He let me sleep in a bed one night. It was a really soft bed and I fell asleep right when I laid down in it. Daddy even put the toys that weren’t messed up in there in a big toy box with a lot of toys that I’ve never seen before. I think someone else lived in that room before because there was a lot of stuff in it. When I woke up the next morning, Daddy told me I could play in my room. I have a room, Mikey! It’s really big and the walls are dark blue. It’s even better than my old room. A lady came in while I was playing. She watched me for a long time then left. I didn’t like her too much. She stared at me and didn’t ever smile.
Daddy even let me eat! The same lady was at the table with me and Daddy, and she still didn’t smiled. She talked about some stuff I didn’t really care about and told me she would be back the next day. I didn’t want her to come back though, but I think she’s the reason Daddy’s been so nice to me.
I wish I wasn’t right, Mikey. The lady came back again and watched me all day. Daddy tucked me into bed while he was talking to her, and she said that she wasn’t coming back because everything looked okay. Daddy smiled at her and walked out of the room with her. When he came back, he wasn’t smiling anymore. He told me to get up and follow him. I didn’t know if I was coming back so I grabbed my blue Power Ranger action figure before we left the room. I followed him all the way back to my closet and locked me in it again.
I don’t understand, Mikey. Why do I have to stay in my closet if there’s so many rooms in the house? I saw a lot when I was going back to my closet, and no one’s in any of them. Maybe I have to be really special to sleep in a room. I know I’m not that special, so that has to be why. Maybe if I could learn to talk Daddy would love me and let me sleep in a bed again.
I think Daddy left us a long time ago because of me. Because I’m stupid. You were wrong when you told that other guy I wasn’t. Daddy’s older and he knows a lot, and he would never lie to me. Why did you lie to me, Mikey? I think you did it just to make me feel happy. I like that about you. You make me happy. But I’m not happy anymore, Mikey. I don’t think I can ever be again.
Comments and Con-crit. greatly appreciated. :] You deserve a cooookie.