Take a Chance - Tora/Saga - 2/4
Title: Take a Chance
Chapter(s): part II/xx
Author: sentimentalenvy
Genre: AU/Romance/Comedy/little angst?
Rating: PG-13 *omguh what o: ?*
Warnings: language
Pairing/Characters: Tora/Saga, Shou/Saga (one sided)
Synopsis: Saga is afraid to tell him how he truly feels because there’s a barrier that’s preventing him from letting Tora see his deepest desires. Tora may be the closest person to him, but they will never be truly connected until Saga has a part of him he has always wanted. Sadly, it’s inevitable because he'll never want Saga the way he wants him.
Comments: Practically every comment has been asking for a sequel o: so I’m just going to continue o:
2
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Tick…tick…tick…
Each and every single annoying tick that clock made frustrated Saga like no other. His eyebrows knitted together in annoyance as he smacked the palm of his hand against his forehead. He wasn’t wasted at all last night, but there was no doubt in his mind: he should never have let Tora drag him out that night.
That night, after a completely spontaneous make out session in his car, it took everything he could to rip himself from Tora’s grasp. He may have stumbled out of his car like a fool, but he would rather look foolish then do something he was going to regret. It was impossible to stay with that man but there was no way Saga could live without him either. What a fucking annoying dilemma.
“Geez,” Saga scoffed under his breath as he lay back down onto his couch. Taking a quick glance at the clock, he sighed wearily. 6 A.M. huh?
Tora was still sleeping in his room, but Saga didn’t mind sleeping outside at all. He recalled the pleading look in Tora’s eyes when the other man told him to accompany him to join him. That voice penetrated through his brain warning him and pleading for him not to listen. Tora was pulling him into a trap without meaning to, and it wasn’t his fault - Saga knew. Tora didn’t know of his feelings, and he was never going to tell him. Living through over 11 years of unrequited love was harsh. Nobody could beat him in terms of patience. What patience? Just what the hell was Saga waiting for? And to think more than 11 years was more than enough…
Grumbling nonsense to himself, Saga eventually made his way off his couth and immediately headed for the kitchen. Tora was going to need some Gatorade and a lot of saltine crackers when he woke up. Pain killers would come in handy as well. If only there was a pain killer for these stupid emotions.
“So stupid…why do I still have these kinds of feelings?” He muttered softly to nobody in particular. Twisting the sink knob open and made the water as cold as possible. Splashing the icy cold water onto his face, he shuddered slightly at the sudden cold water prickling at his face. “Stupid…”
The sudden vibration in his pockets startled him and Saga jumped with a startle. Fumbling around into his pockets from his phone, Saga was too much of a wreck to check the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Saga-samuhh.”
“Oh my god.”
That all too familiar voice sent shivers down his spine. Why now God? Why? Why?!
“Yees?”
“I’m not calling you a God retard,” Saga rolled his eyes as he turned the knob off and walked over to his fridge to fish out a big bottle of lemon flavored Gatorade. “What do you want Shou? Do you have any idea what time it is? If I were to be sleeping, this would be considered rude.”
“Why do you always have to be so mean to me?” Shou whined, and Saga could evidently hear the pout in his voice. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“I didn’t think it was my problem,” Saga muttered, shutting the fridge. He shifted his weight onto his right foot and reached towards the cabinet to open it for those saltine crackers.
“No, but I was just wondering if you’re up for an early breakfast,” Shou said. “Oh come on Saga! I haven’t asked you out in the longest time. The least you can do is hang out with me for one morning.”
“You know,” Saga sighed. “I would but I have a drunkard in my hands right now.”
“It’s Tora isn’t it?” Shou asked, and Saga could have sworn he could imagine Shou gripping his phone and the way Tora’s name came out of his mouth was always like venom. Saga sighed.
“Yes. He’s sleeping right now, and I’m just preparing the usual. You know how hangovers are.” Saga walked over to the cabinet on his right to take out some aspirin. “So I’m sorry.”
“No prob. I’ll just come over right now.”
“WHAT? NO!”
“Why not? I just wanna help!” Shou said with that grin in his voice. Crap. “You guys are at your place right? Hold on I’ll be right there!”
“Wait! No! Sho-damn it!” Saga cursed and slammed the cabinet shut.
Shou was always such a little pest. To be honest, Saga never really minded Shou’s constant pestering, but the only thing that made it awkward was the fact that Shou actually had a crush on Saga when they were in high school. Saga had a bad feeling that Shou might still harbor those feelings till this day. Tora and Shou had never really gotten along, and Saga couldn’t understand why. He hated being in the middle of things because one person always asked him to take a side - especially Tora.
After preparing Tora’s hangover remedies on the dining table, he decided to check up on Tora and take a quick shower. If Shou were to come by then well that was too bad. He padded his way carefully into his room and began to gather fresh clothes. Saga couldn’t help but take a glance at Tora every few seconds. One of his favorite things to do was to just watch Tora when he was sleeping.
Tora was such a tough guy on the outside and everyone had always gotten that sort of cold impression from him. It’s probably because he’s always trying to pick a fight… Saga recalled that day when some masculine strong man had attempted to feel up on him. The man was obviously taller and stronger looking than he was, and Saga knew he had to find Tora fast. The bastard may have been talking dirty in English, but Saga understood the gist of it. Tora wasn’t the greatest with his English either, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out what the man was saying. Tora had that guy’s ass flat onto the pavement within a millisecond. Of course Saga was never allowed to miss a never ending lecture from Tora about how to he needed to defend himself because he was a ‘man’.
