Unoriginal (for once) meme-like thing, courtesy of upstart_crow.
TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
I think it's still the William Blake from last time, but it's covered in widgets now.
Q. How many televisions do you have in your house?
Three. (All incapable of receiving signals from Space.)
BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Predominantly left-handed, but I shoot right-handed.
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Lost a toenail cross-country running as a schoolboy. Does that count?
Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My conscience. But I threw it down a deep, dark well. Won't be seeing that again...
Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
No. (The nurse was astonished, and muttered something or other about me being an elephant. Long story...)
BULL*OLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No, I've got the day covered. Now we're just haggling over the hour.
Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Oh, bless! Plenty to choose from already, thanks.
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
I have no idea. And it's colour. Hang on, is this an ethnicity/sex thing? ("I want to be on you," etc. - Anchorman.)
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Probably. Some sweet wrappers just won't let go, and I'm always in a hurry...
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Tut. Do I look that cheap?
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Oh, crap. Lousy timing on that one, chaps. But no.
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Being paid not to blog is an option I'd dearly love to offer so many people on LiveJournal it just isn't true...
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
See the one about kissing, above. But I believe there's something on file at Fortean Times for a rainy day...
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Probably.
Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Where would you like me to take it? (More importantly, can we book Lulu to come and sing The Man With The Golden Gun live afterwards, just so I can feel smug?)
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
My left pocket lining.
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
Yes.
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Both.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
If I had a shower, I'd do cartwheels in it.
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
One. (I rent all the others.)
LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who texted you?
astartesyriaca.
Q: Last person who called you?
Some gimp asking for "Jackie". Wrong number, clearly, but I told her that Jackie's chained to the wall in the basement so she'd better start thinking damned seriously about that ransom demand. (I really hate people who mis-dial.)
Q: Last person you hugged?
astartesyriaca.
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
"Favoritology" isn't a proper word, dude.
Q: Season?
Why have a favourite season? It's not as though I can hibernate through the ones I don't like.
Q: Color?
This section of the survey is actually more ridiculous than all the others combined, you know.
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
Consistently. I really need to adjust the sights on this rifle...
Q: Mood?
Plenty, thanks.
Q: Listening to?
Some high-pitched, whiny bitch telling me that the Metropolitan line is suspended. Again.
Q: Watching?
The world going to Hell.
Q: Worrying about?
The Iranians getting data to me in good time, and it making sense.
Q: Wearing?
Clothes.
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
The bathroom, I think. Jeez, this is getting creepy...
Q: What can you not wait to do?
Reach the last question of this pointless, time-wasting little exercise...
Q: Do you smile often?
Only on the inside. Is that ©The Joker?
Q: Are you a friendly person?
Why, what's riding on it?
Okay, everyone remind me not to do another one of these things for at least a year, all right?