Fic: All the things we care about (3/4) [Sledge/Snafu, The Pacific]
Title: All the things we care about, part three | What we will remember
Pairing: Sledge/Snafu
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The contents of this story are entirely fictional and they don’t concern the real men from World War II, but the actors. I don’t own anything.
Warnings: Minor spoilers for The Pacific.
A/N: Thanks and credit goes to flwrpwr_vampyre for beta'ing!
Summary: It was the heat of things left unsaid and stolen glances, the aching aggravation of all the times they collided but didn’t connect. It broke free from his skin, split open his skull and for the second time he lost it completely, yet in a way he’d never experienced before.
Part 1
Part 2
What we will remember
Snafu POV
In the end it wasn’t the screams and gunshots and explosions that broke him. It wasn’t the way the rain turned the earth into a muddy pool full of dead bodies. No, it was the unanswered cry for help from a desperate mother, seconds before she exploded right in front of their eyes. It cracked his shell and let despair slip in. Just for a moment. But he knew, he knew he would carry it with him for a lifetime.
With the blasts and cries still echoing through his head, Snafu had sunk to the ground and lost his mind to the madness of the world; to the blood that embraced his skin like a cloak. And then he closed up the crack and moved on, knowing the scar of it would never fade. At that point he understood war to its fullest.
It took losing his mind to get a grasp on it again.
---
Okinawa was a sequence of fighting and death and Japs who didn’t seem able to run to battle without screaming at the top of their lungs. Maybe that was the reason why all he and Sledge seemed to do was shout at each other. Maybe they had to shout to be audible over the Japanese screaming inside their heads.
They had fights over the smallest things, but the reason for it had nothing to do with anything really. Nothing but the two of them and all the things that happened or rather, hadn’t happened. So when the two of them were waiting for orders in front of the bombed cabin where they had found the crying baby, it was bound to happen again.
Snafu had lit a cigarette and stood smoking while watching down the mountain. ‘It’s ironic,’ he said, basically just to have something to say. ‘They fight to the death and we fight to survive.’
Sledge was looking away from him, his gaze set on the cabin. ‘There’s nothing ironic about it, Snafu. You think they don’t want to go home, to their families? Just because they’re Japs doesn’t mean they’re not humans like us.’
‘Yeah, but - just ‘cause they’re Japs - I don’t give a shit about what they want.’ He took a long drag at his cigarette and watched Sledge through the curtain of the smoke he exhaled. ‘What’s up with ya anyway? You’ve been blowin’ hot and cold over this, boy. Make up your mind already, whether ya hate ‘m or not.’
‘Get off my back, Snafu,’ Sledge said, irritated. ‘What are you talking about anyway? That’s not something you have to make your mind up about.’ While he spoke, he moved towards the cabin again, climbing up the stairs and disappearing inside. Snafu followed him, partly intrigued, partly annoyed. Sledge went into a room with a dead woman, kneeling beside her. He picked up a round, wooden object from the floor and sat there for a while, weighing it in his hand. When the light from outside fell on it for a moment, he saw the object was painted as a doll.
‘Ya know,’ Snafu said softly to Sledge’s back, ‘some feelings ya should make your mind up about.’
Sledge rose up and walked from the room in an obvious attempt to avoid Snafu. Who followed of course.
‘So, talkin’ about goin’ home, huh?’ He stayed clear off the more dangerous edges of the conversation. ‘Back to your parents? Or findin’ yourself a girl to build your own family with?’ Or at least he did his best.
Sledge fidgeted with the doll. ‘Why are we talking about this?’
‘We’re friends, right?’ Snafu said, his voice tense. He took a last drag, dropped the cigarette to the floor and stamped it out.
Sledge shrugged. ‘I guess.’ He turned away from Snafu and having to face his back yet again pushed him over the edge.
He let out a frustrated grunt, his blood boiling with something similar to anger. It was the heat of things left unsaid and stolen glances, the aching aggravation of all the times they collided but didn’t connect. It broke free from his skin, split open his skull and for the second time he lost it completely, yet in a way he’d never experienced before.
‘Fuck this,’ he growled, ‘and fuck you, Gene.’
He launched himself at Sledge, jerked him around and slammed their mouths together, his hands forcefully holding the other’s face in place. There wasn’t the slightest doubt or surprise in Sledge’s reaction. Maybe he saw it coming… maybe he even met him halfway. He dropped the wooden doll and his hands clutched at Snafu’s arms, neither drawing him closer nor pushing him away, just holding him in a tightened grip. He kissed back, melted into the sensation and they simply fused together.
There was nothing to compare it with, nothing to relate it to. Yeah, he had kissed lots of women before, fucked them even, but never had he felt the same scorching thrill as a simple kiss from Sledge gave him. In that instant, he fully admitted to himself how much he wanted the man. How much he needed him.
Their breaths mingled as they shared the longest, most desperate kiss, until they ran out of air and had to break apart, but it hurt, it hurt and after only seconds of frantic breathing and searing looks they came together again, all lips and tongue and teeth and hands threading through grimy hair.
… How much he loved him. Never to be said aloud.
Snafu forced them closer, pulling Sledge in by his neck and shoving a thigh between the other man’s legs, earning him a whimper. The sound went straight to his groin and if he hadn’t already been hard, he sure as hell was now. He let his lips roam away from Sledge’s mouth and placed a trail of kisses over the man’s throat, everywhere he hadn’t dared to touch the other time. Sledge made a strangled sound, as if he tried to regain the control over his vocal chords.
‘I - I never thought you’d work up the courage to actually -’ his breathe hitched as Snafu licked over his Adam’s apple ‘- cut the chase and kiss me.’