Tora didn’t seem to mind that people though differently of him, but to Saga, it meant everything. He didn’t understand but when he asked Tora how the hell he could endure it, Tora just shrugged and said the last thing he wanted was for Saga to think of him differently. His lips curved into a shy smile as he made his way into the bathroom.
“Hah that was refreshing,” Saga murmured, and for a moment he had forgotten that Tora was still in the room. “Shit,” Saga hissed as he scrambled his way back into the bathroom to change into his clothes.
As if God was looking down at him and laughing right now, his doorbell had run with a loud bing bong. Saga dressed as fast as he could, but sadly, thoughts of Shou breaking into his apartment flooded into his mind. How the hell did anyone break in with a damn credit card?!
Saga scrambled back out of the bathroom with only his jeans on but at least he felt half decent. Practically half throwing the weight of his body onto the door, he opened it with a frantic look on his face.
“Wow Saga…you’ve prepared yourself for me. Come here baby!” Shou gasped and half pranced towards Saga.
“Shut up and get in here,” Saga frowned, and yanked the grinning blonde into his apartment. “Be quiet! Tora’s still sleeping,” Saga hissed as he punched Shou hard on the arm.
“Oh right. He’s here,” Shou muttered.
“Didn’t you say you were gonna come over to help me take care of him in the first place?” Saga asked with a roll of his eyes.
“Oh please. I didn’t think you’d actually believe that. It was an excuse to come over.” Shou shrugged and toed off his shoes. He walked into the living room and flopped his body into the fluffy couch. “I’m gonna be taking a little nap now. It’s still early in the morning,” He yawned, and flipped lazily onto his side.
“Yeah some help you are,” Saga snorted. “I’m gonna go put something on,” He muttered, heading towards his bedroom.
“Wait I’ll come with -”
“Don’t even think about it,” Saga shot Shou a stern look as the blonde froze from mid motion.
“Why?” He whined. “Leaving you and Tora in the same room with you all sexed up and half nekkid...I won’t allow it!” Shou said, raising his voice, he flipped to his right side to face Saga.
“Get your mind out of the gutter!” Saga hissed. He shot a quick glance at Tora from his opened bedroom door and looked at Shou again. “Why are you so damn paranoid? Tora doesn’t even like guys.”
“Whatever. C’mon Saga - get real. He may not like guys that way, but he’s still a man and a man’s got urges. If you were to blindfold him and take advantage of him right there he would still feel good regardless if it’s a man or a woman. You could be an old woman feeling him up and he’ll still feel good,” Shou shrugged and cuddled back into the sofa.
Saga’s face flushed pink in embarrassment because he suddenly just imagined himself climbing onto the clueless blindfolded Tora and doing unimaginably crazy things he wouldn’t do if he were sane. God… No! There was no way that was ever going to happen. Shou needed to keep his stupid thoughts to himself because they were sketching out naughty images throughout his mind. Saga’s imaginations were just itching to make them dirtier.
Saga had no idea how long he was going to live life like this. But the only thing on his mind right now was getting Tora over his hang over when he woke up. Since Shou was taking a nap on his couch, he might as well sleep in his own bed. Even if Tora was already occupying his bed right now, he could care less. He wasn’t going to get kicked out of his own bed when Tora woke up because even his best friend should know better than to shove him out of his own property.
With a tired sigh, he gently scooted Tora further towards the left side of the bed. He pulled the blanket and sheets up and snuggled into the warmth that Tora had left behind before he was pushed to the side. Saga sighed in the toasty sensation, and looked to his left to see Tora sleeping peacefully…for now. Leaning a little closer, he watched the heaving chest and listened to Tora’s heavy breathing. Saga loved him best when he was like this because when Tora was sleeping, Saga could watch him longingly without the brunette punching him and yelling at him telling him not to look at him that way.
How could he not? The man was drop dead gorgeous and it was hard enough for Saga not to act like a fan boy or a mindless squealing fan girl. They annoyed Tora to no end, and Saga pouted inwardly every time he was ranting about how some people pissed him off for the most random things. Tora wasn’t much of a hard person to get along with. As long as you weren’t annoying you were okay in his book. The problem was…what was his definition of annoying? Would he find Saga annoying once Saga told him something he didn’t want to hear?
He couldn’t risk telling Tora of such an embarrassing matter. What would Tora say? Buy a ticket out of Japan just to get away from him? Tora never really had a problem with couples of the same sex, but he didn’t like the idea either. Saga groaned inwardly. He would throw an insult here and there and that annoyed Saga to no end. There were moments when Tora had gone too far, and Saga had to use all of his strength to hold his ground to prevent himself from either tackling Tora down to the floor to beat at his face with his fists or just a simple slap across the face would suffice. But then Tora would probably call him a sissy and he would pretty much get humiliated either way.
What else could he do? Eventually Tora was going to find out…and he would have to come up with another excuse. No wait. What did he promise himself earlier? No more excuses. But right now wasn’t a right time. Saga would decide to tell him once that opportunity came up. After a moment of propping up on his elbows, he watched Tora sleep for a few more minutes before he bravely snuggled closer to his friend. Saga sighed, and rested his head onto Tora’s chest and wondered what it would be like if this situation was different.
He had often had dreams about how Tora never minded when he got really close. He imagined what it would be like if Tora let them cuddle, or possibly even let him give friendly kisses on the cheek. Saga didn’t mind the man hugs, but God Tora could get aggressive. Didn’t Saga look breakable enough? Saga sighed inwardly and decided that he would stay like this for a couple of minutes before he crawled back to his own corner of the bed. It wasn’t often that he would take such risks to get this close to Tora, but it was one of those spontaneous moments where he threw all caution into the wind. One long moment of shut eye was all it took for Saga to conk out.
