Urk...And Then The News Cheered Me Up
I have 2 midterms, a paper, and a shitload of Chinese due this week. I can wing it, it's just going to hurt on impact.
Things break in threes; last week I blew a tire on the highway (2+ hours on the side of the road, though the AAA guy was really nice); that night my can opener broken and my desktop keyboard went batshit (it thinks it's a Cyrillic keyboard or some shit like that...damn Russians.) I'm sort of broke, so buying new tires at the end of the month is going to hurt, like only the loss of money can hurt an AZN. It's like impotency or something. (Not that I'd know about that, either way.)
I also have these hive things on my arms, and all the Bioterrorism research I've been doing for my papers is not making me feel better. It's probably an allergic reaction (even though I don't really get those), and I woke up this morning with more. DISEASE!!! RABID FLESH-EATING SMALLPOX/COMMUNIST CHINESE MEASLES/SPECKLED EBOLA-ACNE WITH EMO PATHOGENS!!! Well, I haven't quite done that yet, but when my brain wakes up, that might happen. (ZOMG I was in KY, so it wouldn't be Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, it would be Appalachian Mountain...oh never mind, this is ridiculous...) I also feel rather nauseous, though I suspect that might be from having questionable milk with my cereal...
I can't stop fantasizing about being back in my bed, tucked warm and snug under my cozy blankets, drifting off into pleasant dreams that amalgamate the best of Food Network, Bond movies, and human rights violations... T_T Why do I torment myself???
In other news, the news has cheered me up considerably, mostly because it's all so...bad?
Take, for example, the headline "Mexican anger over US 'trespass." I like the BBC's sense of humor. So the US wants to build a wall, yea, I agree that isn't going to keep them out. Ethics and humanitarian issues aside, if they really want to keep out illegals, a minefield would do the trick. With bear traps and giant sandworms. Or something.
"Many Mexicans see the fence as offensive and say it will be ineffective and potentially cause more deaths in border crossings. " I saw that, and I laughed so hard I choked on my uvula. 1. Some people see Mexico's blatant disregard for borders as offensive. 2. If it's causing more deaths, how is that ineffective?
I personally don't have a strong opinion on the whole "illegal immigrant" issue, but Mexico, as a country, need not whine about the US trying to make it harder for their citizens to cross over. Maybe they should try to make their country livable, or, if they really are set on joining the US, try annexing the whole damn country. The 51st state of Mexico and all that shite, but then they'd have to pay taxes. I don't really want to continue this train of thought.
Also, "Pakistan Kite Festival 'Kills 11'" Yes, take a moment, reread that one.
Stray bullets and sharp twine were among the causes of the deaths during the annual Basant festival. The Pakistan Supreme Court banned kite-flying in 2005 after nine people were killed during festivities in 2004.
*headdesk* Sharpened twine...banning kite flying... It makes me think of a super-violent Mary Poppins on PCP with heavy metal scream-a-long and umbrella-stabbings. But it is early, and I feel ill.
Farewell appearance for Farrakhan: And good riddance, I say, in my lovingly unPC diatribes. He said the world was at war because of divisions between people of different faiths. Go on, you might be at the beginning of something intelligent.
Speaking at an annual meeting of the Nation of Islam, Mr Farrakhan said that the US invaded Iraq because Saddam Hussein became an economic threat.
...Nope, nothing intelligent.
He also said that America had no right to deny Iran nuclear power, and urged young people not to join the military. "I'm here to tell you, brothers and sisters, that's the worst decision you can ever make."
*headdesk* Reading this will only make you sad. His imagination is so limited. I can think of at least 10 things, off the top of my head that are way worse than joining the military.
I see this backfiring in tragic/hilarious ways. Mud geysers launching 500lb concrete balls like pea shooters...It would be epic.
Sorry James Cameron, the DaVinci Code already did this.
Chinese reproduction stories always make me giggle. So Hong Kong's limitation on pregnant women from the mainland elicited a good chuckle. And this article, "China Fears Bachelor Future" despite the age, also amused me.
"I don't have a girlfriend, I can't find one," said 25-year-old Xiao Ming, blushing furiously, as he concentrates on chopping bamboo. "It's because I can't speak properly and I don't understand romance."
Awww. ;_; You can marry my sister, or so my mom is planning. I just found out, and I don't know why I'm surprised, that my biological mother is already looking for husbands for her three daughters. This only concerns me, because I happen to be one of those three daughters... The beauty of this is my bio-mom tried to tell me I can't date till after I graduate from college or am 25. Because she arranged a marriage for a relative who was 28 and unmarried, I assumed that I had 3 years of hassle-free open dating, at least by her calendar. (What she doesn't know isn't really any of her business.) But no, she's trying arrange marriages right now, without me knowing. LMAO. She already has one lined up for my 12 year old sister. He's six years older, from France, and his dad owns a company in China. His dad is one of my mom's ex-boyrfriends (she has A LOT of those). His dad has also agreed to this arrangement. o.O
I was informed that my mom has 3 candidates for me, all sons of her friends on the mainland, and all taller than me. She's doing that so I have a "choice." I laughed, and I laughed, and I WTFed a lot too. Since she has no way of enforcing this, I'm not worried at all. I'm just amused. Really, really fucking amused. I had a whole fantasy going where one came to visit and I dragged him to the range, with some of my guy friends overacting, just a little.
But it should be noted that my mom is a matchmaker extraordinaire. When in China, I met several of her friends whom she had hooked up. She does a lot of this crap. I think she has around 50 couples to her credit, so I'm just going to be very very careful...as if my love life wasn't complicated enough.