This place can't be a secret, look at all those chairs!
Since mankind crawled out of the primordial ooze
There has been reading, and the time honored tradition of books
Book making is a vitally important part of our culture.
I would not be here today speaking to you, if it were not for books
Books are what set mankind apart from the animals!
Or--at least--they once did!
I tell you all tonight not of some fancy farfetched idea,
but of the shocking irrefutable truth revealed to me and validated by research.
We have heard instructors complaining that they cannot read student’s handwriting,
comparing it to ‘Chicken scratch.’
We have heard students complaining that man’s best friend, the dog,
is a homework eater.
Is this not evidence that animals are discovering printing?
And already attempting to eclipse us by destroying vital printed content?
To borrow terms from our collective enemy,
I say nay! And perhaps moo!
I don’t know exactly what these terms mean,
but the feeling and their emotion should carry to each and every one of you tonight.
Down!
Down with the monkeys and their typewriters!
the cows and their ‘moo-vable’ type!
And the elephant too! Just because it was in the room.
There has been reading, and the time honored tradition of books
Book making is a vitally important part of our culture.
I would not be here today speaking to you, if it were not for books
Books are what set mankind apart from the animals!
Or--at least--they once did!
I tell you all tonight not of some fancy farfetched idea,
but of the shocking irrefutable truth revealed to me and validated by research.
We have heard instructors complaining that they cannot read student’s handwriting,
comparing it to ‘Chicken scratch.’
We have heard students complaining that man’s best friend, the dog,
is a homework eater.
Is this not evidence that animals are discovering printing?
And already attempting to eclipse us by destroying vital printed content?
To borrow terms from our collective enemy,
I say nay! And perhaps moo!
I don’t know exactly what these terms mean,
but the feeling and their emotion should carry to each and every one of you tonight.
Down!
Down with the monkeys and their typewriters!
the cows and their ‘moo-vable’ type!
And the elephant too! Just because it was in the room.