“Sagacchi! Come here!”
Saga’s head popped up to see a little Tora running towards a brown headed boy with a toy car and a control in his hands. Saga looked around to see where he was, and he realized that the boy Tora was running to was actually himself. Obviously this was a dream, but what the hell did it mean? He watched the young Tora drag his younger self further into the park, and he couldn’t help but follow them.
Saga new this was a dream, but this dream had to have some sort of meaning behind it. He immediately recognized the scenery. This little park had been torn down long ago, but he remembered it was the same location where he had met his best friend. This was their hangout spot, and he guessed Tora was going to take them to their secret hide out. They were 10 year old boys, and Tora was still into comic books, toys and skateboarding. And best of all, he called Saga by his nickname. Where did those days go? Why didn’t Tora call him that anymore? Saga was too drowned out by his thoughts he had lost track of where the younger him and Tora ran off to. Shooting a glance here and there, he ran towards nowhere in particular.
“Dammit…lost them…I mean me…and him…ugh, whatever,” Saga grumbled to himself, and before he knew it, his eyes had flashed open.
Saga’s eyelids fluttered open, and he was immediately greeted by the blindness of the morning light through his window. Several seconds had passed and he looked down to see that he was still lying on his friend’s chest. ‘Shit…oh god please don’t be awake..’ Saga thought, and a wave of panic had flowed into his system. He didn’t feel that normal steady breathing of sleeping, and when he looked up, he saw a hung over awake Tora staring down at him with an eyebrow raised.
“Hueeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!” Saga yelped, and immediately flew towards the edge of his side of the bed.
“Damn Saga! Not so loud!” Tora winced. “Geez…are you trying to blow my brains out? Cause’ you sure are doing a wonderful job,” Tora muttered as he held onto his head for a long moment. “What’s up with you anyway? It’s not like you did it intentionally.”
If only Tora knew.
“Don’t scare me,” Saga gasped. His hand was still clinging to his own chest in attempt to calm his own breathing. Damn, he had become careless. He was getting really sick of that game, but he couldn’t give up now. “If you were awake, why didn’t you wake me up?! Jerk…”
“Ngh…” Tora shook his head and squinted as if he was trying to regain control of his vision. “Well it would be rude of me to wake you. This is your bed after all.”
“Saga Saga I heard you scream! What did he do to you?!” Shou exclaimed, bursting through the open door. He came to a stop to stare at Tora with a glint of annoyance in his eyes.
“Shou?” Tora’s eyes widened and narrowed a second later. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Tora,” Shou muttered with a vengeance in the tone of his voice. “Well I figured I could help Saga help you from your hangover. Because of you, Saga can’t go on a breakfast date with me. It’s your fault.”
“Oh god come on guys…cut it out,” Saga sighed, and slipped out of bed. Almost immediately, he grabbed a shirt from his closet and slipped it on. “C’mon Shou. Help me get the stuff,” He said, running towards the door and pulled Shou along while they slipped out.
“Shou, would you please cut the crap?!” Saga muttered, slapping Shou on the arm. “You forget the fact that he doesn’t know that I like guys. Don’t even think about dropping any damn hints.”
“Why should you care about that anyway?” Shou hissed back. “If he’s your oh so very best friend, shouldn’t he accept you no matter who you are? How long are you going to go through with this unrequited love?” Shou demanded.
Looking into Saga’s sad eyes it was too obvious. Shou knew of Saga’s feelings towards the brunette and it pained him to see Tora overlooking that one fact. Shou respected that, so he never decided to give Tora the impression of Saga ever liking people of the same sex. But everyone had their limits, and Shou had his.
“You know of my feelings too…it’s still the same you know,” He murmured softly, and put a hand at the palm of Saga’s cheek. “I’ve been there for you since freshman year of high school. You never let me take you out on a real date, and you never give me a chance. I don’t wanna force you into anything you don’t wanna do…and I know of your feelings of…that person, and yet I’m still right here waiting,” Shou exhaled, and Saga found Shou’s hands gripping either side of his small shoulders.
“Shou…I’m…really sorry,” Saga whispered in a tiny voice. “But do you really want to try this when I can’t return your feelings? It’s not fair to you.”
“I don’t care,” Shou kept his voice low in hopes that Tora wouldn’t over hear him. “Give me a chance Saga. You don’t know if you don’t try.”
“I can’t...I don't...know,” Saga sighed as Shou slid the palm of his hand up his shoulders and rested against the crook of his neck.
He had to admit, it was nice being held and touched so tenderly and carefully. He briefly wondered if Shou could really give him what he wanted. Saga wanted to be taken cared of - he wanted someone to love him in return. But, he didn’t love Shou anymore than a brother and a friend. Could that possibly change? Shou is most definitely a great guy. He was sweet, generous, gentle, and insanely considerate - really good looking…
“I don’t know…” Saga had decided on that answer, because he really didn’t know. It was hard to let go…so very hard. “I…I at least have to find out from him first,” Saga said, looking into Shou’s eyes, he took a firm grasp at both of Shou’s wrists.
“I’ll…give...it a try, but I need to find out from him first. I need more time.”
“But you - ” Shou looked like he was going to protest, and Saga knew what he was going to say. He knew Shou was going to tell him that there was no point. But he understood that he hadn’t given up on Tora yet. “Alright, I’ll respect that. If you ever get tired of him…come back to me,” Shou let out a chuckle as he leaned forward to place a soft kiss against Saga’s forehead. “I don’t know what you see in that bastard.”
