hey
hey guys havent written in a while. been busy ya kno work skool and all. my car is running great juss hooked it up with a few things it needed really bad. well tuesdays and thursdays i have con-current enrollment which sucks really bad but i gotta do it. tommorrow im offically going on a diet i need to lose not juss a couple but a few more than a couple. like to the point where that one episode of family guy chris is sitting on the side of the pool at a hotel and two people that work at the hotel come up to where he is and one says to peter his dad who is standing next to "uh sir you cant park your mini van next to the pool" hotel employee 1 says and peter replied with " thats not my mini van thats my son" "oh" says employee one. then eployee one says to employee two " its not a mini van its just a fat kid". like that but not as harsh. today i woke up at like 1p.m. i was surprised my mom didnt wake me up and say eric do some algebra but she didnt then i got up took a shower and went to the store without fixing my hair and that is mad crazyness right there. it was poofy ness all around it was crazy but i went to the store to get hair gel and fixed it up and it was kinda curly but really spiky its was cool. then i got to work and it was mad busy ask damian he had to cashier i was in the office he went through mad customers today. well today was mad emo ness i was all blank everybody at my work was like eric are u ok and i was like yeah yeah im cool but i was really sad. it was really weird i didnt kno why i was sad i mean i went to a mad cool party the other night and i was having a good time and then the next day im all poop. i was rly sad had no clue y i was almost gonna cry after my shift in my car but didnt. i kno i kno sissy eric but i didnt kno wat was wrong i was very depresses for some reason. but tommorow im putting on my extra fake smile tomorrow. i like this girl named cat at my skool. shes my best friends sister and i talked ot him about it and hes like go for it (since he likes my sister gross) so i try talkin to her and everything buying her lunch and everything wen i go off campus but i really dont think it would work i dont think shes my type. i dont kno why i even bother writing in this no one ever gives me feed back on my pathetic life so yeah. i want someone juss someone that i can be with and not be afraid to be with her in front of everyone someone that i would last forever with someone i can make happy and make me happy. someone who is there for me and me there for them in return. someone i can send flowers to juss bc its wednesday, or juss because i care. ya kno but i dont see that happening to me anytime soon. this is out to katy im not sure if you read my journal enetries but i kno that u would do anything to be with me but i juss cant be with u. the first time we went out it was perfect but then u dumped me bringing everything u every wanted with u it was fun while it lasted but u blue it. lesson learned. lesson learned for me too every girls heart ive ever broken and hurt i have learned from today bc i juss reliezed that that was the reason that i was sad i was thinking about all the girl ive ever hurt in my entire life and how sad they were and now i juss feel awful and would give the world and everybody in it to change each and everyone of those girls heart to never meeting me and never dating me os that it would be one heart break less in their past bc ive done a bad thing or things and its juss not right for someone to do that mayb a lil but not as much as me that isnt fair to everybody else for wat ive done. ive learned my lesson the next girl that im with will last forever everything will be perfect like david and melissa, and tim and xena i thnk it is , and robbie and crystal well mayb not robbie and crystal they break up and get back together too much. but like those couples they have perfect relationships i cnat say that i have had a perfect relationship bc ive always screwed everything up friendships u name it ive done it and i wanna take it all back. ive messed with peoples lives , hearts, im a screw up kid and accident a nobody and an accident waiting to happen i wish i could meet a girl and talk and sparks will fly but with me nothing like that every seems to happen its like that song by the used "ill be juss fine pretending i am" face im juss a loser. ill never find someone. well imma go to bed night world. pe@ce.