.....
Not to be emo (again), but I've been really depressed lately. I'm not entirely sure why, either... I just am. Everything's just gotten to be too much again. It happens once in a while, I start feeling overwhelmed and go into a really deep depression.
Yesterday morning I sat in the shower with the water running for like forty-five minutes; sat, with my knees pulled up to my chest, just kind of staring. I'm even past the point of crying anymore. I never thought I'd say I actually wanted to cry, but I guess it's different when you can't.
Man. And being depressed like this always makes me even more tired than usual. I was already dealing with CFS acting up, and now this added on to it makes it so I just want to sleep like twenty hours a day.
I don't want to eat, either, I just do because I know if I don't I'll, you know, die. I've been living on tomato soup for the last week or so. Though yesterday and today I did have other stuff; some fries from KFC and then today some stew that I made over at Mom's.
It's stupid, too, because a lot of the stuff that's pushing me to be this way is little, shouldn't mean anything. But it's just all of it piled up... and I just really want someone here to cuddle with. That's saying something-- I never cuddle IRL, so I have to be really down to want to be snuggly like that.
And I <3 my cats/rabbits/etc., but they're just not the same as a person... you know? Don't tell them I said that.
EDIT: Pics for yesterday and today;
Possum in his harness/carrier thing. It's awesome, they can just carry him like a purse! lol. The reactions are varied, about half the people think it's cute, and half think it's cruel. Possum LOVES it (contrary to the expression I managed to capture in this pic. >>;) Every time Mom gets it out, he dances because he's so excited, then when she lays it out in the ground he bounces over to stand in it, and just waits for her to fasten it up. Haha. <3 I kinna want one for my cats. xD;;
Hmm. I was trying to get a pic of the bald spot above Pauper's eye without disturbing her because she was sleeping (and had a stressful day), but it didn't turn out well did it? It's above her left eye (so to the right in the photo), but the skin is all dark so it kind of blends in with her fur, apparently. If I can get a better pic I'll swap them out. The black hole cuddled up on Pauper's left in this is Phoenix.
Yesterday morning I sat in the shower with the water running for like forty-five minutes; sat, with my knees pulled up to my chest, just kind of staring. I'm even past the point of crying anymore. I never thought I'd say I actually wanted to cry, but I guess it's different when you can't.
Man. And being depressed like this always makes me even more tired than usual. I was already dealing with CFS acting up, and now this added on to it makes it so I just want to sleep like twenty hours a day.
I don't want to eat, either, I just do because I know if I don't I'll, you know, die. I've been living on tomato soup for the last week or so. Though yesterday and today I did have other stuff; some fries from KFC and then today some stew that I made over at Mom's.
It's stupid, too, because a lot of the stuff that's pushing me to be this way is little, shouldn't mean anything. But it's just all of it piled up... and I just really want someone here to cuddle with. That's saying something-- I never cuddle IRL, so I have to be really down to want to be snuggly like that.
And I <3 my cats/rabbits/etc., but they're just not the same as a person... you know? Don't tell them I said that.
EDIT: Pics for yesterday and today;
Possum in his harness/carrier thing. It's awesome, they can just carry him like a purse! lol. The reactions are varied, about half the people think it's cute, and half think it's cruel. Possum LOVES it (contrary to the expression I managed to capture in this pic. >>;) Every time Mom gets it out, he dances because he's so excited, then when she lays it out in the ground he bounces over to stand in it, and just waits for her to fasten it up. Haha. <3 I kinna want one for my cats. xD;;
Hmm. I was trying to get a pic of the bald spot above Pauper's eye without disturbing her because she was sleeping (and had a stressful day), but it didn't turn out well did it? It's above her left eye (so to the right in the photo), but the skin is all dark so it kind of blends in with her fur, apparently. If I can get a better pic I'll swap them out. The black hole cuddled up on Pauper's left in this is Phoenix.