Saga laughed.
“But if you like him, I would assume he must be a good guy. I still don’t like him though,” Shou shrugged. “But…I am glad to hear you say that. Thanks...for giving me hope.” He said with a sheepish grin.
“Live with it. You’ve always told me you wanted to see me happy right? Well if you want to see me happy, get along with him and we’ll be good,” Saga rolled his eyes, and punched Shou in the stomach.
“Ergh. I knew deep down you didn’t hate me!” Shou squealed as he pulled Saga into a tight embrace.
“Argh! Alright I get it Shou! Lemme go!” Saga exclaimed, and he tried to wriggle out of Shou’s grasp. Saga knew he was never stronger than Shou, and half the time he never succeeded in getting out of Shou’s grasp unless Tora was around. Speaking of which…
“Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Came that deep voice which was like music to his ears. And all of a sudden, Shou wasn’t holding him anymore.
Saga looked up to see Tora still holding onto Shou’s jacket from behind. As a quick reaction, he ran up to the two and ripped Tora’s grip away from Shou’s jacket. Pushing the two of them apart with his arms, he faced Tora and sent him a stern look.
“Don’t even try,” Saga said, grabbed at Tora’s wrist and dragged him towards the dining table. “He’s here to help me out so why don’t you help me out by taking your aspirins?”
“Well I don’t need him here. Seeing him here is 10 times worse than a fucking hangover,” Tora muttered bluntly, and he shot Shou a keening death glare. “I know what you’re all about you friggin’ freak. Still trying to get into Saga’s pants are you?”
“Tora!” Saga exclaimed with shock in his voice. Feeling embarrassed, he pulled roughly at Tora’s arm. “Stop it.”
“What if I am?” Shou smirked, and raised an eyebrow tauntingly at Tora. “How is that any of your business?”
Shou chuckled at Saga’s gawking expression. How in the world was this amusing to anyone?! Saga had a bad feeling…everything about this was so wrong. He felt Tora’s arm muscles flex and he looked down at Tora’s hand to see it had curled into a fist. Oh no. Panic was rising once more in Saga’s chest and he was already plotting out plans to stop the situation from getting out of hand. Those two beating each other’s asses in his apartment wasn’t a pretty sight at all.
“Everything about Saga is my business. I’ve had enough of your sexual harassment. You’re still the same as always. Always popping in and out of Saga’s life…you’re really pissing me off. Don’t you already see that Saga doesn’t like you that way? I’m sorry if he’s not one of your types. But he doesn’t swing that way.”
A pang of hurt sliced through Saga’s chest as he felt a whimper stuck in his dry throat. Those weren’t the words he had wanted to hear. He didn’t want to hear them again, and Tora just had to say it again…
Stop it Tora…please just…stop talking…
“Huh. That may be,” Shou said, looking at Saga with a reassuring look, he shifted his attention back to Tora. “But at least I’m honest with my feelings. At least I know who I have feelings for. I know who I’m love with, and I’m in love with you, Saga.” Shou had told both him and Tora with such confidence, Saga was touched, but he was also feeling more uncomfortable with the situation because Tora’s arm was visibly trembling…and Saga assumed it was anger. Tora scoffed and a bitter laugh followed right after.
“Tough luck. We get it. You’re gay. Good for you. But Saga isn’t. There’s no reason for him to associate himself with that of your type, or to be seen with a faggo-”
“TORA!”
A loud keen smack echoed throughout the room and bounced off his ears. Before Saga could process anything into his brain, his arm was in the air, and Tora’s face was marked with a dark pink and red flush printed on his left cheek. Tora stared at nothing in particular, probably because of the shock of what Saga had just done. Shou was staring at Saga as if he was out of his mind. Sure he was picking a little verbal brawl with Tora, but nobody had expected Saga to hit anybody.
Saga gasped in shock of what he had done himself, and he quickly hid his hands behind him. Backing away from Tora, he found himself backing up towards Shou. Shou placed a hand at Saga’s shoulder, but Saga had immediately flinched at the touch so the blonde knew better than to lay a finger on his friend at this very moment. For a long while nobody had spoken a word, and Tora was still zoning out into space.
At first Saga had covered his mouth in shock and regret, but then he realized that he didn’t regret what he had done. Tora needed to watch what shot out of his mouth, and as much as Saga always supported Tora in most of what he did, insulting him was not one of them. He loved his best friend…he truly did but…even he had self respect for himself.
To be stuck in this sort of situation was everything Saga was afraid of. Was this the time where he was supposed to confess right now? Had God seriously set this up for him? There is no timing worse than this. Excuses were flowing into Saga’s head once more, and he didn’t know what he was going to say. Tora was probably going to kick his ass for hitting him. Yes, that was probably it. He was so epically screwed and he was going to get beaten up by his best friend. Saga clenched his eyes shut as the plots and plans to get out flowed through his mind. Self respect…screw self respect! Should he throw himself onto his knees and beg for forgiveness? Oh God - he was so scared.
“Saga…”
Saga’s ears twitched at the deep and shocked voice of the brunette. Saga’s brain was struggling for more excuses and reasons he could possibly dish out in hopes that Tora would buy them and forgive him. That was when he had realized one thing.
There was no room for excuses.
