(no subject)
When I dream, I drop into a world of unreal possibilities, shards of worlds close to our own where things are slightly or very different. I fly, I build castles and populate these worlds with strange peoples. My whims push me toward different fantasy realities; in my dreams I am so very powerful. My dreams, which hover just within reach while I am awake. I can pull them out and examine them, allow them to be real in my mind for a space of time. Relive them, continue them, modify them. I lose more and more control of the real world, but my dreams are ever more expansive and fantastical. It's depressing, kind of scary, and entirely too real. Sometimes I feel like the world I live in is unhinged, not entirely set on the waking parts. Like my dreams somehow tug on the axis of the world, shifting my waking life around and changing bits and pieces of it. When I see it that way, I feel like I am also under someone's spell, like I'm a puppet being tugged around and manipulated in the real world so that my dream world will change too. It's hard to explain how or why, because it's a dreaming intuition, not a waking one. I'm terribly frightened and I'm not sure what to do.