"i feel a million miles away and i don't know what to say..."
they say we'll always be friends then turn their backs and run away. or at least they make it appear that way i just got done thinking back over the last few months and it's crazy how things have changed, so i'm not even goin to try and explain. all i have to say is that i wish people didn't grow apart after growing so close. i had a weird dream the other night i dreamt that me and some old friends were best friends again and that all the pain of the past few years was healed. i can only hope that that truly happens!! i hate it i hate having my heart ripped in tiny little pieces of nothingness, tossed to the ground and then ground into it as if it were a cock roach. just in case some of you didn't know i have feelings, i can love, i can cry, i can feel pain and i can turn around and do the same thing back to you, but i wont why? cuz i still love you, i still want to be friends, i still am praying that we can make it through this. some might call me naive, others would say i'm stupid, and still more might just decide it's my own fault and screw me over for the fun of it. but you know what oh well i guess i am stupid i guess i am naive then cuz i don't care what others think and i do care about you! i care that your in pain and want help, i care that i might have hurt you, i care that your fragile world has come crashing down and your are buried by 12 billion tons of debris and i want you to know that I'm trying to dig you out that i have 5 search dogs looking for you and more on the way, that I'm tossing off as many chunks of debris as i can!! i want to find you i want to be with you again having fun! i love you and i miss you and I'm calling out your name as loudly as i possibly can i truly want to find you alive and in one piece. i want all of your times back and for us to free from all the crap in our lives!