A/N: Yes I know that part where Shou says "Saga-samuuh" is supposed to be 'Saga-sama'. It's just to emphasize the way he says it since Saga hates being called that ._.;
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1 | 3
Chapter(s): part II/xx
Author: sentimentalenvy
Genre: AU/Romance/Comedy/little angst?
Rating: PG-13 *omguh what o: ?*
Warnings: language
Pairing/Characters: Tora/Saga, Shou/Saga (one sided)
Synopsis: Saga is afraid to tell him how he truly feels because there’s a barrier that’s preventing him from letting Tora see his deepest desires. Tora may be the closest person to him, but they will never be truly connected until Saga has a part of him he has always wanted. Sadly, it’s inevitable because he'll never want Saga the way he wants him.
Comments: Practically every comment has been asking for a sequel o: so I’m just going to continue o:
2
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Tick…tick…tick…
Each and every single annoying tick that clock made frustrated Saga like no other. His eyebrows knitted together in annoyance as he smacked the palm of his hand against his forehead. He wasn’t wasted at all last night, but there was no doubt in his mind: he should never have let Tora drag him out that night.
That night, after a completely spontaneous make out session in his car, it took everything he could to rip himself from Tora’s grasp. He may have stumbled out of his car like a fool, but he would rather look foolish then do something he was going to regret. It was impossible to stay with that man but there was no way Saga could live without him either. What a fucking annoying dilemma.
“Geez,” Saga scoffed under his breath as he lay back down onto his couch. Taking a quick glance at the clock, he sighed wearily. 6 A.M. huh?
Tora was still sleeping in his room, but Saga didn’t mind sleeping outside at all. He recalled the pleading look in Tora’s eyes when the other man told him to accompany him to join him. That voice penetrated through his brain warning him and pleading for him not to listen. Tora was pulling him into a trap without meaning to, and it wasn’t his fault - Saga knew. Tora didn’t know of his feelings, and he was never going to tell him. Living through over 11 years of unrequited love was harsh. Nobody could beat him in terms of patience. What patience? Just what the hell was Saga waiting for? And to think more than 11 years was more than enough…
Grumbling nonsense to himself, Saga eventually made his way off his couth and immediately headed for the kitchen. Tora was going to need some Gatorade and a lot of saltine crackers when he woke up. Pain killers would come in handy as well. If only there was a pain killer for these stupid emotions.
“So stupid…why do I still have these kinds of feelings?” He muttered softly to nobody in particular. Twisting the sink knob open and made the water as cold as possible. Splashing the icy cold water onto his face, he shuddered slightly at the sudden cold water prickling at his face. “Stupid…”
The sudden vibration in his pockets startled him and Saga jumped with a startle. Fumbling around into his pockets from his phone, Saga was too much of a wreck to check the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Saga-samuhh.”
“Oh my god.”
That all too familiar voice sent shivers down his spine. Why now God? Why? Why?!
“Yees?”
“I’m not calling you a God retard,” Saga rolled his eyes as he turned the knob off and walked over to his fridge to fish out a big bottle of lemon flavored Gatorade. “What do you want Shou? Do you have any idea what time it is? If I were to be sleeping, this would be considered rude.”
“Why do you always have to be so mean to me?” Shou whined, and Saga could evidently hear the pout in his voice. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“I didn’t think it was my problem,” Saga muttered, shutting the fridge. He shifted his weight onto his right foot and reached towards the cabinet to open it for those saltine crackers.
“No, but I was just wondering if you’re up for an early breakfast,” Shou said. “Oh come on Saga! I haven’t asked you out in the longest time. The least you can do is hang out with me for one morning.”
“You know,” Saga sighed. “I would but I have a drunkard in my hands right now.”
“It’s Tora isn’t it?” Shou asked, and Saga could have sworn he could imagine Shou gripping his phone and the way Tora’s name came out of his mouth was always like venom. Saga sighed.
“Yes. He’s sleeping right now, and I’m just preparing the usual. You know how hangovers are.” Saga walked over to the cabinet on his right to take out some aspirin. “So I’m sorry.”
“No prob. I’ll just come over right now.”
“WHAT? NO!”
“Why not? I just wanna help!” Shou said with that grin in his voice. Crap. “You guys are at your place right? Hold on I’ll be right there!”
“Wait! No! Sho-damn it!” Saga cursed and slammed the cabinet shut.
Shou was always such a little pest. To be honest, Saga never really minded Shou’s constant pestering, but the only thing that made it awkward was the fact that Shou actually had a crush on Saga when they were in high school. Saga had a bad feeling that Shou might still harbor those feelings till this day. Tora and Shou had never really gotten along, and Saga couldn’t understand why. He hated being in the middle of things because one person always asked him to take a side - especially Tora.
After preparing Tora’s hangover remedies on the dining table, he decided to check up on Tora and take a quick shower. If Shou were to come by then well that was too bad. He padded his way carefully into his room and began to gather fresh clothes. Saga couldn’t help but take a glance at Tora every few seconds. One of his favorite things to do was to just watch Tora when he was sleeping.
Tora was such a tough guy on the outside and everyone had always gotten that sort of cold impression from him. It’s probably because he’s always trying to pick a fight… Saga recalled that day when some masculine strong man had attempted to feel up on him. The man was obviously taller and stronger looking than he was, and Saga knew he had to find Tora fast. The bastard may have been talking dirty in English, but Saga understood the gist of it. Tora wasn’t the greatest with his English either, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out what the man was saying. Tora had that guy’s ass flat onto the pavement within a millisecond. Of course Saga was never allowed to miss a never ending lecture from Tora about how to he needed to defend himself because he was a ‘man’.