Snafu bit his bottom lip and Sledge groaned against his mouth. ‘And I never thought you’d have the courage to talk ‘bout it.’
‘Well, since we’re on the matter… You’re not going to rip off my clothes this time?’
‘Save it for later,’ Snafu murmured against the shell of his ear, before softly pulling at the lobe with his teeth. He moved back to Sledge’s mouth and claimed it his while he pushed the man down. The other’s breathing became shallow and he smiled into the kiss.
He placed himself on top of Sledge, shifting until their entire bodies were pressed against each other. A wave of pleasure washed through him when their hard-ons lined up and he could feel that Sledge was just as hard as he was. He pushed his hips forward lightly in order to create friction and the man gasped into his mouth. Snafu found himself tugging at the clothes that kept them apart, yanking open Sledge’s vest and pulling up the shirt. He shoved a hand underneath and caressed the white skin, shortly grazing over a small scar - the scar he put there himself. With the other hand he opened Sledge’s pants and slid inside. When his fingers curled around the other’s erection, Sledge arched up into his hand with a loud moan, too loud, then covering his mouth as to keep himself from making such a noise again. But when Snafu started to move his hand, more sounds broke free from Sledge’s lips and there was nothing he could do to stop it. It was like he'd never had this done before and the intense reactions left Snafu painfully hard, dying to be touched, but he ignored it and instead lowered himself to take Sledge in his mouth. It only took as much as to enveloped the head with his lips for Sledge to start thrashing about, fiercely pushing up his hips and gasping for air. His hands found Snafu’s hair and pulled hard. That’s when it dawned upon him.
‘Virgin,’ he said with a grin, not even bothering to make it sound like a question. He pressed a gentle kiss to Sledge’s stomach, his lips brushing by the scar on his ribs.
‘I thought we weren’t going to talk,’ Sledge groaned, but he didn’t deny it. He pulled Snafu towards his mouth again and clashed into a kiss to silence him. It was teeth against teeth and it hurt - and it felt good, so good.
It became instantly clear why Sledge wanted him up there, as his hand started to unbutton Snafu’s pants, before copying his actions and starting to jerk him off. His eyes fluttered close from the pleasure it send throughout his entire body and he let out a choked sound that could possibly be translated as: ‘Gene!’ He then wrapped his hand around Sledge’s hardened length again and joined him, stroking in the same steady rhythm. They were too busy with gasping and moaning to find time to kiss, but their mouths never strayed apart for more than a few inches.
It didn’t take long for Sledge to climax - in fact he got there disappointingly fast - and the only reason Snafu came in unison with him, was because he heard his name escape from the other’s lips. It sounded more like a groan than anything else but he was sure he had recognized ‘Shelton’ in it. Whatever it was, it drove him over the top and made his mind go blank for a moment, his body shuddering through the ecstasy of his orgasm.
When the last waves of pleasure dimmed out, he collapsed on top of Sledge, wondering if the sticky mess of cum and sweat between them would maybe glue them together. Give him a reason to never leave again. He pressed their foreheads together, still gasping and trying to ease his breathing. When finally he rolled over - they came apart again and he hated it, hated it - and found the courage to look at Sledge, he saw his eyes were still closed and his chest was still heaving. One look at the muddled hair and the swollen lips and Snafu was hot all over again. He pressed the palm of his hands against his eyes and gritted out, ‘Fuck.’
When he uncovered them again and pushed himself up on his elbows, Sledge was already cleaning himself up with a ragged cloth, not avoiding Snafu’s eyes, but also not exactly engaging in a staring contest. He looked… shy. Snafu didn’t know what to think of that, but he almost sniggered. When Sledge passed him the cloth, he cleaned up too. Throwing it away, he remembered where they were precisely; the only thing between them and the bodies of the dead Okinawans was a wall of moldy wood.
‘This might have been a bit inappropriate,’ he muttered, staring up at what remained of the ceiling.
‘The woman… I held her when she died,’ Sledge answered, as if it made everything right. As if it justified the world. But maybe it did.
Snafu put his hand on the man’s arm, trying to find the right words, but not succeeding. Reading it in his eyes, Sledge said: ‘If for some reason you’re trying to console me again, like with my dog… don’t.’
Snafu smiled, relieved to not have to think of something. ‘Hell, at least I did my best. So ya better be grateful.’
They laid together for a while, not in an embrace but touching nevertheless. His eyes raked over the other’s body, ogling the dishelved clothing and the places of exposed skin. Even before they heard voices outside, Sledge had already shifted away from him. Strangely enough, it didn’t bother him that much; it didn’t hurt like he’d thought it would, but then again he wasn’t so stupid as to expect anything. As the voices grew louder, the time that they had together got shorter.
‘Eugene,’ he breathed, but then halted and went silent. Sledge didn’t ask him what he had been about to put into words, because maybe, just maybe, he knew exactly what he wanted to say but couldn’t. Snafu was damn well aware that the other had no need to hear those words. Yet nothing could stop him from thinking them.
Stay with me. Even after we cross the ocean once more and leave the war behind. Embrace me again and again and again until the world falls apart and our days have reached their limit. And until then, promise to only ever kiss me and no one else.
Will you?
He didn’t say any of it, as he wasn’t ready to let go just yet. Sledge broke the moment by reaching for the doll. At that, they drew apart, straightened their clothes and left the cabin. Dreams always were there to be dreamed. So why did they hurt so much, Snafu wondered. Outside, the sun shone a little bit brighter.
---
Or at least, will you remember me?
Part 4