Tora didn’t seem to mind that people though differently of him, but to Saga, it meant everything. He didn’t understand but when he asked Tora how the hell he could endure it, Tora just shrugged and said the last thing he wanted was for Saga to think of him differently. His lips curved into a shy smile as he made his way into the bathroom.
“Hah that was refreshing,” Saga murmured, and for a moment he had forgotten that Tora was still in the room. “Shit,” Saga hissed as he scrambled his way back into the bathroom to change into his clothes.
As if God was looking down at him and laughing right now, his doorbell had run with a loud bing bong. Saga dressed as fast as he could, but sadly, thoughts of Shou breaking into his apartment flooded into his mind. How the hell did anyone break in with a damn credit card?!
Saga scrambled back out of the bathroom with only his jeans on but at least he felt half decent. Practically half throwing the weight of his body onto the door, he opened it with a frantic look on his face.
“Wow Saga…you’ve prepared yourself for me. Come here baby!” Shou gasped and half pranced towards Saga.
“Shut up and get in here,” Saga frowned, and yanked the grinning blonde into his apartment. “Be quiet! Tora’s still sleeping,” Saga hissed as he punched Shou hard on the arm.
“Oh right. He’s here,” Shou muttered.
“Didn’t you say you were gonna come over to help me take care of him in the first place?” Saga asked with a roll of his eyes.
“Oh please. I didn’t think you’d actually believe that. It was an excuse to come over.” Shou shrugged and toed off his shoes. He walked into the living room and flopped his body into the fluffy couch. “I’m gonna be taking a little nap now. It’s still early in the morning,” He yawned, and flipped lazily onto his side.
“Yeah some help you are,” Saga snorted. “I’m gonna go put something on,” He muttered, heading towards his bedroom.
“Wait I’ll come with -”
“Don’t even think about it,” Saga shot Shou a stern look as the blonde froze from mid motion.
“Why?” He whined. “Leaving you and Tora in the same room with you all sexed up and half nekkid...I won’t allow it!” Shou said, raising his voice, he flipped to his right side to face Saga.
“Get your mind out of the gutter!” Saga hissed. He shot a quick glance at Tora from his opened bedroom door and looked at Shou again. “Why are you so damn paranoid? Tora doesn’t even like guys.”
“Whatever. C’mon Saga - get real. He may not like guys that way, but he’s still a man and a man’s got urges. If you were to blindfold him and take advantage of him right there he would still feel good regardless if it’s a man or a woman. You could be an old woman feeling him up and he’ll still feel good,” Shou shrugged and cuddled back into the sofa.
Saga’s face flushed pink in embarrassment because he suddenly just imagined himself climbing onto the clueless blindfolded Tora and doing unimaginably crazy things he wouldn’t do if he were sane. God… No! There was no way that was ever going to happen. Shou needed to keep his stupid thoughts to himself because they were sketching out naughty images throughout his mind. Saga’s imaginations were just itching to make them dirtier.
Saga had no idea how long he was going to live life like this. But the only thing on his mind right now was getting Tora over his hang over when he woke up. Since Shou was taking a nap on his couch, he might as well sleep in his own bed. Even if Tora was already occupying his bed right now, he could care less. He wasn’t going to get kicked out of his own bed when Tora woke up because even his best friend should know better than to shove him out of his own property.
With a tired sigh, he gently scooted Tora further towards the left side of the bed. He pulled the blanket and sheets up and snuggled into the warmth that Tora had left behind before he was pushed to the side. Saga sighed in the toasty sensation, and looked to his left to see Tora sleeping peacefully…for now. Leaning a little closer, he watched the heaving chest and listened to Tora’s heavy breathing. Saga loved him best when he was like this because when Tora was sleeping, Saga could watch him longingly without the brunette punching him and yelling at him telling him not to look at him that way.
How could he not? The man was drop dead gorgeous and it was hard enough for Saga not to act like a fan boy or a mindless squealing fan girl. They annoyed Tora to no end, and Saga pouted inwardly every time he was ranting about how some people pissed him off for the most random things. Tora wasn’t much of a hard person to get along with. As long as you weren’t annoying you were okay in his book. The problem was…what was his definition of annoying? Would he find Saga annoying once Saga told him something he didn’t want to hear?
He couldn’t risk telling Tora of such an embarrassing matter. What would Tora say? Buy a ticket out of Japan just to get away from him? Tora never really had a problem with couples of the same sex, but he didn’t like the idea either. Saga groaned inwardly. He would throw an insult here and there and that annoyed Saga to no end. There were moments when Tora had gone too far, and Saga had to use all of his strength to hold his ground to prevent himself from either tackling Tora down to the floor to beat at his face with his fists or just a simple slap across the face would suffice. But then Tora would probably call him a sissy and he would pretty much get humiliated either way.
What else could he do? Eventually Tora was going to find out…and he would have to come up with another excuse. No wait. What did he promise himself earlier? No more excuses. But right now wasn’t a right time. Saga would decide to tell him once that opportunity came up. After a moment of propping up on his elbows, he watched Tora sleep for a few more minutes before he bravely snuggled closer to his friend. Saga sighed, and rested his head onto Tora’s chest and wondered what it would be like if this situation was different.
He had often had dreams about how Tora never minded when he got really close. He imagined what it would be like if Tora let them cuddle, or possibly even let him give friendly kisses on the cheek. Saga didn’t mind the man hugs, but God Tora could get aggressive. Didn’t Saga look breakable enough? Saga sighed inwardly and decided that he would stay like this for a couple of minutes before he crawled back to his own corner of the bed. It wasn’t often that he would take such risks to get this close to Tora, but it was one of those spontaneous moments where he threw all caution into the wind. One long moment of shut eye was all it took for Saga to conk out.
“Sagacchi! Come here!”
Saga’s head popped up to see a little Tora running towards a brown headed boy with a toy car and a control in his hands. Saga looked around to see where he was, and he realized that the boy Tora was running to was actually himself. Obviously this was a dream, but what the hell did it mean? He watched the young Tora drag his younger self further into the park, and he couldn’t help but follow them.
Saga new this was a dream, but this dream had to have some sort of meaning behind it. He immediately recognized the scenery. This little park had been torn down long ago, but he remembered it was the same location where he had met his best friend. This was their hangout spot, and he guessed Tora was going to take them to their secret hide out. They were 10 year old boys, and Tora was still into comic books, toys and skateboarding. And best of all, he called Saga by his nickname. Where did those days go? Why didn’t Tora call him that anymore? Saga was too drowned out by his thoughts he had lost track of where the younger him and Tora ran off to. Shooting a glance here and there, he ran towards nowhere in particular.
“Dammit…lost them…I mean me…and him…ugh, whatever,” Saga grumbled to himself, and before he knew it, his eyes had flashed open.
Saga’s eyelids fluttered open, and he was immediately greeted by the blindness of the morning light through his window. Several seconds had passed and he looked down to see that he was still lying on his friend’s chest. ‘Shit…oh god please don’t be awake..’ Saga thought, and a wave of panic had flowed into his system. He didn’t feel that normal steady breathing of sleeping, and when he looked up, he saw a hung over awake Tora staring down at him with an eyebrow raised.
“Hueeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!” Saga yelped, and immediately flew towards the edge of his side of the bed.
“Damn Saga! Not so loud!” Tora winced. “Geez…are you trying to blow my brains out? Cause’ you sure are doing a wonderful job,” Tora muttered as he held onto his head for a long moment. “What’s up with you anyway? It’s not like you did it intentionally.”
If only Tora knew.
“Don’t scare me,” Saga gasped. His hand was still clinging to his own chest in attempt to calm his own breathing. Damn, he had become careless. He was getting really sick of that game, but he couldn’t give up now. “If you were awake, why didn’t you wake me up?! Jerk…”
“Ngh…” Tora shook his head and squinted as if he was trying to regain control of his vision. “Well it would be rude of me to wake you. This is your bed after all.”
“Saga Saga I heard you scream! What did he do to you?!” Shou exclaimed, bursting through the open door. He came to a stop to stare at Tora with a glint of annoyance in his eyes.
“Shou?” Tora’s eyes widened and narrowed a second later. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Tora,” Shou muttered with a vengeance in the tone of his voice. “Well I figured I could help Saga help you from your hangover. Because of you, Saga can’t go on a breakfast date with me. It’s your fault.”
“Oh god come on guys…cut it out,” Saga sighed, and slipped out of bed. Almost immediately, he grabbed a shirt from his closet and slipped it on. “C’mon Shou. Help me get the stuff,” He said, running towards the door and pulled Shou along while they slipped out.
“Shou, would you please cut the crap?!” Saga muttered, slapping Shou on the arm. “You forget the fact that he doesn’t know that I like guys. Don’t even think about dropping any damn hints.”
“Why should you care about that anyway?” Shou hissed back. “If he’s your oh so very best friend, shouldn’t he accept you no matter who you are? How long are you going to go through with this unrequited love?” Shou demanded.
Looking into Saga’s sad eyes it was too obvious. Shou knew of Saga’s feelings towards the brunette and it pained him to see Tora overlooking that one fact. Shou respected that, so he never decided to give Tora the impression of Saga ever liking people of the same sex. But everyone had their limits, and Shou had his.
“You know of my feelings too…it’s still the same you know,” He murmured softly, and put a hand at the palm of Saga’s cheek. “I’ve been there for you since freshman year of high school. You never let me take you out on a real date, and you never give me a chance. I don’t wanna force you into anything you don’t wanna do…and I know of your feelings of…that person, and yet I’m still right here waiting,” Shou exhaled, and Saga found Shou’s hands gripping either side of his small shoulders.
“Shou…I’m…really sorry,” Saga whispered in a tiny voice. “But do you really want to try this when I can’t return your feelings? It’s not fair to you.”
“I don’t care,” Shou kept his voice low in hopes that Tora wouldn’t over hear him. “Give me a chance Saga. You don’t know if you don’t try.”
“I can’t...I don't...know,” Saga sighed as Shou slid the palm of his hand up his shoulders and rested against the crook of his neck.
He had to admit, it was nice being held and touched so tenderly and carefully. He briefly wondered if Shou could really give him what he wanted. Saga wanted to be taken cared of - he wanted someone to love him in return. But, he didn’t love Shou anymore than a brother and a friend. Could that possibly change? Shou is most definitely a great guy. He was sweet, generous, gentle, and insanely considerate - really good looking…
“I don’t know…” Saga had decided on that answer, because he really didn’t know. It was hard to let go…so very hard. “I…I at least have to find out from him first,” Saga said, looking into Shou’s eyes, he took a firm grasp at both of Shou’s wrists.
“I’ll…give...it a try, but I need to find out from him first. I need more time.”
“But you - ” Shou looked like he was going to protest, and Saga knew what he was going to say. He knew Shou was going to tell him that there was no point. But he understood that he hadn’t given up on Tora yet. “Alright, I’ll respect that. If you ever get tired of him…come back to me,” Shou let out a chuckle as he leaned forward to place a soft kiss against Saga’s forehead. “I don’t know what you see in that bastard.”
Saga laughed.
“But if you like him, I would assume he must be a good guy. I still don’t like him though,” Shou shrugged. “But…I am glad to hear you say that. Thanks...for giving me hope.” He said with a sheepish grin.
“Live with it. You’ve always told me you wanted to see me happy right? Well if you want to see me happy, get along with him and we’ll be good,” Saga rolled his eyes, and punched Shou in the stomach.
“Ergh. I knew deep down you didn’t hate me!” Shou squealed as he pulled Saga into a tight embrace.
“Argh! Alright I get it Shou! Lemme go!” Saga exclaimed, and he tried to wriggle out of Shou’s grasp. Saga knew he was never stronger than Shou, and half the time he never succeeded in getting out of Shou’s grasp unless Tora was around. Speaking of which…
“Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Came that deep voice which was like music to his ears. And all of a sudden, Shou wasn’t holding him anymore.
Saga looked up to see Tora still holding onto Shou’s jacket from behind. As a quick reaction, he ran up to the two and ripped Tora’s grip away from Shou’s jacket. Pushing the two of them apart with his arms, he faced Tora and sent him a stern look.
“Don’t even try,” Saga said, grabbed at Tora’s wrist and dragged him towards the dining table. “He’s here to help me out so why don’t you help me out by taking your aspirins?”
“Well I don’t need him here. Seeing him here is 10 times worse than a fucking hangover,” Tora muttered bluntly, and he shot Shou a keening death glare. “I know what you’re all about you friggin’ freak. Still trying to get into Saga’s pants are you?”
“Tora!” Saga exclaimed with shock in his voice. Feeling embarrassed, he pulled roughly at Tora’s arm. “Stop it.”
“What if I am?” Shou smirked, and raised an eyebrow tauntingly at Tora. “How is that any of your business?”
Shou chuckled at Saga’s gawking expression. How in the world was this amusing to anyone?! Saga had a bad feeling…everything about this was so wrong. He felt Tora’s arm muscles flex and he looked down at Tora’s hand to see it had curled into a fist. Oh no. Panic was rising once more in Saga’s chest and he was already plotting out plans to stop the situation from getting out of hand. Those two beating each other’s asses in his apartment wasn’t a pretty sight at all.
“Everything about Saga is my business. I’ve had enough of your sexual harassment. You’re still the same as always. Always popping in and out of Saga’s life…you’re really pissing me off. Don’t you already see that Saga doesn’t like you that way? I’m sorry if he’s not one of your types. But he doesn’t swing that way.”
A pang of hurt sliced through Saga’s chest as he felt a whimper stuck in his dry throat. Those weren’t the words he had wanted to hear. He didn’t want to hear them again, and Tora just had to say it again…
Stop it Tora…please just…stop talking…
“Huh. That may be,” Shou said, looking at Saga with a reassuring look, he shifted his attention back to Tora. “But at least I’m honest with my feelings. At least I know who I have feelings for. I know who I’m love with, and I’m in love with you, Saga.” Shou had told both him and Tora with such confidence, Saga was touched, but he was also feeling more uncomfortable with the situation because Tora’s arm was visibly trembling…and Saga assumed it was anger. Tora scoffed and a bitter laugh followed right after.
“Tough luck. We get it. You’re gay. Good for you. But Saga isn’t. There’s no reason for him to associate himself with that of your type, or to be seen with a faggo-”
“TORA!”
A loud keen smack echoed throughout the room and bounced off his ears. Before Saga could process anything into his brain, his arm was in the air, and Tora’s face was marked with a dark pink and red flush printed on his left cheek. Tora stared at nothing in particular, probably because of the shock of what Saga had just done. Shou was staring at Saga as if he was out of his mind. Sure he was picking a little verbal brawl with Tora, but nobody had expected Saga to hit anybody.
Saga gasped in shock of what he had done himself, and he quickly hid his hands behind him. Backing away from Tora, he found himself backing up towards Shou. Shou placed a hand at Saga’s shoulder, but Saga had immediately flinched at the touch so the blonde knew better than to lay a finger on his friend at this very moment. For a long while nobody had spoken a word, and Tora was still zoning out into space.
At first Saga had covered his mouth in shock and regret, but then he realized that he didn’t regret what he had done. Tora needed to watch what shot out of his mouth, and as much as Saga always supported Tora in most of what he did, insulting him was not one of them. He loved his best friend…he truly did but…even he had self respect for himself.
To be stuck in this sort of situation was everything Saga was afraid of. Was this the time where he was supposed to confess right now? Had God seriously set this up for him? There is no timing worse than this. Excuses were flowing into Saga’s head once more, and he didn’t know what he was going to say. Tora was probably going to kick his ass for hitting him. Yes, that was probably it. He was so epically screwed and he was going to get beaten up by his best friend. Saga clenched his eyes shut as the plots and plans to get out flowed through his mind. Self respect…screw self respect! Should he throw himself onto his knees and beg for forgiveness? Oh God - he was so scared.
“Saga…”
Saga’s ears twitched at the deep and shocked voice of the brunette. Saga’s brain was struggling for more excuses and reasons he could possibly dish out in hopes that Tora would buy them and forgive him. That was when he had realized one thing.
There was no room for excuses.
A/N: Yes I know that part where Shou says "Saga-samuuh" is supposed to be 'Saga-sama'. It's just to emphasize the way he says it since Saga hates being called that ._.;
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